


the spark

by hipgrab (merrymegtargaryen)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, aka the hunger games au no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-03-31 13:08:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 72,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13975782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrymegtargaryen/pseuds/hipgrab
Summary: “Let’s give a warm round of applause to our volunteer, Rey Niima!”There was no applause, and she hadn’t expected any. Nor had she expected a handful of people kissing three fingers on their left hands and then raising them in a salute. In a moment, everyone in the crowd followed suit.The three-fingered salute was a gesture from long ago, even before the uprising. It was a sign of admiration. Of respect.Rey’s eyes welled.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAAAHHHHH.
> 
> So, let me start this off by saying that not only is this my first multichapter reylo fic, but this is also the longest fic I've ever written. It clocks in at about 72k, so, uh, I'm really excited. It is a complete work, so I will be posting a new chapter each week. 
> 
> This is, if you couldn't already tell, a Hunger Games AU. I borrowed a lot of the source material and ignored even more of it. Take that as you will. 
> 
> HUGE shout-out to reyofdarkness for betaing! 
> 
> I love comments/questions/concerns and I welcome constructive criticism, so please don't be shy!

Her dreams are haunted by children.

In her dreams, she is still in the arena, the desert sand and her own staff stained with blood. In her dreams, she can see all of them, a trail of bodies with bloodied faces and wide, glassy eyes staring accusingly at her. 

_ Why did you get to live? _ they seem to ask her.  _ Why? Why? Why? _

The last pair of eyes is always the hardest to see, and it’s these eyes more than the others that make her wake up, screaming.

The Hunger Games were five, almost six months ago, but the dreams haven’t gotten any better. Everyone tells her it will get better, but she doesn’t see how it could. She is alive because twenty-three children died. Their deaths paid for her nice clothes and this big, empty house and the Victory Tour that she is about to take across Coruscant. 

She hates herself.

She sits up in bed now, her pajamas damp with sweat. The clock at her bedside tells her it’s just after five in the morning. She sits for a moment, lets the sweat cool against her skin, and then gets up to change into something old and ratty. Or as old and ratty as she can find. She left almost all of her clothes at the orphanage when she moved into the Victor’s Village; the girls there needed her hand-me-downs more than she did. 

It’s still dark when she sets out for a walk, the morning quiet but for the frozen snow crunching under her boots. She lets her feet carry her up the slope of the mountain, as far as she’s allowed to go before hitting the fences. She sits just below the crest for a while, watching the sun come up. It really is lovely, the sky casting its pink and gold light over the snow-capped mountains. It almost feels safe. If safe was something she could feel anymore.

The Capitol isn’t happy with her. Or rather, President Snoke and the gamemakers aren’t happy with her. Rey bent the rules. She refused to kill her friend just so that she could win. She won anyway, because there’s always a winner, there  _ has _ to be, but she’s going to pay for it.

“What will they do?” she asked, after.

“Anything they want.”

Nothing has happened, not yet, but it’s only a matter of time. 

When the sunrise is over and her rear end is numb from sitting so long in the snow, she brushes herself off and makes the descent down the mountain. District 5 is coming to life as she does so, people heading to the power plants or the market or the school or wherever it is people go. She passes the orphanage as she goes, watches the older children shoulder their packs as they head to work. The younger children will be in “school”, she knows--or the orphanage’s excuse for a school. It’s just a holding tank, really, until they’re old enough to work. She’s done with all that now. Unkar Plutt’s one success. Or so he likes to tell everyone. 

Grudgingly, Rey has to admit that she might not have won if it hadn’t been for Plutt. He was a terrible caretaker, given to drinking and beating, but if Rey had never had to dodge his beatings, she might not have survived the games. If his cruelty hadn’t taught her how to hide, how to go unnoticed, she would have died early on. 

But she hid, and she went unnoticed, and she didn’t die.

Luke is leaning in his doorway when she walks back into the Victor’s Village. “Breakfast?” he calls.

She nods, and together they walk over to the Solo house.

The victors of District 5 are unusual because, with the exception of Rey, they are all related. Luke and Leia Skywalker are twins who won their games only a year apart. Some years later, Leia married her and Luke’s former mentor--Han Solo. It was all over the news, two former victors who found love. And when their son, Ben, won his hunger games, that was all over the news, too. For fifteen, almost sixteen years, all of the victors from District 5 were family.

And then along came Rey.

She doesn’t know quite where she fits in with the Skywalker-Solos. They treat her like the family she’s always wanted but never had--she eats with them several times a week, makes grocery runs and helps them with fixing things around the house. But sometimes she feels like she’s walking in on a conversation that she isn’t supposed to hear--like they’re hiding something from her. She knows it’s silly, but she doesn’t know how to make herself stop feeling it. Maybe, like the nightmares, that feeling will also pass.

Han is watching the television when they arrive, and his face breaks out into a smile when he sees them. “Leia’s making breakfast.”

“And you’ve been banned from the kitchen again?” Rey guesses as she plops down beside him.

“He’s  _ permanently _ banned,” says a familiar voice, and Rey turns around and smiles at Leia. Of all her former mentors, Leia is her favorite. She loves Han and Luke, of course, but Leia...Leia is something special. She jerks her head at Luke now. “Come help me with breakfast, you’re the only one around here who knows his way around the kitchen.”

“Ben’s not a bad cook,” Luke says even as he goes to help his sister.

“Yeah, and where is he?” Han grumbles.

It’s no secret that Ben isn’t a devoted son, and it’s perhaps because of this that Rey doesn’t like him. She’s dreamt her entire life of her family coming back for her, of having two parents and a sibling or uncle or  _ someone _ . Ben has all those things, but he can’t stand being around them. He plays the part of the devoted son for the cameras, of course, but as soon as they’re in private he sulks. Even though he’s become more tolerable as a person (something he was not when he was mentoring Rey), she can’t stomach the sight of him shrugging off his parents, snapping at his uncle. She’d give anything to have what he has.

But, she has to remind herself, she’s the one having breakfast with the Skywalker-Solos. Not Ben. 

“So, kid,” Han asks. “You ready for the tour?”

Rey’s smile slips a little. Tonight, she and the four Skywalker-Solos embark on her Victory Tour. It’s customary for the victors to make a tour several months after their Hunger Games, visiting all the districts and ending in the Capitol. For the next few weeks, Rey will have to look into the eyes of the families of the fallen tributes, will have to rub her victory in their faces while they mourn the loss of children they will never see again. 

“I’m ready for it to be over,” Rey says. 

Han snorts. “Yeah, we’re right there with ya, kid.” He pats her shoulder. “It won’t be too bad. You’ll be given speeches, and you just have to read them with a big, stupid smile on your face.”

Rey pastes a big, stupid smile on her face now. “Winning the Hunger Games was the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” she gushes. “Watching twenty-three children die instilled me with an orgasmic sense of patriotism.”

“That’s the spirit.”

They’ve just started eating, a hearty meal of biscuits with jam, cured ham and oranges, when Ben comes in. The room shivers as it always does, everyone trying so hard not to let him know how desperate they are for his company.  Rey is the only one who doesn’t say anything to him--so she’s surprised when he says, “I can’t stay. I need to talk to Rey.”

She looks at him, wonders if this is about her comportment in front of the cameras. It has to be--why else would he need a private word from her? She glances at the others, but they seem just as nonplussed as she is. She shrugs, wiping her mouth. “All right.” She follows Ben outside and is surprised when he leads her to his house. Inside are men wearing black suits and earpieces. “Ben?”

He puts a hand on her back, ushers her into his study and closes the door behind them. Sitting behind the desk is the last person Rey ever expected to see in District 5.

“President Snoke.”

He smiles at her, a wide, knowing smile. “Miss Niima.” He gestures to where Ben is setting a chair in front of the desk. “Please. Sit.”

Rey looks at Ben, tries to read his face, but she should know by now that reading his face is an impossible feat.

“I assure you, Mr. Solo was as surprised as you when I descended upon him,” Snoke says, and Rey reluctantly takes a seat. “But I wanted to make sure that someone else heard what I have to say to you.”

“And what is it you have to say?” Rey asks as politely as possible.

Snoke leans back in his seat. “Do you remember how you won the games, Miss Niima?”

Rey blinks at him. “Vividly. Sir.”

But just to demonstrate, Snoke taps the holo on the desk, and footage from the Hunger Games appears before them. Rey doesn’t need to watch to remember the sound of the cannon going off, the look she shared with Paige when they realized that they were the only two tributes left in the arena. But she watches anyway, helpless, as she jams her staff in the ground. 

“I’m not killing you,” her holo-projection says. 

“Well, I’m not killing you,” Paige retorts.

The pause seems so much shorter on the holo. It felt like it lasted years at the time.

“Then I guess we’re stuck,” Rey says. “If they want one of us to walk out of here, then that’s their problem.”

“If one of us is going to die,” Paige says, “they’ll have to do it themselves.”

Rey’s vision blurs as tears fill her eyes, but she can still make out the hug they shared, eyes screwed shut as they prepared to weather whatever the gamemakers could throw at them. 

The holo clicks off.

“That was bad form, Miss Niima.” Snoke looks entirely unimpressed. “You refused to cooperate, and there are some who have decided to follow your example.”

“My example?”

“You really do have the innocent orphan girl act down pat, don’t you?” Snoke says dryly. “People in the districts are taking your little stunt as an act of defiance.”

_ It was _ , Rey thinks,  _ it  _ was _ an act of defiance _ , but she can’t very well say that to him now. She schools her features into confusion. “I don’t understand, sir.”

“People are in open rebellion,” he says bluntly. “They believe that if two little girls can stand up to the Capitol, so can they.”

“This is the first I’m hearing of it,” she says truthfully. 

“It ought to be, as there hasn’t been any news coverage.” He shifts in his seat. “I will come right to the point, Miss Niima. You are about to embark on your Victory Tour, and rebels and loyalists alike will be watching you. I need you to convince the districts that you are loyal to Coruscant, through and through. I understand diplomacy is not your forte,” he adds with a sniff. “So Mr. Solo will be monitoring you.”

Rey remembers that Ben is in the room and turns to look at him. He looks almost as confused as she does. “Sir?”

“You heard me. I want her to  _ ooze  _ patriotism. I want everyone who sees her to be convinced that she is grateful to the Capitol for providing her with wealth and opportunities, and that she does not, in any way, approve of this rebellion.”

“Because I refused to kill my friend?” Rey can’t help snapping. “What if I refuse to do this for you?”

“Then this entire district will go up in flames,” Snoke says, as calmly as if she’d asked about the rules of chariot racing. “Everyone you have ever known or cared about will die. Except for you, of course--you will be made to watch. What’s another thousand souls to add to your conscience?”

Rey feels as if she’s been slapped. 

“Do I make myself clear?” he presses.

Rey nods, mute. 

“Good.” He rises. “Ben has some experience in these things...let him be your mentor once again.” He heads for the door, but Rey stands up.

“President Snoke?”

He turns to acknowledge her.

“Why not just kill me now?” she asks quietly. “Paige is dead...why not...take me out, too?”

“Perhaps you really are as stupid as you pretend.” Snoke gives her a look of contempt. “If you die, no matter how accidental that death may look, foul play will almost certainly be suspected. Rebels will think I had a reason to shut you up.” 

“Make it look like I killed myself.” She can’t believe how calmly she says it. “Slit my wrists. Hang me from a noose.”

Snoke actually laughs. “My, my--you almost sound eager. Victory isn’t as sweet as promised, is it? No, I’m not going to do that. Your death, by whatever means, will send the wrong message. But your saccharine smile as you sing Coruscant’s praises?  _ That _ is what I want. Do you think you can manage that?”

Rey swallows. “Yes.”

“Good.” He turns to Ben. “You know what to do.”

Ben inclines his head. “Yes, sir.”

Snoke saunters off, Ben following in his wake. Rey waits until she hears the front door slam before she sinks to the floor. “What have I done?” she whispers.

Ben finds her with her arms wrapped around her knees, rocking back and forth. “I should have killed myself,” she says. “Paige had a family, I didn’t have anything, and I knew they were just going to kill one of us anyway. It should have been me.”

“If you had killed yourself, Paige would be in the same place you are now for refusing to kill you.” He crouches before her, rests a tentative hand on her shoulder. “You fought the game in a way no one ever has before. In 74 years, you were the first two people who refused to end the game even when you had the chance.”

This is the kindest Ben has ever been to her, and somehow that unnerves her almost as much as her conversation with Snoke. If  _ Ben Solo _ is reassuring her...how bad are things?

“What did he mean when he said ‘you know what to do’?” she asks him.

Ben looks away. “My father...he drinks a lot. Surely you’ve noticed. It...loosens his tongue. There were a few incidents where he...he said some things he ought not to have. My mother and I have become quite adept at smoothing things over.”

Rey is surprised that this is the first she’s hearing about it. But it explains so much--why Ben is always surly around his father, always resentful, and why Han never seems to understand what he did wrong.

“So what happens now?”

He sits back, drops his hand. “Cee and I will work on your speeches. You just do as Snoke says--smile and sing Coruscant’s praises.”

“I can do that,” she mutters, more to herself than to him. A thought occurs to her and she looks up at him. “Should we...tell your family? About Snoke’s visit?”

He hesitates. “Let’s...keep it quiet for now. No use worrying them. With any luck, everything will go exactly as Snoke wishes.”

She nods, a little relieved. It’s bad enough that Snoke has threatened the entire district if she missteps--at least now Han and Leia and Luke won’t be upset with her for being so  _ stupid _ . Of course one of them had to kill the other--that was part of the game. How could she think it would be as easy as saying no? She  _ chose _ to be in the games. Specifically--she volunteered.

.

Rey had been at Unkar Plutt’s orphanage for as long as she could remember. She supposed that she had parents once, but she didn’t remember them. Maybe that was for the best.

The 74th Hunger Games would have been the last time her name would be in the bowl. She was eighteen, and somehow jitterier than she’d been six years ago.

_ Please _ , she prayed to whatever was listening.  _ Please don’t let my name be called _ .

And it wasn’t. A girl named Jessika Pava was called, and Rey breathed a sigh of relief. It was over. Her name hadn’t been called, and now it never would be. 

And then their escort called the name of a boy and Rey’s heart...well it  _ broke _ . Because he was so small--he had to be twelve or thirteen, but he looked much younger--and a woman and little girl in the crowd started crying and Rey knew they must be his family. This scared, shaking little boy would never survive the games, wouldn’t make it past the bloodbath, and his mother and sister would have to watch. 

And Rey...well, she was an orphan. She didn’t have anybody. And she didn’t want to brag, but she was good enough at running and hiding that she thought she could at least survive the bloodbath. And even if she didn’t...so what? Her life wasn’t some precious thing. 

She didn’t realize her feet were carrying her forward until Peacekeepers tried to stop her. “I volunteer!” she shouted. “I volunteer as tribute!”

A murmur rippled through the crowd as their escort, Cee Threepio, fumbled to remember the correct protocol. No one ever volunteered in District 5. In the Career districts, sure, but not in 5. It had happened a handful of times, but Rey was pretty sure none of those times had been an eighteen-year-old girl volunteering for a little boy who was a total and complete stranger. Was she even allowed to volunteer for a boy? Why would it matter so long as there was a body?

Cee Threepio seemed to arrive at the same conclusion, because after a moment he stuttered, “Well...I do believe we have a volunteer! Do come forward.”

Rey did, hardly able to believe what she was doing. All around her, people were staring. 

Cee Threepio was babbling, and when she finally joined him on the platform, he held the microphone to her. “May we have your name, miss?”

It took her a moment to remember. “Rey Niima.”

“Well Rey, you are making history today,” Cee Threepio told her, clearly excited. “Let’s give a warm round of applause to our volunteer, Rey Niima!”

There was no applause, and she hadn’t expected any. Nor had she expected a handful of people kissing three fingers on their left hands and then raising them in a salute. In a moment, everyone in the crowd followed suit.

The three-fingered salute was a gesture from long ago, even before the uprising. It was a sign of admiration. Of respect. 

Rey’s eyes welled. 


	2. Chapter 2

Rey’s team arrives mid-afternoon. Her escort, Cee Threepio, her head stylist, Maz Kanata, and Maz’s assistant, Artoo Detoo all coo over her, but Rey knows that secretly, Cee Threepio is appalled that she doesn’t take better care of herself. Cee has a fondness for metallics and the color gold, and while he doesn’t dress as lavishly as some of the escorts, he still outshines everyone in District 5. Rey, meanwhile, is just as unscrubbed as the day she was when she volunteered.

Maz takes her hands, since reaching for a hug is impossible given their height difference. “It’s so good to see you again, my girl,” she says, her voice warm. 

“It’s good to see you, too, Maz,” Rey says sincerely. 

Maz had been the District 5 stylist for a long time, even before Han had won his Hunger Games. It seems odd to Rey that a woman who is so short and squat and who dresses so unconventionally makes a living from dressing sacrificial children. But Maz is good at it. 

Rey never thought herself  _ ugly _ , per se, but she never thought herself beautiful, either. Not until Maz dressed her for her interview with Orson Krennic, helping her into a gown of cascading blue material. Rey felt beautiful for the first time in her life, and a small, selfish part of her is happy to see Maz because she knows it means she’ll be beautiful again.

Sure enough, Maz has Artoo wash and style her hair, teasing the normally thin hair into thick, lustrous waves. He applies simple makeup next--just enough to give her a healthy glow and make her eyes stand out on camera. Maz dresses her in a warm but flattering outfit of leather and faux fur--not really Rey’s normal style, but it gives her the look of an eager traveller. And that’s just what Snoke wants--for Rey to look ready and excited to visit all the districts and tell them how  _ wonderful _ the Capitol is. She has to play this part.

When she’s dressed and ready to go, she, her team, and the Skywalker-Solos head over to the train station.

“You’ll just say a few words about how you’re doing and how excited you are to be embarking on your Victory Tour,” Cee Threepio says in the car ride to the station. 

“Just smile and sound happy,” Ben mutters in her ear. 

“And if you run out of things to say, just give me a signal,” Han says. “The Capitol loves me.”

Leia and Luke laugh at this joke, but Ben’s jaw clenches.

The train is waiting for them at the station. Rey stands in front of it, beaming as Orson Krennic’s face appears on the screen. 

“And here we have her, ladies and gentlemen--the victor of the 74th Annual Hunger Games--Rey Niima!”

Rey can hear the tinny sound of cheers and applause. She widens her smile. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Ben watching her intently. She gives the camera a wave.

“Rey! How are you doing since we last saw you?”

“I’m just perfect, Orson,” she says gamely. “Thanks to the generosity of the Capitol, I’ve gone from living in a state-funded orphanage to owning my own home in the Victor’s Village.”

There’s a collective sigh on the other end. Rey’s story is something of a fairytale to the people in the Capitol. Lonely orphan to Capitol darling. Rags to riches. Tale as old as time. 

“Yes,” Orson says, “you’re certainly looking healthier than the last time I saw you!”

There’s a good chuckle at this. Rey is still stick-thin, but she no longer looks as starved as she’d been. Regular meals will do that to a person. 

“Well, I’ll tell you what, Rey--we’re all very, very excited to see you again. We’ll check in again during your Victory Tour!”

Rey keeps that big, painful smile on her face as she waves. The lights shut off and Orson’s face disappears.

“All right!” Cee trills. “Time to get on the train!”

Rey falls into step beside Ben. “How was that?” she whispers.

“Perfect,” he murmurs. “Keep that up and everything will be fine.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Luke asks with a mischievous look.

“I feel so fake when I’m on camera,” Rey says honestly. 

“I told her the Capitol won’t notice,” Ben says, a little less honestly. 

“They love fake,” Leia says. “Trust me, they’ll lap that up.”

Rey hopes she’s right.

.

Traditionally, tributes were given a moment alone with their families to say goodbye before they were taken to the Capitol.

But Rey had no family, and she wasn’t expecting anyone to visit her. When the Peacekeepers told her someone was coming to speak with her, she wondered if it was Unkar Plutt.

But it was the little boy whose name was called, the boy for whom she’d volunteered. He was with his mother and sister, and they all regarded her with wide eyes.

“Why did you volunteer for me?” he asked, and he sounded so  _ small _ .

Rey swallowed a lump in her throat. “Because you have a family,” she said. “And I don’t. You have people who love you and would miss you. I don’t. It’s...it’s easier this way.”

The mother came forward, clutching something in her fingers. She pressed it into Rey’s hand. “I’ll never be able to repay you,” she murmured. “But I want you to know...this means something to me. To my family. My sister volunteered for me, years ago. She never came home. But she left me this. I want you to have it.” And with that, she ushered her children out of the room.

Rey looked down at her hand and saw a golden pin in the shape of a mockingjay. 

The mockingjay was a symbol of the rebellion, back in the day. Jabberjays, muttations invented by the Capitol to spy on rebels, had mated with mockingbirds, and they produced an entirely new species--a mockingjay. And unlike most cross-breeds, mockingjays could reproduce. They became an entirely new species. They were a symbol of the rebellion because they were a mistake, something the Capitol had never meant to create and something that shouldn’t have survived. 

It was dangerous for this woman to give Rey her mockingjay pin. If the wrong person saw it, that woman might have lost her son anyway.

Rey curled her fingers around the pin. She would be like the mockingjay. She would survive when no one expected her to. 

.

The Victory Tour traditionally starts in District 12 and goes in descending order until they reach the Capitol. The tour will officially end in the victor’s home district.

It’s a long journey to 12, made even longer by the knowledge that 12 was Paige’s district. Rey will not only have to brag about her success to the poorest district in Coruscant, but she’ll have to face Paige’s family knowing that Paige’s sacrifice is what kept her alive. Do they resent her? She doesn’t blame them if they do. She’d hate the girl who stands where their daughter should be. 

She can’t sleep the whole ride to 12, and morning is almost something of a relief because at least she can stop lying in her bed and thinking about Paige Tico. She dresses in the simple slacks and blouse she packed, knowing that even though she’s just going to change after breakfast, it offends Cee’s sensibilities if she wears actual pajamas outside of her bedroom.

She’s the first one to breakfast, but is joined shortly by Cee, Ben, and Leia. Han shuffles in not much later, bleary-eyed and grunting. He’s always like this before his morning coffee. Maz and Artoo are the last to arrive, both of them throwing back coffee and some brightly colored pills that are supposed to wake them up. Rey knows that people in the Capitol don’t usually wake up this early; meanwhile, in 5, the working day has already begun.

“Now then,” Cee says as soon as everyone is gathered. “12 may not be the most impressive district, but its significance should not be understated, because it marks the beginning of the Victory Tour, and your behavior here will set the tone for the rest of the tour.”

Rey chews her lower lip. “So, what do I need to do?”

“It’s very simple,” Cee assures her. “All of us will accompany you to the Justice Building, where the mayor will make a few introductory remarks, then you’ll give a speech, shake hands with the mayor, and receive an honorary plaque. After that there will be a private, celebratory dinner with the mayor, and then it’s back on the train.”

Okay. Rey can handle that. 

“Ben and I have been working on your speech,” Cee continues. “I think it will go over well.”

“Ben’s been working on your speech?” Han asks, looking absurdly pleased. 

“I asked him to,” Rey blurts. “He’s better at public speaking than I am.”

“You’ll get there,” Luke says in what he thinks is an encouraging manner. 

She takes a glossy card from Cee, which has a perfectly lovely speech written on it. None of it sounds like her, of course, but no one from 12 really wants to hear her anyway, do they? 

Maz dresses her in a comfortable outfit of white topped with a tan, knit shawl. It’s a simple but elegant look, and not too far off from how Rey would voluntarily dress herself. It’s unassuming and won’t look flashy in the eyes of the poorest district in Coruscant. Rey appreciates it. As Artoo weaves her hair into simple braids, tying them together in a knot behind her head, she practices her speech. It sounds hollow and false, but Rey is determined to make it work.

When they arrive at 12, they are met by a small escort of Peacekeepers. There are no smiling and waving crowds.

“This isn’t very festive,” Cee sniffs. “But then,” he adds in a lower voice, “it never is out here.”

They take three cars to the Justice Building, where the mayor and his family greets them. The mayor is old and tired, and his family is not much better. Rey waits inside while he goes out to address the gathered members of 12. Everyone in her team is in mostly good spirits, lightly chatting as they watch the screen. Ben stands next to Rey and murmurs, “Stick to the speech and smile. Simple as that.”

She wants to believe him.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the mayor says at last, “I present to you the winner of the 74th Annual Hunger Games--Rey Niima!”

Cee ushers her out the open doors, reminding her to stand up straight as the crowd gives unenthusiastic applause.  _ Great _ , Rey thinks.  _ They already hate me _ . She pastes a big grin on her face, and she’s just starting to think it might be okay when she spies the platform where Paige’s face is blinking at her from a screen. It’s one of the promo clips they made for the games, where Paige is wearing her training uniform and giving the camera a neutral face. It’s a video clip, though, so she blinks and breathes and it’s as if the real Paige is staring at Rey. Standing in front of the screen are three people--Paige’s parents and a girl who can only be her sister. 

The smile slips on her face.

She drops her eyes to the card, reading Ben and Cee’s diplomatic words, but no amount of cheeriness makes them sound like something she’d ever say. Her eyes keep flickering up to Paige and her family, whose sorrow is still fresh on their faces.

She puts down the card. 

“I didn’t know Kes,” she says, addressing the fallen boy’s family. Her eyes turn back to Paige’s. “But I did know Paige. She was...more than an ally. She was my friend.” She swallows. “She was my first real friend. And I knew what we tried to do was impossible...but with her, it felt possible. I think about her every day.” She blinks back the tears that are welling in her eyes. “Nothing I can say will bring her back or make up for her sacrifice. She died to protect me, and that’s something I will never be able to forget. I know it in no way makes up for her loss as a sister, a daughter, and a friend, but I would like to donate one month of my winnings to the Tico family every year for the rest of my life.”

She knows she isn’t supposed to do that. The Capitol will probably never allow it. But she wants the Ticos to know that she thinks about them, that Paige’s death wasn’t just a stepping-stone on her way to victory. 

An old, wrinkled hand rises above the crowd, a three-fingered salute. The rest of the crowd raises their own hands in a salute, and Rey feels hot tears as she watches them. 

The quiet, beautiful moment is shattered when Peacekeepers march into the crowd, shoving people aside as they reach for the old man. Rey opens her mouth to shout, but two Peacekeepers are already shoving her inside the Justice Building. 

“No, don’t!” she tries to say, but they’re dragging the old man onto the platform. He swivels his head to look at her, and her eyes are still on his when they put a bullet into the back of his head.

Rey screams just as the double doors clang shut. She’s still screaming when Ben bodily picks her up and carries her down a winding hallway and into a sparse room. Han, Leia, and Luke follow them, eyes wide.

“What the hell was that?” Han asks. “The video feed went out--were those gunshots?”

“They killed him,” Rey sobs into her hands. “They killed him, it’s my fault, it’s all my fault…”

“It is  _ not _ your fault,” Leia says firmly. “Rey, don’t you blame yourself for this.”

Rey shakes her head. “I should’ve stayed on script, I shouldn’t have...it was wrong, I knew it was wrong…”

“What are you talking about?”

“Snoke came to visit her yesterday,” Ben says, and every eye in the room swivels to him. He’s staring at Rey. “There’s been...unrest in the districts. People view Rey and Paige as symbols of the resistance. He wants her to sound...patriotic.”

Han, Luke, and Leia erupt, but Rey tries to put her finger on what sounded so strange. “ _ The _ resistance?” she finally figures out. “You  _ knew _ about this?”

Everyone goes quiet, and Rey gets that feeling again, the same one she gets when she walks into a room and feels like she’s walked in on a conversation she wasn’t meant to be part of.

“There’s been unrest going on for a long time,” Leia finally says. “The Rebellion was put down 75 years ago, but there’s...a newer rebellion that’s been in the works for a while now. They thought the Hunger Games would keep us in our place, but it’s only fueled the fire.” 

“Are you…?”

“Now is not the time,” Ben says. “The less you know, the better.”

Rey sees the logic in that, so she nods. 

“Are you all right?” Luke asks. 

“I guess…? But that old man...those people…”

“Don’t think about it,” Han says, darker than Rey has ever heard him before. “Just...put it out of your head for the next couple of hours.”

It’s like playing the games all over again, like when Rey had to swallow her tears and move on. She swallows now and nods. “I just...I need a few minutes. Please.”

“Of course.” Leia leads her husband and brother from the room, but Rey grabs Ben’s arm, waits for the others to leave before she closes the door and turns to him.

“I can’t do this,” she says at once. 

“Yes you can.”

“I  _ can’t _ .” Her fingers bunch in the material of his jacket. “That man  _ died _ , and I still have to visit the other districts  _ and _ the Capitol--”

His hands come up to cup her jaw. She has a feeling it’s the gentlest way he knows to shut her up. “Listen to me,” he says, still gentle but firm. “You can do this. I know you can. Snoke would not have told you what to do if he didn’t think you could do it. What happened just now was...regrettable, I’ll admit that, but it wasn’t your fault. They never would have shot him if there wasn’t already an active resistance against the Capitol, all right?”

“But the resistance is  _ my fault _ ,” she croaks.

He shakes his head. “Resistance was always going to happen. Whether today or five years from now--something was going to snap. That isn’t your fault.” His thumb brushes away her tears. “Here is what’s going to happen. Maz and Artoo are going to transform you into some lovely vision, you’re going to make polite, inane chitchat with the mayor and his family over dinner, and then you’re going to get on that train and you can bawl your eyes out or scream or hit something or whatever it is you need to do. And when we reach District 11 tomorrow, you’re going to put a big smile on your face again and read the speech  _ exactly _ as I give it to you.”

“Okay,” she whispers.

He drops his hands. “Do you need a minute?”

She shakes her head, wiping the tears from her face. “No.”

They leave the empty room together, Ben’s hand hovering over her back. Maz and Artoo help Rey get ready in a guest room, dressing her in an ivory suit and applying powder to take the redness out of her face. Ben, Leia, Luke, and Han have all changed too, wearing formal suits. They are all smiles as the cameras face them, and Rey knows that their giant faces will be plastered on every building in the Capitol. She graciously thanks the mayor for his hospitality, dances with him and every other man who asks for the honor. Han and Leia showed her a few days ago, surprising her with how graceful they both are on the dance floor. They don’t seem like the dancing type, especially Han, but Rey relaxes when he escorts her onto the dance floor, leading so flawlessly that she doesn’t even have to think. 

When they finally head back to the train, Rey insists on undressing herself. Maz and Artoo don’t argue, leaving her alone. 

She does exactly as Ben suggested. She bawls her eyes out, she screams, she hits things. She takes a shower and weeps until she can’t anymore, and then she crawls into bed. She’s so exhausted that sleep takes her immediately. She dreams about the games again, and she dreams, too, of the old man. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to say it last week but THANK Y'ALL so much for reading and reviewing this fic! Your response has been so kind <3
> 
> I've decided to update every five days, but we'll see how long my impatient ass will last with that lol.

District 11 is only a little better than District 12. Rey smiles big and reads the speech exactly as it is given to her. She does not make an impromptu eulogy about the tributes from 11, she does not offer anyone a portion of her winnings, no one salutes her, and more importantly, no one dies. She checks out as she’s dressed and made up for dinner. It’s like watching another person with her face smile for the cameras and dance with the mayor, because she certainly can’t feel herself doing it. 

10 goes just as smoothly as 11, with hard faces staring up at her and only smattered applause. Ben nods his approval when she passes him in the Justice Building, and if she wasn’t so numb it would make her feel better.

The trouble starts again in 9. There’s a commotion about halfway through her speech, and when she looks up, it’s to find two people in the crowd with the three-fingered salute, their eyes intent on hers. Peacekeepers are headed towards them, but they don’t drag the people onto the platform, just shove them out of the way. Rey glances at Ben, and he nods, urging her to continue. No one says anything about it after.

The crowd in 8 is the liveliest yet. 8 is textiles, producers of clothes and accessories. They benefit from the Capitol’s attention, and they all cheer when they see the winner of the Hunger Games. Rey relaxes--here, she is sure, things will get easier.

Nothing bad happens--no one salutes or dies or does anything other than applaud. But a little girl offers her a bouquet and says, conspiratorially, “When I’m old enough, I’m going to volunteer--just like you.”

When Rey dreams that night, it’s of the little girl, her eyes glassy and unblinking as she stares up at the sky. In the distance, a cannon sounds, and Rey wakes up screaming. She throws up in the bathroom, her shoulders shaking, and when she pads back out to her room it’s to find Ben standing there. He looks immaculate even in his pajamas. 

“You were screaming,” he says, as if she wasn’t aware.

“I know.” She perches on the end of her bed. “Sorry if I woke you.”

He shakes his head. “Are you all right?”

A mirthless laugh bubbles up from her throat. “Are you serious?”

He shrugs. “Some people handle it differently than others.” He moves towards the vanity, picks up some of the bottles and jars Artoo keeps there. “My nightmares were terrible when I first came back. My mother ended up sleeping in my room for a while.” He doesn’t look at her. “And then one day she just. Stopped. And I kept having nightmares, kept waking up screaming, but...no one ever came to check on me. To see if I was all right.”

Rey doesn’t know what to make of this. “Maybe they thought you needed...space.”

“I was thirteen.” His eyes are dark as he looks at her. “I was a child. And my parents ignored me when I needed them most.”

Ah. It all makes sense now. Ben’s quiet resentment for a family who loves him.  _ They just didn’t love him the way he wanted them to _ , she realizes.  _ They tried to do what they thought was best and it hurt him. Damn, it hurt him. _

“They love you,” she says quietly.

He drops his eyes again. “I know.” There’s a long pause. “I guess what I’m trying to say is,” he says at last. “If you’re like me...if you don’t want to be alone...I, I could stay with you.”

It breaks her heart, just a little. She thinks about the thirteen-year-old boy who woke himself screaming with nightmares, who laid in bed for sleepless hours while dead children’s faces passed through his mind. 

“How do you sleep?” she asks. “Do you...do you still have nightmares?”

“Almost every night.” His lips twist. “My father self-medicates. Luke meditates. Sometimes my mother does, too. I read.”

“Will you read to me?” she asks, her voice sounding so, so small. 

He nods, and sits in the chair by a desk she’s never going to use. She only has magazines in her room, frothy, airheaded things, but he reads them anyway, his low rumble of a voice steady and soothing. 

Rey falls asleep and does not wake until morning.

.

The unrest in 7 is visible even before they get off the train. The mockingjay symbol is spray-painted in the tunnels, and much of the area is covered in smoke. They are escorted to the Justice Building in armored cars, and through the slit in the window, Rey can read the words  _ THE ODDS ARE  _ _ NEVER _ _ IN OUR FAVOR _ spray-painted on a wall. The crowd is restless, screaming at her while she reads from the card and begging her to tell them what she really thinks. It takes every ounce of Rey’s self-restraint not to drop the card or her smile, but she manages to hang onto both. She walks back into the building on shaky legs, collapsing as soon as the doors close. Ben and Han half-drag, half-carry her to the room where she’ll be changing for dinner.

“Tell them I’m sick,” she begs Cee.

“Rey, I understand you’re upset about the reception,” says Cee, who still thinks this is a popularity contest. “But you  _ must _ go through with this dinner.”

She bursts into tears. “I can’t, Cee, I just  _ can’t _ …”

Cee softens, patting her back. “You’re tired, is that it? Not been sleeping well?”

She nods.

Cee clucks his tongue. “I’ll give you something to help tonight. We’ll even leave dinner early. How does that sound?”

It doesn’t sound like what Rey wants at all, but she knows that it’s the best Cee can do. She forces a smile. “Thanks, Cee. I appreciate that.”

But Cee’s idea of leaving dinner early is leaving only half an hour earlier than they have been, and Rey’s nerves are worn thin by the time they escape to the train. She takes the sleeping pill Cee presses into her palm, and though she sleeps, her dreams are tormented by dead children and one old man. 

.

6 is not much better than 7. The crowd screams at her and the Peacekeepers are doing their level best to keep them from getting to the platform. Rey wonders, vaguely, how much of this will be edited out. She takes a sleeping pill from Cee, and when she falls asleep, she dreams about the games.

.

Rey’s Hunger Games were set in a desert. For miles around, all there was were rolling hills of sand and the occasional sheets of tin that would be used to make a shelter. When the countdown ended, Rey retrieved two things from the Cornucopia--a backpack, and a quarterstaff. She had shown proficiency with a staff in training, thanks in no small part to the hiking sticks she used in 5. It was a good, multifunctional weapon that she could use for more than just beating off attackers. 

The initial bloodbath took out a solid chunk of the tributes. The sky showed all their faces that night when it played the national anthem, but even before that, Rey counted the number of cannons. Nine down. Fourteen other people out there. That included her fellow District 5 tribute, Jessika Pava. Rey didn’t know if that relieved her or not. She and Jessika hadn’t tried to be particularly friendly, nor had they been hostile to one another. They were just...there. 

Rey used her staff against the other tributes when she had to, but she didn’t have to as much as she’d thought she would. Most of them perished from heat and dehydration, and if that didn’t outright kill them, it certainly weakened them enough for the Careers to pick them off. Rey, meanwhile, used her staff to dig into the ground and find water. She used the foil sheet in the backpack as a shelter and stayed far away from the Cornucopia, because she’d seen enough games to know that was where the Careers lived, that no matter how many supplies to survive lay within, she would almost certainly die before getting to use them. She could go longer than most without food thanks to Unkar Plutt’s generosity, but when she absolutely had to eat, she killed lizards. It was disgusting, but she was alive. 

Overall, her games were uneventful until she heard the screaming. Even now, she can still hear those screams as clearly as if they were coming from the room beside her.

To this day, she doesn’t know what propelled her feet forward, but something did. Something made her go find the source of the screaming. It was Paige, caught in quicksand. She turned her big, horrified eyes to Rey and shouted, “Help me, please!”

Rey stared back at her. It would have been so easy to let Paige die. Even if the quicksand didn’t kill her, the Careers were sure to hear her screaming and come finish her off. Rey could’ve just walked away.

But she didn’t. She approached the quicksand, watching the ground to see if there was a discoloration, any change in texture. 

“Be quiet, and stop moving,” she ordered, and Paige did.

Rey found the place where the sand rippled and knelt beside it. Then she thrust out her staff for Paige to grip. “Come on.”

Paige grabbed it without hesitation. She  _ trusted _ Rey.

It took a long time, but Paige finally climbed out onto the bank beside Rey and flopped down, gasping. 

“We should move,” Rey said. “Before someone comes investigating.”

Paige nodded, accepting Rey’s hand up. “Allies?”

Rey looked down to where their hands were still joined, then smiled up at her. “Allies.”

They shook hands.

But the memory changes here. In reality, they scuttled off in search of food and shelter, shyly trading names and anecdotes about what they’d been up to the last few days. In her dream, Paige opens her mouth and blood comes rushing out, staining her front and dripping down to the sand beneath. In her dream, Paige asks, “Why? Why did I die for you?” And then her bloody hand closes on Rey’s arm and Rey screams.

“Rey!”

“You’re not real, you’re not real!” she screams, batting at something that feels very real.

“Rey!” That isn’t Paige’s voice, it’s Ben’s, and she opens her eyes to see him looking at her with concern. She stops batting him, breathing hard.

“Ben?”

“You were screaming again,” he says. 

Something breaks inside her and she flings her arms around his neck, sobbing into his shoulder. Slowly, one arm wraps around her back, and the other strokes her hair. “Easy,” he murmurs. “You’re all right, everything’s all right.”

It occurs to Rey after a few minutes that Ben’s room is not exactly next to hers. Either he happened to be passing by...or her entire team could hear her and he’s the only one who came to check on her. That makes her cry harder, and she presses herself even closer to him. 

“I took a sleeping pill,” she blubbers. “But I still….”

“Those pills don’t work. They help you get to sleep but I find they only make the nightmares worse.” He pauses. “I’ll read to you again, if you want.”

“Hold me for a few more minutes?”

“Okay.” He holds her for a lot longer than a few minutes, but if it’s bothering him, he doesn’t show it. He just holds her and rocks her and strokes her hair until she pulls back and nods. “Better?”

She just nods again, and settles back against her pillows as he takes his post by the desk and begins reading fashion magazines. She doesn’t listen to the words, just his voice, and after a while she finally nods off.

.

They skip right over 5, where they’ll be ending the tour, and go straight to 4. 4 is considered a Career district, and it’s a welcome respite from the unrest in 6 and 7. There are actual smiles and applause in the crowd, and Rey finds her own smile coming a little more naturally as she accepts her plaque. 

“That went well,” Ben tells her as soon as the doors clang shut. 

She expels a little sigh of relief. “I think so, too.”

“It went  _ very _ well!” Cee trills. “Finally, people who have an appreciation for rhetoric!”

Rey doesn’t know how to point out that it isn’t the speech they liked so much as the Capitol darling saying it. She decides not to say anything.

Maz dresses her in a light gown of blue silk--it’s warm here in 4, and Rey doesn’t need a wrap. Artoo has his work cut out for him, applying a shimmering powder to her bare arms and shoulders. “I don’t know how you look so tan even in the middle of winter,” he complains.

“I’m outdoorsy.”

Artoo makes a face. “Obviously.”

Dinner is nice. The mayor of 4 has a sense of humor, and Rey finds herself laughing at some of his stories. She dances and beams at the camera, and when the night ends she isn’t bone-weary.  _ It will be okay _ , she tells herself as she climbs into bed.  _ The other districts will be a piece of cake, and then Snoke will see that the resistance isn’t a problem and I’ll be safe, everyone will be safe. _

She is so wrong.

District 3 is just as restless as 6 and 7. The people scream and shout, and Rey is in tears by the time the night is over. 

“Tomorrow and the day after will be better,” Ben says when he wakes her up that night. She was screaming again, and once again, Ben is the only person to come to her side. “1 and 2 are loyal to the Capitol, they’ll give you a positive response.”

“But is it  _ enough _ ?” Rey asks. “After everything else...will it be enough for Snoke?”

Ben hesitates, and that’s all the answer she needs. 

He’s right--1 and 2 give her an overwhelmingly positive response, but she can’t feel happy about it because they are the exception, not the rule. She sleeps fitfully the night they pass from 1 to the Capitol, terrified of what awaits her.

Artoo fusses over the bags under her eyes, complaining that he has his work cut out for him if she’s going to appear on Orson Krennic tonight. She looks fine, of course. More than fine--Artoo attaches miniscule crystals around her eyes, and Maz dresses her in an elegant purple gown. 

She is all smiles when Orson interviews her, gushing about her trip around Coruscant like it’s been some kind of thrilling party. Orson asks her a few inane questions--how she liked the food, what was her favorite part--and she responds gamely. And then, in some mad, last-ditch effort to win Snoke’s approval, she adds, “Everyone was so generous and welcoming in the other districts.”  _ Liar, liar, pants on fire _ . “It was so gratifying to see so many people united by a common purpose.”

“Oh?” Orson asks. “And what is that, Rey?”

She flashes a smile at the camera. “Peace.”

The Capitol audience sighs in admiration. They’re eating it up. She hopes Snoke does, too. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I updated a few days early because crossingwinter made a BEAUTIFUL graphic, which you can find over at my Tumblr. Which, by the way, is spacedarcy, and you should totally come bother me!
> 
> I know things are moving kinda slow now, but don't worry, this is a Hunger Games AU--that slowness won't last!
> 
> Questions/comments/concerns? Let me hear 'em!
> 
> Enjoy!

They spend the night in the tribute center. The last time Rey was here was six months ago during the games. Just the feeling of the elevator taking her up to their floor makes her stomach feel queasy.

“You were _marvelous_ ,” Cee gushes. “Simply _marvelous!”_

“You were somethin’, all right,” Han says, rolling his eyes. He and Cee don’t get along.

“Did it sound...patriotic...enough?” Rey asks nervously.

“Kid, you were a walking commercial,” Luke assures her. The elevator doors slide open and they get out. Everything looks much like it did six months ago--they all even have the same rooms. Rey passes by Jessika’s empty room with a twist in her stomach and moves on to her own, where Maz and Artoo help her undress and wipe the makeup off her face. Maz asks if she wants anything to eat, but Rey shakes her head.

“I just want a shower and eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.”

Artoo leaves, but Maz lingers, patting her hand. “It isn’t easy, this victor business,” she says softly. “But you’ve been so strong. So brave. And I am so proud of you.”

Rey blinks back tears, smiling down at the shorter woman. “Thank you, Maz.” She waits for Maz to leave, then turns on the shower until the water is scalding hot. She sits in a corner, letting the hot water lash over her, and when her skin is red and raw and throbbing, she turns it off, yanks on her pajamas, and tumbles into bed.

She can’t sleep. She couldn’t sleep in this room before, either, because she was either waiting for the games or reliving them. She tosses and turns, and finally gives up, pulling on her robe and padding out of her room. Maybe she’ll watch some mind-numbing television or crack open the alcohol she knows Han keeps here. She compromises, grabbing a bottle of red wine and moving out to the lounge. She freezes when she sees that someone has had the same idea as her.

It’s Ben, watching her interview with Orson. He pauses, looking at her expectantly. “Couldn’t sleep?”

She shakes her head.

“Well, I see you found my mother’s favorite vintage and occasional sleep medication.” He pats the couch cushion beside him.

Rey moves around the couch and plops beside him. He starts the interview over while she uncorks the bottle. She takes a deep swig and then hands it over to Ben, and she’s almost tickled when he takes an even bigger one. He really isn’t as bad as he led her to believe. Oh, he’d been awful to her during her games--that could not be denied. He thought she was brash and incompetent and it showed every time they interacted. He flat-out ignored her after she won, and that suited her just fine. If you had told her then that six months later she’d be sitting on a couch with Ben Solo, sharing a bottle of wine while they watched her own interview, she would have laughed.

“It’s predictably watered down,” he says, using the bottle to point to the screen. Rey watches as only snatches of her speech are aired, interlaced with Orson narrating her journey through Coruscant. He talks about how she won the games, and the screen shows a few highlights from the arena, choosing her most heroic moments. Then Orson goes on about the precious jewel from District 5 and the screen shows clips of her at dinners with the mayors, dancing and sparkling for the cameras.

“God, I look happy,” she says miserably, taking another swig.

The screen freezes on her laughing at a joke made by the mayor of 4, her head thrown back and genuine mirth on her face. The image zooms out and Orson’s grinning face appears on camera. _“And now, ladies and gentlemen, here she is--Rey Niima!”_

Rey watches herself glide out to the interview chairs, kissing Orson’s cheeks and waving at the audience. She’s so intent on watching herself that she doesn’t take the bottle when Ben offers. “I don’t remember saying most of this,” she confesses. “It all just sort of…spilled out.”

“Supposedly that’s the mark of a good interview,” he says, sounding as if he doesn’t believe it.

She does take the bottle from him then.

_“Oh? And what is that, Rey?”_

She rolls her eyes even as she says along with the TV version of herself, “ _Peace_.” Then she turns to Ben as Orson makes his closing remarks. “Why are you watching this?”

“Snoke will give you his answer tomorrow,” he says, taking the bottle back from her. “I just wanted to see how the interview went over.”

She sighs, settling back against the couch cushions. “I don’t know what else I can do. I tried--he has to know that.”

Ben doesn’t say anything to that, just shifts with the remote in his hand. “Do you want to watch something else?”

They find some stupid fashion program, the kind of thing Cee probably watches, and keep drinking. Rey doesn’t know how or when she passes out, but when she wakes up, it’s nearly noon and she’s in her own bed.

The rest of the suite is quiet--no one has to be anywhere until the party at the Presidential Palace tonight, and everyone is taking the opportunity to sleep in. She knows that Artoo, especially, must be glad of the lie-in, seeing as how he believes waking up before noon is bad for his health.

The rest seems to do all of them good--everyone is smiling and content as they graze throughout the afternoon, no one fussing to put on real clothes when they know they’ll just have to change in a few hours.

Sure enough, as the afternoon draws to a close, Rey is made over by Artoo, who’s so happy to be back and on his regular sleeping schedule that he won’t stop chattering. Rey finds she doesn’t mind it, content to let him fill her in on all the gossip he’s missed in his nearly two-week absence. Maz dresses her in a gown of deep blue covered with a sparkly violet netting. Her hair is pulled back into a complicated series of braids, and the look is completed with a ribbon around her neck and a large crystal ring on her finger.

She’s not the only one to look fabulous--everyone has cleaned up very nicely for the event. Cee, she can tell, tried very hard not to outshine his victors--but he’s still wearing the loudest gold suit she’s ever seen.

“The Presidential Palace!” he all but squeals as their car rounds the bend, bringing the palace into view. It really is one of the gaudiest things Rey has ever seen. “President Snoke isn’t much for parties, mind you, but his never fail to disappoint. Now, even though this is considered an informal celebration--”

Rey rolls her eyes-- _this_ is informal?

“--there will be cameras following you, so be sure to _smile_.”

Rey flashes him one just to prove she can do it.

People applaud her the whole way into the palace. She smiles and waves and even poses for a few photographs. People reach out to touch her as if she’s an animal at the market, and it takes all of her self-restraint not to throw them off. She’s relieved when Ben touches her back, gently steering her on while effectively blocking wandering hands. She wonders with a flash of hurt why Han, Luke, and Leia don’t step in, and she wonders too if this is another kindness that a thirteen-year-old Ben Solo wished someone had done for him.

The party is as magnificent as she envisioned, with spectacles around every corner. She tries to mind Cee about her eating, knowing she can be a bit sloppy. She takes a little of everything and only eats small bites, but it isn’t long before her stomach is fit to bursting.

“I can’t eat another bite,” she laments to Han.

“Take this,” he instructs, handing her a small, stemmed wine glass of clear liquid.

“What is it?”

“It makes you puke,” he says. “So you can keep eating.”

Rey is revolted, both at the idea of throwing up to make room for more food and the fact that Han offered it to her. She sometimes went days without real food at the orphanage, and while she knows Han was better off than her as a teenager, surely he still understands that people in the other districts are starving? Meanwhile, people in the Capitol are eating so much they have to throw it up to make room for more.

Leia appears at Han’s side, a woman who looks vaguely familiar to Rey in tow. “Rey, there’s someone I want you to meet. This is Amilyn Holdo--she’s the Head Gamemaker.”

Amilyn Holdo is a tall, willowy woman who looks to be in her forties. Her hair is dyed lavender, and she wears a dress to match. She smiles. “It’s an honor to meet you at last, Miss Niima,” she says, taking Rey’s hand. “You are the talk of the town these days.”

Rey smiles politely. “Thank you, Madam Holdo. So, Head Gamemaker? Are you working on the Quarter Quell yet?”

The Quarter Quell happens once every twenty-five years. It’s always a big deal; for the last Quarter Quell, they reaped twice as many tributes, and the Quell before that they made people in the districts vote on which tributes to send into the arena. Rey is genuinely curious about what new horrors will be unleashed in six months.

“Oh, yes,” Holdo responds. “That’s been in the works for years. It takes a long time to plan out each games, you know; transforming the arenas is only the tip of the iceberg.”

“You certainly make it look easy,” Rey says, for lack of anything better to say.

Holdo smiles. “That’s very kind of you. You must be excited about the opportunity to mentor this year’s tributes.”

The smile slips on Rey’s face. She hasn’t thought about that. Of course she should have--she’s a victor, which means that when the games roll around in a few months, she’ll not only have to watch two more children have their names plucked from the reaping bowl, but she’ll also have to coach them and try to keep them alive. But she knows the games, has been watching them all her life, and she knows that at least one of those children is going to die.

“Miss Niima, are you all right?” Holdo asks, furrowing her brow.

“I’m so sorry,” Rey says quickly. “I’m just a little...overstimulated.”

“Perhaps you could use some fresh air,” Holdo suggests. “Please, come with me.”

Rey can’t think of an excuse not to, so she lets Amilyn Holdo thread their arms together and lead her outside. The verandah is nice and cool, though Rey is positive there must be heaters for the weather to be this comfortable in the middle of winter.

“You don’t seem thrilled at the prospect of becoming a mentor,” Holdo says quietly.

Rey stiffens. “I don’t--”

“It’s all right. You’re not the only one.” Holdo glances around, and then leans in close. “You’re not the only one to volunteer for something you didn’t understand until it was too late. You’re not the only one who has a choice to make.” Her hand squeezes Rey’s. “May the odds be ever in your favor.” And with that, she disappears into the crowd, leaving Rey standing and staring after her.

Music chimes and everyone turns to the balcony, where a spotlight has captured President Snoke. He looks in his element, peering down at the masses. “On this, the last day of her tour,” he rumbles over the applause, “I want to welcome our victor--a young woman who embodies our ideals of strength and valor.” His eyes find Rey’s, rooting her to the spot. “Rey Niima inspired us all in the arena--and I know she will keep on inspiring us long after she is gone.”

Rey’s stomach plummets even as he raises a glass and everyone cheers. Fireworks fill the sky, beautiful kaleidoscopes of color, but Rey cannot tear her eyes from Snoke. He shakes his head, once, and then disappears into his house.

.

Rey panics the entire ride back to the tribute center. She doesn’t want to tell the others, especially when they’re being driven by an Avox. She knows the Avoxes can’t speak vocally, but that doesn’t mean they can’t still relay the things they overhear. She worries, too, about Cee and what he might do.

She waits until everyone has gone to bed and then creeps to Ben’s room, knocking softly on his door.

His surprise at seeing her is fleeting. Without a word, he ushers her inside, closing the door behind her and gesturing for her to take a seat by his desk. “You talked to Snoke?” he asks, perching on the side of his bed. It’s still made, and she feels a little relieved that she didn’t wake him up.

“Not really talked, but…” She shakes her head. “It didn’t work. He isn’t happy.”

There’s a pause, and then Ben murmurs, “I know.”

“You _know_?”

He splays out his hands. “He summoned me for a private audience and told me he wasn’t happy. The Resistance has only grown stronger.”

“I tried,” she says, anguished. “Did you tell him I tried?”

“Yes.” His voice is curt. “I told him about your efforts, but he was...unmoved.”

“He’s going to destroy District 5,” she says, shaking. “He’s going to kill everyone--”

Ben slides off the bed and onto his knees, taking her hands in his. “He is not going to destroy District 5.” He enunciates every syllable. “He threatened to do that only if you did not comply, and you complied.”

“But I _failed_ ,” she points out. “He isn’t happy--”

“He was never going to be happy.” Ben’s face, normally so difficult to read, is suddenly full of sorrow. “He was always going to punish you, one way or another. You got out of the arena when he didn’t want you to, so now he’s putting you through a different game, one he knows you can’t win.”

It takes a few minutes for Rey to comprehend what he’s saying to her. When she does, she throws his hands off of hers. “You _knew_ . You knew all along that it didn’t matter what I said or did because he was just going to punish me anyway. You made me believe I was _doing_ something!”

“You _were_ doing something,” he insists, but she shoves his shoulders, sending him onto his rear.

“You should’ve told me!” she hisses. “You should’ve _said_ something--”

“What should I have said?” he demands, no longer sympathetic. “You were scared out of your mind! It wouldn’t have done any good if I’d told you that Snoke will always find a way to make you pay.”

She’s terrified and angry and doesn’t know what to make of any of this. She sees now that she’s been foolish to believe she could change things, that any amount of patriotism would save her from the inevitable.

She’s just so _angry_ at Ben for letting her believe. She storms out of his room, but she’s too angry to try to sleep. She wanders around the suite, prowling restlessly, and decides that maybe a drink will calm her nerves. She finds the bottle from last night back in its place, corked so that no one will be the wiser. She takes the bottle and plops in front of the television in the lounge. She’s too irritated to watch Orson Krennic or any of the other inane Capitol shows, so she scrolls for something that fits her mood. She sees a highlight of the 74th Annual Hunger Games and her thumb hovers. She saw a compilation after she won, of course, but not since then.

Her thumb hits the play button, and she settles into the couch to watch.

Everything is almost exactly as she remembers it--running to the Cornucopia, beating off the twelve-year-old Career with her staff before grabbing a backpack and tearing off to the wastes. Digging for water and camping under a foil sheet. The first lizard she ate, too hungry to care. Seeing Jessika’s face in the sky under the fallen tributes. Saving Paige from the quicksand. The moment when she and Paige realized that they were the last two people left in the arena.

And then it gets to the part Rey doesn’t like to remember, the part that she blocks out of her head but finds her in her dreams anyway.

In the end, it was mutts the gamemakers sent after them. The muttations were horrendous things that chased them through the desert, trapping them atop the Cornucopia. The girls had enough rations and water to survive a day or two, but they knew that the gamemakers wouldn’t wait that long. Sure enough, the mutts grew stronger, and several of them managed to climb the Cornucopia. They threw everything they had at the mutts; one dug its teeth into Paige’s wrist and she dropped her knife, so Rey used her staff to knock the thing off the Cornucopia.

Rey watches herself on the screen, teeth bared and her face so full of hope and anguish at the same time. Then she watches a mutt come barrelling at her, and she watches, too, as Paige throws herself at it.

The Rey on the screen shrieked, dropping her quarterstaff and catching her friend. The mutts fell silent, sliding off the Cornucopia and sinking back into the sand. Rey hardly noticed then. She hardly notices now.

“Why did you do that?” she asked Paige, tears rolling off her cheeks and splashing on Paige’s shirt. “Why did you sacrifice yourself for me?”

Paige smiled up at her, her face pale but at peace. “Because you saved me. Remember?” Her bloody fingers came up to touch Rey’s cheek. “That’s how we win. Not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love.”

Rey’s vision is blurry with tears as she watches her friend die in her arms. The cannon sounds, and from somewhere in the skies, Amilyn Holdo announces the winner of the 74th Annual Hunger Games. Triumphant music plays, and the footage ends there. What it does not show is how Rey refused to let go of Paige, how she screamed and fought against the Capitol extractors until they gave up and let her drag Paige’s lifeless body onboard. They waited, she remembers, until the doors had shut and the cameras were off to tranquilize her. When she woke up, she was alone.

That’s how Ben finds her--curled up on the couch, hugging a pillow to her chest, eyes filled with tears. On the floor is the empty wine bottle. Her heart hurts too much to be angry, and she doesn’t have any fight left in her as he gathers her in his arms and carries her to her room. She falls asleep almost as soon as her head hits the pillow.

When she wakes in the morning, she is not alone--Ben is slumped in the chair by her desk.

.

They arrive in 5 that evening. Rey smiles and waves more out of reflex than anything as a crowd gathers at the station to welcome them home. Cee and Ben give her a new speech.

“I thought it would be more appropriate for your home district,” Ben says as he hands it to her.

She doesn’t say anything to him—she hasn’t since she stormed out of his room the night before. He is unreadable as always, but she likes to think that he feels sorry.

The reception in 5 is, thankfully, more manageable than the others. There is no uprising here, and the applause when Rey concludes her speech is genuine. They dine with the mayor and his wife, who are close friends of Leia’s, and Rey relaxes just a little. When the festivities draw to a close, she bids Cee, Maz, and Artoo goodbye. The Victory Tour is over and they are headed back to the Capitol.

“We’ll see you in six months, love,” Maz says gently.

Six months, when Rey will escort two children to the Capitol.

Something must show on her face because Maz turns to Luke. “Take care of this one, will you?”

Luke smiles, resting a fatherly hand on Rey’s shoulder. “I’ll do my best.”

 _It’s not me who needs taking care of_ , Rey thinks. _I’m the one who got us all into this mess_.


	5. Chapter 5

It isn’t that Rey misses the tour, it’s just. Well, her house is so...big. Empty. 

Lonely.

She’s always been lonely, but it was easy to pretend she wasn’t when she lived at the orphanage, sharing a room with a dozen other girls. But there’s no pretending here, in a house with more rooms than she knows what to do with. 

There’s a snowstorm, a big one, and Rey and the Skywalker-Solos are snowed in their houses for a few days. She wanders around the rooms in her house, aware of how sad and bare they are. She thinks of trudging across the street to Han and Leia’s house, or next door to Luke’s, but every time she thinks about it, she remembers Snoke’s disapproving head shake and she decides against it. At some point, Snoke is going to punish her, and it’s best if she doesn’t have to drag her only friends down with her. 

She’s curled up on her couch and watching television when someone pounds on the door. She keeps the blankets wrapped around her as she answers, and she can’t help smiling as she sees Luke.

“Come on, kid,” he says, inviting himself in. He stomps the snow off his boots. “You’ve been avoiding us. That changes now.”

Rey’s cheeks turn pink. “I haven’t been  _ avoiding _ you, I just…”

“What, couldn’t make a fifty-foot walk?” Luke isn’t buying it. “Come on, get dressed. We’re going to Han and Leia’s.”

Rey obediently puts on her winter things and then follows Luke across the street. Han and Leia are watching television in the living room, and watching with them is Ben. Han and Leia make a fuss over her, plying her with food and wine while they watch drivel. Ben doesn’t say anything, because of course he doesn’t, and Rey, who hasn’t entirely forgiven him yet, finds it easy to ignore him. She sits back on furniture that has been well-used and laughs with the others and eats and drinks until she can’t move. She leans back against the cushions and nods off, feeling safer and more content than she can remember feeling in a long time. Snoke and his threats seem so far away right now. Right now, she has a family.

.

The next few weeks pass in a white haze. It’s so calm and quiet in 5 that Rey thinks it must be this way all over Coruscant. Or maybe she doesn’t really think that, but it’s easier to pretend. 

She and the other victors are invited to the mayor’s house for a New Year’s Eve party. It’s a very small party, with a handful of prominent merchants and innovators joining them. 

Rey’s only been to the mayor’s house a few times and she gets lost trying to find the bathroom, poking her head into rooms to see if she’s found the right place. She doesn’t find the bathroom right away, but she does find the mayor’s study. She doesn’t mean to poke around, she honestly doesn’t, but there’s a holo projection above his desk showing hordes of people screaming and shouting. Rey freezes in the doorway, watching as Peacekeepers shoot at people and aim hoses at them. There’s fire all over the place, although she doesn’t know why, and someone close to the camera holds up a piece of white cloth. Painted on it in red is the mockingjay from Rey’s pin. 

She ducks out before she’s caught, her legs shaking as she moves down the corridor. People are still rebelling, and they’re using  _ her _ mockingjay pin as...what, a flag? They still see her as a symbol of resistance. And Rey really, truly does not know what to make of that.

So she finds the only person who she can tell.

He’s lurking in a corner, as always, nursing a drink and looking generally bored. She makes her way across the room to him, grabbing a champagne flute and trying to look casual. 

“I saw something,” she mutters when she draws close to him.

He frowns. “What?”

“The resistance.” She drops her voice as low as she can without sounding suspicious. “The mayor’s study door was open. There’s a riot happening in one of the districts. Peacekeepers are—“

Ben shakes his head, signaling for her to stop talking. He glances around the room and calmly turns so that he’s facing her, his back to the rest of the room. “Not here.”

“Where?”

He shakes his head. “Tomorrow. We’ll go for a walk.”

Of course—even if no one in the room is listening, there may well be cameras or microphones picking up their conversation anyway. Even their own houses aren’t secure. Better to talk outside. 

He knocks on her door the following morning. She’s tired, unable to sleep much the night before. She kept seeing the images from the holo replaying over and over in her head. She’s glad for the opportunity to tell Ben now, waiting for his signal that it’s safe to talk as they make the slow ascent up the mountain.

“All right,” he says at last. “What did you see?”

“There was a riot happening in one of the districts. I don’t know which one. Peacekeepers were gunning people down and spraying them with hoses. There was fire everywhere, too. And someone held up a white cloth with a mockingjay painted on it.”

Ben is quiet for a moment, absorbing it. Then he says, “I know.”

Rey gapes at him. “Well thanks for letting me in on the loop, friend!”

He sighs. “Rey, listen to me...there are things that I know, things that you  _ cannot _ know because they compromise your safety.”

“My  _ safety _ ?” She’s all but spitting with rage now. “I think it’s a bit late for that!”

“ _ Listen. _ ” He lowers his voice, wary of being overheard. “Yes, I’ve known about the rebellion. My whole family knows about it. We didn’t tell you because the more you know, the more danger you are in.”

“I’m already in danger—“

“You are in nowhere near the amount of danger you’d be in if you’d actively known about the Resistance, trust me.”

Rey bites her lip. “So...what does this mean?”

“It means you keep playing dumb. It means you do nothing to draw the Capitol’s suspicions. Snoke made you believe you had failed so that you’d behave. If he finds out you know about the Resistance beyond what you encountered on the Victory Tour, he really will come after you.”

“Wait, so he’s not coming after me at all now?” she asks with no small amount of confusion. 

Ben sighs. “It’s...complicated. And it isn’t made any easier considering how often he changes his mind. He may still come after you if he feels incensed enough to do it, or he may let it go. He’d be prudent to keep you and use you to quell the rebellions, but he isn’t always a prudent man.”

Rey’s head is spinning. “So what you’re saying is...anything could happen.”

He hesitates. “Essentially.”

“Why didn’t you say that in the Capitol?”

He gives her a sardonic look. “You didn’t seem to want to hear what I said in the Capitol.”

He’s right, but Rey isn’t embarrassed about it. She was angry. A lingering part of her still is. “How long do I have to play dumb?”

He shrugs. “As long as it takes.”

“Your bedside manner leaves something to be desired.”

He almost smiles. “I find it’s easier to take it one step at a time. Try to get through a week, a month, a year. Say things like, I just have to get through this Victory Tour, I just have to get through the next Hunger Games, and so on and so forth. It feels more...manageable.”

The next Hunger Games are still months away, but Rey nods her head. She can play dumb that long.

.

Only, it’s very hard to play dumb when Snoke is just being so  _ obvious _ . 

It’s only been a few weeks since Rey saw the holo in the mayor’s study when armored trucks roll up in 5, depositing what looks like hundreds of Peacekeepers.

“It’s the Resistance,” Leia says when she and Rey are out in the market. There has always been a Peacekeeper presence in 5, but they’re everywhere now. “The Capitol is afraid.”

Rey hears terrible things on her walks through town, and the rumors are confirmed the next time they dine with the mayor and his wife.

“People have disappeared in the night,” he says grimly. “We honestly don’t know if they’re running away or if it’s...something else.” Even here in his own home, he is afraid to say what’s really on his mind. 

Rey pretends that they are running away. It’s easier than imagining the alternative. 

The Peacekeepers, for their part, don’t really interact with the victors. They don’t even set foot inside Victor’s Village. Rey wonders if this is because victors are considered celebrities, Capitol darlings who are almost as important as Capitol citizens themselves, or if they have some bizarre orders from Snoke. 

Whatever the case, she doesn’t interact with any of them directly for a couple of weeks. 

She’s passing through the market when something happens. There’s a commotion on the other side of the square and people start running past her. She follows, curious, and sees a ring of people in front of the Justice Building. There’s a distinctive snapping noise, and Rey finds herself pushing forward. There’s a pole erected in the center of the ring, and tied to it is a boy who can’t be much older than her. Red keeps appearing on his bare back, and with a start, Rey realizes that one of the Peacekeepers is whipping him. She runs forward before she knows what she’s doing, skidding in between the boy and the Peacekeeper. 

“Stop it!  _ Stop _ !”

The Peacekeeper is not wearing a visor, so she sees his lip curl. “Out of the way, or you’ll get a lashing too.”

Rey grounds her heel into the dirt. “Why? I haven’t done anything.”

“You’re obstructing justice, girl.”

“ _ This _ is justice?” It’s Rey’s turn to curl her lip. All around her, people begin to murmur. 

“This is your last warning, girl. Move or you’ll get the same as him.” 

Rey doesn’t say anything, just juts her chin at him. 

With an easy flick of the wrist, his lash hits the side of her face, sending her sprawling on the ground. 

The crowd erupts. They let out shouts of indignation, running forward and converging on the Peacekeeper. Someone pulls her up and drags her out of the throng. As they stumble out, she sees that it is Luke. “Come on,” he grunts, moving her out of the town square. Peacekeepers and residents alike are running towards the commotion, and they pay no mind to the two people leaving it. They finally make it to the Victor’s Village, where Luke grabs her shoulders and gives them a shake. “What were you  _ thinking _ ?!”

“I wasn’t,” she admits. “I just got so  _ angry _ —“

“Your anger is going to cost that boy his life, and possibly yours too! We’ve got a riot on our hands after you told Snoke you’d do nothing to encourage rebellion!”

Hot, guilty tears stream down Rey’s cheeks. She didn’t  _ know _ , she didn’t  _ mean  _ for there to be a riot.

Luke sighs, the anger dissipating as he draws her into an embrace. “I’m sorry—you’re so young and so new to all of this, I forget. You just had me worried sick, that’s all.” 

Rey is too miserable to feel any better over this admission. He’s probably right—that boy she defended is almost certainly going to die. If this riot gets out of hand, many others may die, too. Rey thinks back to her meeting with Snoke and her stomach lurches. He promised that District 5 would go up in flames and she would be made to watch. Is this what he meant? 

She stumbles away from Luke and empties her stomach. 

“Come on,” he murmurs when she’s done. “Let’s get that cut taken care of.”

Rey nearly forgot about the lash her face received. She follows Luke to his house, where he treats the cut with a salve. She’s holding a cold compress to her face when Ben bursts in. 

“Uncle Luke, there’s a riot, I can’t—“ He stops short. “You’re here.”

Rey can only nod mutely. 

Ben’s eyes are wide and worried. He looks between them. “What happened?”

“I started the riot,” she croaks before Luke can say anything. 

“What did you do?” Ben asks with no small amount of trepidation. 

She tries to speak but the words don’t come. 

Luke pats her shoulder. “She stood up for a boy getting flogged in the market. Peacekeeper hit her and the crowd went berserk.”

“ _ Rey _ , you can’t—“ Ben starts to say, but Luke cuts him off. 

“She knows, and she’s learned a hard lesson today. We aren’t going to talk about it anymore.” 

Rey starts to cry again, overwhelmed at Luke’s gentleness. She doesn’t deserve it. She drops the cold compress and gets up. “Thank you for treating my cut,” she murmurs, grabbing her coat.

“Where are you going?” Ben demands.

“To my house.”

“Rey—“ Luke begins, but she flashes him a smile she doesn’t feel. 

“I’ll see you both around.” She walks out the door, her coat not even fully buttoned as she hurries back to her house. The riot can still clearly be heard in the town square, and it doesn’t appear to end until late that night. Rey listens to all of it, the screams and shouts and gunshots, and thinks,  _ This is my fault. I started this. People are getting hurt because of me _ .

She wonders if this was Snoke’s intention all along. 


	6. Chapter 6

No one comes for Rey. No Peacekeepers, no messages from Snoke. Logically, she knows that someone somewhere must have found out about her standing up to the Peacekeeper, but nothing ever comes of it. Maybe they understand the riot wasn’t her fault. Or maybe Snoke is just cooking up the perfect punishment.

It turns out to be the latter. 

They get word that the gamemakers have a special announcement to make regarding the Quarter Quell.

“Is that normal?” she asks Han and Leia when they finally convince her to join them for dinner. 

“For the Quarter Quell, yes,” Han confirms. He should know—he’s seen both of them. 

When the night that the announcement is scheduled to air arrives, the victors all gather at Han and Leia’s house. They are all curious and Rey doesn’t think she’s wrong in believing they’re nervous, too. They’d never say it, of course, but she can sense it. 

Orson Krennic is the one to make the official announcement. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he says, flashing his pearly whites at the camera. “Every year we eagerly anticipate the Hunger Games, but this year’s games will be unlike any other—because this year, ladies and gentlemen, is a Quarter Quell.” He goes into a bit of background, explaining the origin of the Quarter Quell and how they work. Rey chews her thumbnail the whole time, ready for him to go on and get it over with.

Finally, there’s a glint in his eyes. “I have the honor of announcing that for this year’s Quarter Quell, the tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors.”

There’s a pause, and then the audience begins reacting.

“The...existing pool?” Rey repeats, her voice sounding far away. “That can’t be right…”

“Oh, it’s right,” Leia says. Her own voice sounds detached. “We’re going to be reaped.”

The reality of what she’s just said comes crashing down. So this is it. This is what Snoke was planning all along. He didn’t want her to walk out of that arena, so he’s making her walk back in. 

“This is my fault,” she whispers. She stands abruptly, goes to the front hall.

“Rey!”

She ignores them, throwing on her boots and running out the door. She can still hear them shouting as she slams the front door. She jams on her coat, her face streaked with hot, angry tears. She isn’t even fully conscious of where her feet are taking her until she’s halfway up the mountain slope. She keeps going, panting from a combination of anger and effort. When she reaches the top, she kicks a hunk of ice and screams. 

It’s a brilliant move. Even in her rage, she can acknowledge that. Rey doesn’t have family or friends outside of her fellow victors, so Snoke decided to target them, too. And now, because of her, victors all over Coruscant are going to die. It’s even worse, she thinks, for the Skywalker-Solos, because if one of them dies, the whole family falls apart. 

And worst of all, there’s nothing she can do about it. Even if she slit her throat and gave Snoke what he wants, he’d still go through with the Quarter Quell. It isn’t as if they would say “oh no, a victor died, we’ll just have to rethink this Quarter Quell!” They would keep going, and then Leia would have to compete, and it isn’t as if she’s particularly spry. Leia would die, and Rey would have killed her. 

She’s still prowling restlessly when she hears someone coming. She expects Peacekeepers, so she’s surprised when instead of their white uniforms, she sees a black coat. 

“What?” she asks thickly.

Ben pauses to catch his breath. “It isn’t your fault,” he says at last.

“Of course it’s my fault,” she says. “You said Snoke was always going to punish me, didn’t you?”

“This isn’t just because of you. There are other, less destructive ways to kill you. The Resistance has been active since before you won the games, and if you died today it would still go on. Yes, you...spurred it into action,” he says quickly, seeing the look on her face. “But this isn’t just about punishing you. This is about making the people lose hope. When you win the games, you’re told you’re untouchable, that you never have to work or starve or fight for what you want ever again. If Snoke can take that away from us, imagine what he can do to ordinary citizens who never fought in the games.”

Rey’s stomach twists. He’s right—this is little more than a public execution. A demonstration, not unlike flogging that boy. 

And once again, Rey finds herself smack dab in the middle. 

“So that’s it, then?” She raises her arms and drops them again, as if to say, what the fuck. “Snoke gets what he wants and we all just...die?”

He hesitates. “For now.”

She rolls her eyes. “Fantastic.”

“We’ll figure something out.”

“Great. Well, you do that, then. Let me know when you come up with a plan, yeah?” She starts to move past him, but he grabs her arm before she can get away. 

“We  _ will _ figure something out,” he promises. 

“Sure,” she mutters, jerking her arm free and striding down the mountain. 

.

They decide very quickly that no matter whose names are drawn, Rey and Ben will enter the arena. They check with Cee to make sure there are no holds against them volunteering, and through his audible anguish, Cee assures them that anyone from the designated pool may volunteer. 

“Snoke wants me in that arena anyway,” Rey says grimly. “It’s not like the Capitol would object if I volunteer.” 

“And he’d want me out of the three of us,” Ben adds. “Since, no offense, but you’re not that young anymore.”

“No, it’s a fair point,” Han says uncomfortably. “That whole...losing a generation thing.”

Leia shows no such discomfort. “Okay. So Ben and Rey will go into the arena. Rey has the advantage of being the most recent victor, which means her survival instincts will be sharper than most.” She speaks almost to herself, as if she’s thinking out loud and not addressing four other people. 

“We’ll have to train,” Ben points out.

“We’re not allowed to train,” Rey says before she can help it. 

Ben gives her a sardonic smile. “And who’s going to stop us?”

“Yeah, fair point,” Rey mutters.

“You should study your competition,” Luke says. “I’ll ask Cee to give us recordings of all the Hunger Games with victors who are still living.”

So during the day, Rey and Ben train. The older adults all coach them, and sometimes Luke even joins them, claiming he could use the exercise. In the afternoons, when they’ve exhausted themselves, they watch the old Hunger Games. They take notes, picking apart how the victors used their skill sets to win. The closer they get to the games, the longer Rey spends in training, the more closely she analyzes the recordings. She can’t think about what’s going to happen. 

But as the snow melts and spring blooms, she knows she’ll have to face the inevitable. While she and Ben are running one morning, she says, “Listen, if we’re the last two left in the arena--”

He trips and nearly falls over.

“You okay?”

He falls back into step with her. “That’s not going to happen.”

“Yeah, well, it could,” she points out. 

“But it’s not going to,” he says firmly. “Just. I’m not even going to entertain the thought.”

“Well, that’s rather stupid,” she huffs. “Seeing as how I know exactly what it’s like to be one of the last two people in the arena when neither of you wants to kill the other.”

Ben winces. “Okay,” he says reluctantly. “If-- _ if _ that were to happen--you should kill me.”

“No. You have a family and if you died it would destroy them. I don’t have anyone.”

He actually scoffs. 

“What?”

“Nothing. Just…” He makes a gesture, but it’s hard to maintain while they’re running. “You’ve become the symbol of the Resistance but you don’t think you have anyone.”

She stops, forcing Ben to stumble to a halt and turn to face her.

“I never asked for this,” she says forcefully. “I didn’t refuse to kill my friend because I was trying to make a political statement. I didn’t want to kill her. That’s  _ it _ . And now people are scrutinizing my every move because they think I’m part of the Resistance, when all I want to do is live in peace.”

His gaze softens. “I’m sorry. I know this wasn’t your choice.”

She sighs and starts running again. He falls easily into step beside her. 

“I have an idea,” he says a few minutes later.

“Okay.”

He hesitates. “We pretend to be in love.”

Now it’s Rey’s turn to nearly trip. “We  _ what _ ?”

He hesitates again. “Just for the games.”

She snorts. “And then, what, we die tragically in the arena as star-crossed lovers?”

“Something like that.” 

She stops again, and he stops with her. “You’re serious?”

He nods, breathing heavily now that they’ve stopped. “There’s a popularity contest in every games, and this one is no exception. You may be the most recent victor, but there are others who did more to earn the Capitol’s affection. They will have no trouble finding sponsors to keep them alive.”

Rey frowns. “So...pretending to be in love will make us popular?”

“Have you seen the shit they watch? They’ll  _ eat it up _ . Two former victors from the same district with a forbidden love, doomed to die in the arena together or be torn apart for all eternity? That’s  _ exactly _ the sort of tripe they love.”

He has a point. Rey doesn’t like the Capitol shows, but this  _ does _ sound right up their alley. “That still leaves us with the problem of what happens if it’s just the two of us at the end of the games.”

He licks his lips. “We threaten to kill ourselves.”

She stares at him. “Now I know you’re just fooling with me.”

He shakes his head. “If we make the Capitol fall in love with our love, they won’t want us to die in the arena. Or, they will, but that presents a problem, because they’ll want a victor. Snoke will have to choose between two victors or none at all.”

Rey stares at him. “ _ Ben _ . This is  _ insane _ .”

His eyes flash. “So are the games.”

And, well, he has a point. She bites her lip. “I don’t know...it just seems like a long shot.”

“We don’t have to do it,” he says. “It was just a thought.”

But the more Rey thinks about it, the more she thinks that he has a point. She followed the other victors just like everyone else, had their trading cards and paraphernalia. She knows that she’ll be competing against her childhood heroes, as well as the childhood heroes of the entire country. There is nothing particularly lovable about Rey, and there is even less about Ben. It’s possible to survive without sponsors, of course--Rey didn’t get any until the very end of her games--but they can make all the difference, especially if they’re up against Capitol darlings who have a devoted fanbase. She doubts Snoke would ever let her walk out that arena alive, with or without Ben, but...it’s worth a shot, isn’t it?

She broaches the subject with Leia, because she trusts the older woman’s judgment. Leia is all for it.

“Ben’s right--it’s a shameless popularity contest. It may sound revolting now, but trust me, once you see how thick those Careers are laying it on…” She shakes her head. “It’s going to get you sponsors, trust me. It will also give you two more reason to look out for one another.”

Rey hesitates. “Ben thinks that if enough people buy our love story and if we end up being the last two people in the arena...then there will be this big public outcry. He thinks we should say we’d rather die than kill the other, and that the gamemakers would rather have two victors than none at all.”

“It’s a long shot, but it’s a shot.” Leia hesitates. “Can you promise me something?”

Rey sits up straight. “Anything.”

Leia takes the younger woman’s hands in hers. “Can you promise me you’ll look after him? He’s my only child.” Her voice breaks, just a little. “I know only one person will walk out...maybe he’s right and the both of you can walk out. But I know he can be...reckless. He needs someone to look after him, even if it’s just for a little bit.” She pauses. “I know it’s a lot--”

“No,” Rey says at once. “Of course I’ll look after him.”

She decides then and there that she will do as Ben suggests and pretend to be in love, if only to get him home to his mother. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm not gonna lie...I think this might be my favorite chapter. Or one of them, anyway. Hope you like it too <3 
> 
> Thank you for your kind words! You have no idea how much they make me smile <3

The morning of the reaping is a deceptively pleasant spring day. The usual anxious silence is replaced by apprehensive expectation. Everyone knows what’s going to happen.

It’s deathly quiet as the five of them march up the stairs, single-file, and stand behind Cee--Rey and Leia to one side, Ben, Han, and Luke to the other. 

“Welcome,” Cee says, looking uncharacteristically uncomfortable. He doesn’t waste time with pleasantries. “Now...it’s time to select our tributes. As usual...ladies first.” He reaches into the enormous glass bowl with only two folded slips of paper. His hand shakes as he pulls one out and flips it open. “The female tribute is…Rey Niima.”

Rey takes a step forward, beside Cee. She stares blankly out at the crowd.

“Now, for the male tribute.” Cee reaches into the other bowl, the one with three slips of paper. “Luke Skywalker.”

Ben immediately steps forward. “I volunteer as tribute.”

“Well.” Cee looks helplessly around the crowd. “I suppose all that remains--”

But he’s cut off when someone in the crowd raises their left hand in the rebel’s salute. In a moment, the entire crowd has raised their hands. 

Rey and Ben mirror them.

The Peacekeepers hustle them off the stage and into the Justice Building. They do not get the chance to say goodbye, but that’s all right--they have no one to whom they can say goodbye. They are jostled onto the train; Han immediately heads for the bar cart. After a moment’s deliberation, everyone follows him, even Cee.

“May I just say,” Cee begins, quivering, “that this is...completely unjust. You all have worked so hard and...and to just...throw you back in there…”

“It is what it is, Threepio,” Luke says grimly. He clinks glasses with Rey. “Drink up, kid.”

“Perhaps this is not an ideal time,” says Cee, “but I believe we ought to have a strategy meeting.”

Everyone is a little surprised to hear this from Cee, but they murmur assent and gather around the lounge seats, strong drinks in hand. Cee remains standing, apparently too anxious to sit. “I think first and foremost,” he begins, “we ought to think about gaining sponsors. Many of your competitors have had years to gain the public’s affection, but...with all due respect, Rey, you are very new to this, and Ben...you aren’t, er…”

“I’m not a fan favorite,” he says calmly. “It’s all right. I know. But Rey and I have a plan.”

“A plan?” Cee blinks. “Would you care to enlighten me?”

“A love story,” Leia says. 

“A  _ love _ story?”

“Ben and I will pretend to be in love. The Capitol will love it,” Rey says. 

Cee considers this. “It  _ is _ a good plan,” he concedes. “It’s never happened before. Friends have gone into the arena before, but...never lovers. I think you may be onto something.”

“We’ll announce it during our final interviews,” Ben decides.

Cee’s former anxiety is gone, replaced now by giddiness. “Oh, that will be  _ perfect _ ! I daresay you’ll be getting sponsors before the games even begin!”

Rey is relieved, at least a little, that Cee approves of the plan. He’s from the Capitol, so he knows the way they think better than anyone. 

They watch the reapings from the other districts so that they know who their competition will be. Glimmer and Hux from District 1. Phasma and Marvel from District 2. Glimmer and Marvel are the victors who won the year before Rey and the year before that; they are still fresh on the Capitol’s minds, and that gives them a popularity boost. They’re also younger than most of the other tributes, which gives them the advantage. Rey makes a mental note to watch out for them. 

From 3 are Jyn Erso and Bodhi Rook. Jyn is in her mid-twenties and would be pretty if it wasn’t for the bags under her eyes and the scowl on her face. Rey knows from watching Capitol TV that Jyn is the daughter of Galen Erso, a famous scientist who’s designed and built many weapons for the Capitol. He’s also one of the few people from the districts who lives in the Capitol permanently. As far as Rey is aware, Jyn doesn’t live with her father, and she wonders whether that’s by choice. Bodhi Rook, also in his mid-twenties, was considered something of a Wunderkind; he won his games about ten years ago by rigging a bomb that killed the remaining tributes. You’d never know it from the look in his wide, innocent eyes, though. 

District 4 is something of an anomaly because there are no female victors, only male, so they reap two men. The first is a blind man in his fifties named Chirrut Imwe. He’s always been a little...unorthodox (“Weird,” Han says definitively), but Rey admired him when she was a girl because his weapon of choice during his games was also a quarterstaff. She spent hours trying to recreate his moves, something that did not go unnoticed by the gamemakers when she presented her skill.

Before the second man’s name has left the escort’s lips, Baze Malbus, also in his fifties, steps forward to volunteer. He’s a friend of Han’s, old and gruff and cut from the same cloth. 

They show the clip of Rey getting called and Ben volunteering, and Rey notices that they cut out the part where the crowd raised their hands in a salute. 

The rest of the reaping is a blur of names and faces, people Rey remembers seeing on screens but never imagined she’d have to face in real life. Finally, they end with District 12, where the one and only victor, an attractive man in his twenties named Cassian Andor, is called. 

“At least that’s one less person we have to fight,” Rey mutters.

“Yeah, but it’s Cassian Andor, so really it’s like fighting two people,” Han supplies. Then, seeming to realize this was not the right thing to say, he hastily adds, “But, you know, he is only one person.”

It’s late before any of them head to bed, having spent all afternoon and evening going through the tributes. Rey hoped that the tactical analysis would help her navigate the games, but if anything, she feels even more distraught. She just can’t fathom going into the arena and killing any of them. But she’ll have to if she wants to get Ben back to his mother. 

.

There’s a whole team of stylists that await Rey and Ben when they step off the train. She zones out as they wax and wash her, sniffling all the while. Rey doesn’t know what to make of this display of emotion--she expected them to be thrilled at the prospect of the Quarter Quell. Perhaps they’re only going to miss her until she gets inside the arena, and then their distress will turn into excitement. She comes back to earth when Maz enters to dress her, dismissing the other stylists. 

“What’s it going to be this time?” she asks, far too cheerfully. Last year, Maz dressed her and Jessika in matching gowns of beaded lights. 

“It’s a surprise.” Maz helps her into a translucent gown that is not quite white. It’s thick and feels odd when Rey touches it. 

“Don’t do that too much,” Maz warns her. “There’s special coating on it.”

She completes the look with bands on Rey’s wrists and a circlet around her head. Her hair is loose and flowing, and the makeup around her eyes is dark and heavy. She is not a little girl anymore. 

Ben is dressed in a black suit with a flowing cape, and it looks as if it is made of the same material as Rey’s gown. There is a circlet around his head too, giving him a regal look. 

“I don’t understand how these costumes represent power,” he says patiently. 

Maz gives him a wink. “You’ll see soon enough.” She pats their chariot, the fifth in line. Ben helps Rey up, since her skirts are voluminous and the chariot is tall, and then climbs in after her. “All right--don’t panic,” Maz says. 

Rey opens her mouth to ask what she means, but she doesn’t get a chance because right at that moment, the chariots lurch forward. Rey grips the bar in front of her, staring determinedly ahead. The crowd is enormous and the cheers are deafening as the tributes ride forward in a neat line. On giant screens, Rey can see the victors from 1, 2, 3, and 4, and then it’s her and Ben’s turn. She blinks for a moment, not recognizing the people in front of her because they are  _ on fire _ . She looks down at herself and is amazed to see that she wears a dress of blue flames. The bands around her wrist are also flaming, and when she looks at the screen again, she sees that her circlet has turned into a crown of blue flames. She glances at Ben and sees that his black suit is the same, but the circlet around his head and the cape flowing behind him have turned to flames so dark they appear red. Ben sees her looking and holds out his hand. Wordlessly, she takes it, and they raise their joined hands for the crowd to see. 

The Capitol audience goes wild, stamping and screaming as they see the flaming victors from District 5 looking less like tributes and more like a divine king and queen. Even Snoke looks begrudgingly impressed as their chariot draws close. 

_ That’s right, you old bastard, _ Rey thinks.  _ You wanted a spectacle, and you’ve damn well got one. _

When the chariots pull up in front of the tribute center, the flames extinguish themselves. Rey is almost disappointed--the flames make her feel powerful. Untouchable. Without them, she’s just Rey. 

After Ben and Rey change, they gather around the TV to watch the presentation of the tributes. Orson can’t stop singing his praises of the “fiery” victors from District 5, nearly skipping over 6 and 7 in his amazement. It’s good and bad news; while they’ve won the hearts of the Capitol and will have assured sponsors now, the other tributes will be quick to gang up on them. 

“You need to make allies,” Luke tells them.

“No,” Ben says. “We don’t.”

Leia sighs. “Honey, I know you have...reservations, but--”

“I’m not making allies,” Ben says flatly. And before anyone can argue with him, he gets up and storms out of the room.

“I don’t understand,” Rey says. “Why doesn’t he…?”

The others exchange looks. 

“Did you see his games?” Han asks, rubbing his chin. 

Rey thinks for a moment. “I’m not sure. I know I’ve seen clips, but…”

“He was part of an alliance,” Luke says. “It was him, the two tributes from 7, and the girl from 5. They were all older than him, and he woke up one night to find them all standing over him with knives. They’d decided to pick him off.”

“How did he get away?” Rey asks in a hushed tone. 

“It was nighttime and they were in a marshland.” Leia gets up, pours herself a drink. “He was small. Fast. He hid until they gave up. He kept hiding until they were the only ones left.”

“And he killed them,” Rey says, half-realizing, half-remembering. “He killed the three of them and that’s how he won the games.” She remembers the clips that the Capitol shows, of thirteen-year-old Ben poised over the girl from his district, her head a bloody, pulpy mess as he hits it again and again with a rock, even after the cannon sounds. Rey lets out a shaky breath. “So...that’s why he doesn’t want to be in an alliance.”

“Yes. But Rey,” Luke looks at her, pleading. “You  _ need _ an alliance to survive. Last year was child’s play compared to what’s in store for you. Every single person in that arena has survived their games, and some of them were more active in their victory than others. They will not hesitate to kill you if it means they get to go back to their lives.”

“You have to convince him,” Leia agrees. “If you frame it such that  _ you  _ want allies, he’ll be much more amenable.”

“Me?” Rey frowns. “Why would he do anything for me?” 

Han, Luke, and Leia exchange looks. 

“Just trust us,” Han says. “He’ll listen to you a lot quicker than he will any of us.” 

Rey doesn’t understand the logic behind this--she and Ben have never been close. Why would he listen to her over his parents? 

She can’t sleep that night. She tosses and turns, and gives up after a couple of hours. She decides to watch TV for a bit, but the only thing on is related to the games, speculating on who will win and showing clips of previous games. Rey has no desire to see powdered and painted people who have never known hardship speculating on her odds of winning, so she flips around for a while. She sees the preview of one of the Hunger Games and realizes that in all their furious studying, she and Ben never came across this one. Curious, she selects it--and soon understands why they never watched this one.

The video is of Ben’s games. 

She thinks about watching something else, wanting to respect Ben’s privacy--but as soon as she catches sight of the thirteen-year-old boy with the saddest eyes she’s ever seen, she can’t tear herself away. There’s so much pinned on him, the son of two victors and nephew of a third. He’s young, Orson Krennic keeps saying, but he’s fierce, and it’s in his blood. As if killing other children to survive is something Ben would choose to do. 

The alliance forms quickly and without fuss--the other three want Ben Solo on their side. They stay low, they kill a stray tribute or two, and Ben receives a flood of gifts from sponsors. Viewers in the Capitol want to see him win, want the happy family reunited, and they see to it that Ben has everything he needs.

The decision to turn on him happens exactly like their alliance--quickly and without fuss. One moment they are wishing him good night, the next, they are gathering their weapons. He wakes up to see them standing over him, knives and rocks at the ready.

It’s a miracle that he gets away. They hurl rocks at him and the girl from 7 shoots one arrow after another, but he is small and quick and darts from one shadow to the next. He runs most of the night, and they give up after startling the pair from 3 and picking them both off. Ben uses the distraction to get away, breathing hard as he finally finds a resting place. 

It’s only a couple of days later when most of the tributes are dead, leaving the alliance of the girl from 5 and the two from 7 against the Careers. Ben’s old alliance overpowers the Careers, and they’re all beating to death the boy from 1 when Ben slithers forward like a shadow. The other three hear the cannon go off and cheer, and Ben takes the opportunity to charge from his hiding place and buries his knife into the back of the girl from 5. 

Her eyes are wide and horrified as he yanks the knife out and turns to the two from 7. The girl from 7’s hands shake as she tries to aim an arrow, but he knocks the bow from her hands and shoves the knife into her throat. The boy from 7 yanks him off, wrestles him to the ground, but Ben takes one of the bloody rocks they used on the boy from 1 and slams it into the boy’s head just as the cannon booms for the girl from 7. The boy falls over and Ben raises it again, bringing it down with such force that the boy’s head caves in. Another cannon booms.

Ben turns to see the girl from 5 sprawled on the ground, looking at the blood coming from her chest in horror. He crawls over to her, the rock still in his hand, and sits on her chest as he turns her head into a horrible, pulpy mess. The cannon goes off, which rarely happens for the last fallen tribute because everyone knows the truth by then, and Rey wonders if it’s a warning to Ben, urging him to stop. But he doesn’t; he keeps beating until he’s gasping for breath, until he’s so covered in blood that he’s a mass of red and black. He sits back, tilts his head up to the skies as he takes a deep breath. The head gamemaker announces him the winner of the 59th Annual Hunger Games. 

The room goes quiet as the recording ends. Rey feels it, feels someone else there, and whips around. 

It’s Ben.

He’s looking at her with another unreadable expression, but Rey can sense that he is not in a good mood.

“Ben--”

He takes a step forward and she goes quiet.

“Well?” he prompts, his voice cold as ice. 

She swallows. “I couldn’t sleep--”

“So you watched my games. Very logical.”

She feels hot with shame. “It wasn’t...I didn’t come in here with the intention of watching it…”

“And yet, here you are.” 

She frowns. “I told you I didn’t mean to. And anyway, you’ve seen my games--what’s wrong with me seeing yours?”

He breaks his gaze. “You’re right. Forgive me.”

He’s acting so... _ strange _ , even for Ben. It makes her uneasy. “So this...is why you don’t want to be in an alliance.”

He jerks his shoulders. “Sooner or later, alliances fall apart. Everyone knows that.”

“But there’s a reason people form them,” she points out. “Look how many victors are from the Career districts. It’s because they always form alliances.”

“This isn’t just another game,” he snaps. “This is the  _ Quarter Quell _ \--everything will be different.”

“Which is why we  _ need an alliance _ ,” she stresses. “Everyone’s already going to resent us for getting sponsors--we’ll be the first two they go after if we don’t make friends.”

He sneers. “ _ Make friends _ ? This isn’t--”

“I want an alliance,” she says stubbornly. “And that’s final.”

He looks angry and befuddled all at the same time. “Fine,” he says at last. “If it’s what you really want.”

She nods. “It is.”

His hand flexes. “Fine.”

She feels guilty, somehow, because it’s apparent that he doesn’t really want an alliance. “Besides,” she adds with a candor she doesn’t quite feel, “If it’s just the two of us and we really are trying to sell this love story, we’d have to spend an awful lot of time making out.”

He leaves the room abruptly. Rey doesn’t know what to make of it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! This is gonna be one of the longer chapters, so I hope you're ready! This is also going to feature a fair amount of the Rogue One squad, so I hope you're ready for that, too. 
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the kind words--y'all make my day!!

Rey comes down late to breakfast, tired from staying up so late. Ben looks tired, too, but considerably more composed than her. 

“We should talk allies,” Cee says as soon as she sits down. She glances at Ben. Ah. So they know he’s agreed to an alliance.

“All right,” she says as gamely as it is possible to be under the circumstances. “I don’t know the others very well...Ben…?”

He shrugs. “I don’t have much of an opinion.”

“Try to get to know them in training,” Luke encourages. “Ben will guide you.”

Ben snorts, as if he has no intention of doing such a thing.

Training is supposed to start at ten, but only a handful of the other tributes are there. None of the trainers seem surprised. 

“Keep a low profile,” Ben murmurs in her ear. “The less attention you draw, the less likely you are to get a throwing knife in your back.”

Rey nods and makes for the least competitive station she can find—knot-tying. The trainer is happy to have someone— _ anyone _ —at his station and shows her more knots than she could ever hope to use. She’s just gotten her fingers tangled in another knot when a pair of hands reaches in and feels the snarl. She looks up to see Chirrut Imwe, his crystal-blue eyes looking entirely serene. 

“My father made nets,” he says as his fingers curl over hers and he shows her how to complete the knot. “I’ve been tying knots like these for as long as I can remember.”

“Well,” Rey says, “if I need a net during the games, I’ll be sure to find you.”

He drops her hands. The rope is in a perfect knot. “They tell me you’re good with a quarterstaff.”

Her face gets hot. It would be churlish to disagree, but she learned everything she knows from watching Chirrut. “I learned from watching you,” she blurts. “You were always my favorite.”

Chirrut’s smile grows. “Show me what you’ve learned.”

It takes a moment for Rey to realize that he means to spar with her. “But,” she begins, her face growing hotter. 

“But I’m blind?” he ventures. “I learned to do many things before my sight went, and I never forgot them. I can still kick your ass.”

Rey laughs. “We’ll see about that.”

There’s no line for the sparring rings, and in a matter of seconds, both tributes have quarterstaffs. Rey hesitates, unsure how to initiate a fight with a blind opponent, but Chirrut has no such reservations. He charges at her, his staff swinging in a horizontal arc. Rey ducks just in time, nearly losing her balance. Chirrut turns, the picture of composure, and waits. Rey grits her teeth and charges. Not only does he sidestep her as calmly as if he does this every day, but he also brings down his staff, knocking her feet out from under her. She sprawls on the ground. 

“Still afraid to hurt me?” 

She gets up and charges at him again. Their staffs clash with a satisfying slap. Rey gives one hard push forward and Chirrut stumbles back. He swings his staff in a diagonal; she catches it with her own staff. He kicks her feet out from under her again and vaults over her. She’s on her feet again in an instant, meeting his charge with a furious shout. She manages to knock  _ him _ down this time, but in another moment she’s on the ground beside him. He straddles her, his staff clashing against hers, but she rolls them over so that she’s straddling him. With the flick of his wrists, he’s sent her tumbling forward, landing hard on her back; she scrambles to her feet just in time for him to bring his staff sailing down. He has the advantage, pressing her backward as their staffs clash again and again. Her back is nearly against the ropes when she ducks, spinning around behind him. Chirrut is quick to follow her, his staff rising to meet hers just in time. She advances and he retreats, and just as she thinks she has the advantage, he pushes her back. Where she is panting and sweating, Chirrut is as serene as he was when he was helping her untangle the knot. Rey wonders how a person can be so calm at a time like this.

Her musings cost her—his staff smacks her hand and she drops her staff. She bends to retrieve it, but the tip of his staff is at her throat. 

“Yield?”

She breathes heavily. Her hand grasps her staff and she swings it up, knocking the staff from his hand. Chirrut surprises her by grabbing hold of her own staff and twisting. For a brilliant moment, she tumbles through the air—and then she lands hard on her side, gasping. 

The tip of her staff is at her throat. “Yield?”

“Yield,” she croaks, wondering if her bones are broken.

There’s a noise, and when Rey looks up she realizes all of the tributes are watching. Even the ones who weren’t there when they started are here now, ogling her prone form. 

Chirrut holds out a hand, and Rey grudgingly takes it. He pulls her easily to her feet, and then bows before her. Rey awkwardly bows back. Chirrut climbs out of the ring and Rey stumbles out after him. 

“Are you all right?” Ben asks quietly. 

She nods. “I just need to sit for a bit.”

Ben sits with her at the rest station, both of them drinking the electrolyte drinks the trainers give them. Rey is sore all over, but the trainers tell her it’s just bruising. 

“Well, that was embarrassing,” she grumbles.

To her surprise, Ben smiles.

“What?” she demands. “You think it’s funny?”

“I think it’s funny that you can’t see what was happening.”

“What, that he kicked my ass?”

Ben’s smile broadens. “He was feeling you out. He can’t see with his eyes, so he had to see you his way.”

“Well, he could’ve seen me a little more gently,” she grumbles, but she understands what Ben is trying to say. It’s one thing to hear about her from other people, but it’s quite another to actually fight her. She wonders what Chirrut sees in her. 

“He did you a favor,” Ben goes on. “By  _ kicking your ass _ , as you say, he humbled you. The other tributes like to see that. They’ll be more likely to make friends with you now.”

He’s not wrong. She doesn’t feel like exerting herself after her bout with Chirrut, so she hobbles over to one of the easier stations--learning to build a fire. She already knows how to build a fire, having learned this particular skill last year, but it’s the least strenuous activity in the training center so she does it again. It takes a long time for the kindling to take, but when it does she feels a small sense of satisfaction. She looks up and sees that she isn’t alone--kneeling across from her is Bodhi Rook, the child genius from District 3. He’s struggling with his kindling, and after a moment, Rey takes pity on him. 

“Here,” she says, moving closer to him. “Try moving your hands down.”

He looks surprised at her suggestion, but he gives it a try. A faint wisp of smoke curls out from where the wood meets and he looks up at her with a pleased smile. “It worked!”

She smiles back. “You’re Bodhi Rook, right?”

He nods. “Yes. And you’re Rey Niima.”

“Yeah.” 

“Chirrut really kicked your ass,” he comments.

Rey sighs. “Yeah.”

Bodhi smiles at her. “You were good, though. If it’d been anyone else in there with you, you would’ve won.”

“Thanks.”

Bodhi glances around and then shifts closer to Rey. “I build a lot of technology for the Capitol--I don’t know if you knew that.”

Rey blinks. “I...think I heard something about that.”

He shrugs, looking invested in his kindling. “I have special access to things most people don’t.”

Her arms have erupted in goosebumps. “Really?”

“Uh-huh.” His eyes flicker around the room and then return to his kindling. “I saw the footage of you in 5. Defending that boy.”

Rey swallows. “Oh?”

Bodhi’s eyes lock on hers. “Did you know him?”

Rey shakes her head. “No. I just...couldn’t stand by and let it happen.”

Bodhi’s lips quirk. “Good.”

She doesn’t know what to make of this, but she doesn’t have to think much more on it because Jyn Erso stomps over at that moment.

“Building fires?” she asks, plopping down beside Bodhi. “That’s ironic.”

Rey tenses. “Why?”

Jyn tosses her head. “Because half of Coruscant is on fire already,” she says smoothly. “I’m sure you’ve seen it.”

“I saw the unrest in your district,” Rey says cautiously. 

“You know what just...fucking sucks?” Jyn starts to work on her own kindling. “As soon as I became a legal adult, they took my father to the Capitol. I was very mouthy, you know.” She works furiously. “Everything I do goes back to him. So once a year I let them take me out and parade me, and in exchange I get to see my dad, alive and unharmed. I do everything Snoke asks, I don’t get involved in those  _ fucking _ riots, and you know what happens? I get fucking reaped for this  _ fucking _ Quarter Quell anyway. How do ya like them apples?” 

Rey leans forward. “I did everything Snoke asked me to, too,” she says quietly. “I never meant for any of this to happen.”

Jyn snorts. “I’m sure. And yet, here we are.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t exactly see you doing anything to put down the rebellion in 3.” Rey stands up. “I’m sorry we’re all here, I am, but hating me isn’t going to get you out of here.” She starts to leave.

“No,” Jyn calls after her. “But killing you might help me get out of that arena.”

Rey just keeps walking.

“Don’t stress about Jyn,” Ben says when they break for lunch. They’ve taken a corner apart from the others, who are all hanging around each other like old friends. “She’s feeling you out too.”

“Why does everyone have such weird ways of feeling me out?” Rey complains. “Not once has someone just...looked me in the eye and asked me how I feel about the Resistance.”

Ben snorts. “Well, that wouldn’t be very smart of them if they did.” He’s interrupted by Bodhi, who stands over their table, his hands clutching his meal tray. 

“Is it...all right if I join you?” 

Ben and Rey look at one another.

“Of course,” Rey says, pulling out a chair for Bodhi. “Please.”

He sits beside her, his eyes darting nervously to Ben. “Hi, Ben.”

“Hello,” Ben says, his face an unreadable mask. 

Bodhi turns to Rey. “I’m sorry about Jyn.”

She shrugs. “It’s okay, I get it.”

“She was an asshole,” Bodhi says. “She’s my best friend, but she’s not good with people. She does like you.”

Rey snorts. 

“It’s true,” Bodhi insists. “She really wanted to get to know you before this whole…” He gestures vaguely. 

Rey grunts noncommittally into her food. Ben twitches across from her. He  _ despises _ her eating habits. He clears his throat, but Rey just keeps eating as if she’s never learned table manners. He kicks her under the table and Rey’s mouth opens in shock. Ben gives her an intense look and jerks his head at Bodhi, who’s squeezing condiments on his sandwich. 

Rey understands. She keeps her eyes on her food as she casually probes, “Do you know the other victors very well?”

Bodhi shrugs. “I know them, not really friends with a lot of them.”

“You and me both,” Ben mutters, and perhaps he didn’t mean for Bodhi to hear, but he does and flashes a knowing smile at Ben.

“Yeah, some of them can be...pretty hard to stomach. Especially the Careers.” Bodhi pauses as he munches his food. “Except for most of the District 4 victors.”

“Like Chirrut?” Rey asks, thinking back to her sparring session with the other man.

“Yeah, like Chirrut,” Bodhi agrees. “He and Baze are good people.”

Rey glances up at Ben. He gives a nod so imperceptible it might just be a muscle spasm.

“Cassian’s also a good person,” Bodhi continues. “He’s like Jyn, where he seems like an asshole but really he’s all right.”

“The only victor from 12, right?” Rey asks.

Bodhi nods. “He doesn’t really have anyone at home,” he says. “I think he forgets how to act around other people.”

Great; another Jyn. But Ben gives her a look, and she nods once at him.

When lunch is over, Rey makes a point of stretching, but really she’s scoping out the room. All of the tributes are here now and the room is fuller. Louder. She looks for Cassian, but he surprises her by appearing in front of her.

“Mind if I stretch with you?”

She nods, dumbfounded, and watches as he drops to the mat beside her, stretching his torso. “So. Rey Niima.”

“So, Cassian Andor,” she says, unsure of where this is going.

“I watched your games.”

“I watched yours.”

He smiles, then shifts. “Help?”

She allows him to line up their bodies so that the soles of their shoes are pressed against each other; he takes her hands and they take turns, leaning back, then forward, using each other to deepen the stretch. 

“I came over here to thank you,” he says while she’s leaning forward.

She furrows her brow, leaning back. “Thank me?”

He tugs and she leans forward. “What you did for Paige…”

Oh.

“I’ve never seen that much compassion in the games before,” he says with glaring honesty. “You cared about her.”

“I really don’t want to talk about her right now,” she says in a thick voice.

He shrugs, releasing her hands. “Okay. I’ve said my piece.” He stands up. “May the odds be ever in your favor, Rey Niima.” He gives her a salute, touching three fingers to his temple and then raising them in a rebel salute. Rey’s eyes widen, but he’s already walking away, whistling.

.

“So?” Luke prods as they sit around dinner. Rey and Ben exchange glances.

“I want Bodhi,” she says without preamble. 

“Bodhi Rook?” Leia considers. “He’s the one who rigged a bomb in his year, isn’t he?”

Han glances at his son. “Ben?”

“I think he could be a valuable ally,” Ben says in a maddeningly neutral tone. “Especially if he’s able to rig another bomb.”

The adults exchange glances--clearly, they are relieved. 

“Okay,” Luke says. “Anyone else?”

Rey isn’t sure of anyone else, and she knows Ben won’t be of any help. She’s trying to think of an answer for Luke when Cee bursts into the room. “You won’t believe it!” he cries, fanning himself. “You simply  _ won’t _ believe it!”

“Cee,” Leia says sternly.

“Everyone wants Rey as an ally!” Cee exclaims. “I mean  _ every single tribute _ ! Their mentors were all  _ clamoring _ to ask me!”

“ _ All _ of them?” Rey repeats in surprise. “Even Jyn Erso?”

“Believe me, Jyn Erso was quite clear that she wants you as an ally.”

Rey flops back against her chair. Well, that eliminates the headache of who she can trust. Or...does it? What if this is all an elaborate ruse to lure her into a false sense of security and then kill her? “Should I have any reason to suspect they’re not being entirely sincere?” she asks the room at large. 

“Not that I can think of,” Luke says.

Rey considers this. “How long do I have to decide?”

“You have tomorrow and the day after before you have to formally make a decision,” Cee says, businesslike again. 

“I’ll think about it,” she says at last. 

And she does—she thinks about everyone asking for her to be their ally even though most of them haven’t even spoken to her. Some of them  _ still _ don’t speak to her on the second day of training, as if they don’t want anyone to know they like her until they’re in the arena. 

“I don’t know what to make of it,” Rey tells Ben at lunch. “I’ve tried getting to know all of them but they’re so...cagey.”

“Can you blame them?”

“No, but how am I supposed to know which people I want to ally myself with if they won’t show me who they are?”

He shrugs. “You don’t have to like them, just...like the things they can bring to an alliance.”

She furrows her brow. “That seems a bit…”

“Harsh?” He shrugs again. “That’s how alliances are formed.”

Rey remembers his own alliance and bites her lip. “Don’t you care about any of this at all?” She hesitates. “Or do you even want to stick to our original plan? Do you want us to split up when we get to the arena?”

His eyes widen. “Rey,  _ no.”  _ He leans forward, looking uncharacteristically earnest. “I want us to stick to the original plan. I just don’t care about any of these people.”

“Why  _ not _ ?” she presses. “Don’t you have an opinion about  _ any _ of them? These are going to be our allies.”

“Yeah, and then we’re going to have to kill them,” he points out. 

She sighs. “I know, it’s just...I feel like you’ve thrown me to the lions here. You aren’t helping me at all.”

His eyes flash. “I’m doing  _ plenty _ .”

“Really?” she snaps. “Like what?”

The angry look leaves his eyes and he slumps back against his seat. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m just...very stressed about this whole situation.”

Rey doesn’t have much time to think about his sudden change in behavior because at that moment, Bodhi and Cassian appear at their table. 

“Mind if we join you?” Cassian asks, already dropping his tray beside Rey. 

“Uh, sure,” Rey says. 

“Thanks.” Cassian begins unwrapping his utensils. Bodhi offers Rey an apologetic smile as he takes the seat beside Ben. “Hope we weren’t interrupting anything,” Cassian continues. 

“We were just making heartfelt declarations of love,” Rey deadpans. 

Cassian laughs. “Right. Looked more like a lover’s spat to me.”

“What do you want?” Ben grinds out.

Cassian shrugs. “To bother you.”

“Well, you’ve succeeded.”

“Why do you want to be my ally?” Rey asks bluntly. 

Bodhi’s eyes widen. “We’re not really supposed to—“

“What are they gonna do? Kill me?” She turns back to Cassian. “Well?”

Unlike Bodhi, he doesn’t look surprised. “Because I like you. And respect you. And because it’s what Paige would have wanted.”

Rey’s eyes drop back to her tray. “Oh.”

“I think we should drop the subject,” Ben says firmly. 

“Maybe you two are lovers,” Cassian says to Rey. “Your boyfriend here is looking a little jealous.”

Rey’s eyes flicker to Ben, who does indeed have a disgruntled look on his face. He probably, she thinks, just doesn’t like Cassian. Which is too bad, because Rey thinks she might just want Cassian for an ally after all.

.

It’s near the end of the day when Chirrut Imwe drops a quarterstaff in front of Rey. 

“Let’s see what you’ve learned since yesterday.”

Rey is not looking forward to the inevitable ass-kicking that’s headed her way, but there’s little she can do about it without looking like a coward. She takes the staff and joins Chirrut in the ring. Most of the tributes look up and Rey tries to ignore them. She gives the staff an experimental twirl, watching Chirrut as he does the same. When he lunges for her, she spins out of the way. He lunges again and she spins again. 

“Scared?” Chirrut asks.

Rey doesn’t answer, because she knows he’s just trying to get a sense for where she is. She remains still, moving only when he moves. His staff lashes out like a snake pouncing on prey; her own staff comes up to meet his, the clacking reverberating through her whole body. Their staffs meet once, twice, three more times.

“Your breathing gives you away,” Chirrut says. 

Rey’s surprised, but she works on shallowing her breath. She moves slowly, doing her utmost not to give her opponent any giveaways. Chirrut still kicks her ass when all is said and done, but she isn’t as sore this time, and when she yields, it’s with a grudging smile on her face. She graciously accepts his hand; he tugs her up and then holds her in place while he whispers in her ear. “I see something in you, Rey Niima.” Then he lets her go, finding his way out of the ring. 

Training is over for the day. Rey joins the others as they head up to their respective suites. As soon as she and Ben exit the elevator, she turns to him and says, “I want Chirrut.”

He considers. “You want the blind man as an ally?”

“He may be blind, but he’s one of the most capable fighters I’ve ever seen.”

Ben shakes his head. “He’ll be a liability.”

When Rey proposes the idea over dinner and Ben shares his objections, Han laughs in Ben’s face.

“Chirrut Imwe is  _ not _ a liability,” he says, pouring a generous helping of pepper over his food. “Even if Baze wasn’t glued to his side, I’d pity whoever pissed him off. He’s a good ally, but you’ll have to take Baze too--they’re a package deal.”

Rey looks to Ben. He shrugs, indifferent once more. 

“All right,” she agrees. “Chirrut and Baze.”

“Anyone else?” Leia prods.

Rey hesitates. She hasn’t spoken to Ben about this one and she doesn’t think he’ll be happy about it. “Yes. I want Cassian.”

Ben’s fork falls to his plate with a clatter. “Absolutely not.”

“Why not?” she demands. “He’s capable, he’s loyal—“

“ _ Loyal _ ?” Ben exclaims as if he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. “You believe that crap he fed you about Paige?”

“Why not?” she snaps, not a little worried that maybe Ben is right and Cassian was only using her. 

“He’s a flirt, he only says things to get what he wants!”

“A  _ flirt _ ?”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Please, he has you eating out of the palm of his hand. If anyone’s going to turn on us, it’ll be him.”

“Bodhi seems to trust him.”

“Bodhi trusts everyone! He’s too stupid to be a threat.”

“If he’s so stupid, why does the Capitol commission technology from him?” She sounds like a petulant child and she knows it, but she’s so angry. Of course he’d be like this. Of course he’d find fault with everyone she wants as an ally. 

Sure enough, Ben rolls his eyes. “He may be intelligent, but he lacks common sense.”

“He isn’t the only one.”

Ben’s face contorts in anger. “Fine,” he says, throwing his napkin on the table. “If you want Cassian so much, you can have him. I’ll go alone.”

Everyone except for Rey makes some kind of exclamation, but he stalks out of the room without a backward glance. She stands up to go after him but Luke grabs her arm, tugging her back into her seat. “Leave him be,” he says, not unkindly. 

“Do you think he meant it?” She feels awful. Well, she hadn’t meant to make him  _ leave _ . Just to stop being such a baby. 

“No,” Leia says with conviction. “He didn’t mean it. He just doesn’t like Cassian, that’s all.”

“He’s known these people most of his life,” Han says gently. “It’s gonna be hard to either kill them or be killed by them.”

Rey feels a surge of guilt. Of course. She barely knows these people and the thought of killing them upsets her; she can only imagine how hard it must be for Ben, who’s known them since he was a child. She waits until dinner is over, when everyone is gathered around the television and too content to pay her much mind, before she slips to Ben’s room. 

He doesn’t answer her knocking at first, and she’s grateful the TV is loud enough that no one stirs from the lounge.

“Ben,” she calls softly. “Please, I want to apologize.”

It’s still quiet and she begins to despair that he will ever speak to her, but finally the door opens. His face is that unreadable mask again, but he stands aside. Rey steps into his room, lingers nervously by the door as he closes it. He folds his arms over his chest. “Well?”

“I’m sorry,” she says in a rush. “I asked for your guidance but I wasn’t willing to listen when you gave it. We don’t need Cassian. Or Chirrut, or Baze, or Bodhi, if that’s what you want. Just, just please don’t go off alone.”

His face softens and his arms fall to his sides. “I wasn’t really going to,” he says, abashed. “I only...I can’t stand that man, Rey, I really can’t.”

She smiles despite herself. “Okay. That’s good enough for me.”

He looks...perplexed. Though given their heated discussion less than an hour ago, she supposes she can’t blame him. “Really?”

She nods earnestly. “Yes.” She pauses. “Do you...do you not want the others?”

He shakes his head. “They’re fine. They...yes.”

Rey nods again. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I’m not sure of anything,” he mumbles. 

“Well,” she says with forced cheerfulness. “That makes two of us.”

He almost smiles.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may have noticed that the rating went up. Do with that information what you will ;)

The third day of training is also the last day. The session will end at lunch, and after that they’ll have their assessments with the gamemakers to show their chosen skill. 

Rey, like the other tributes, cares very little about presenting a skill for the gamemakers. Everyone knows what she’s capable of, just like everyone knows what the other tributes are capable of. There won’t be any surprises here. 

“Too bad I can’t use my staff again,” she laments over lunch. 

Ben raises his eyebrows. “Why not?”

“Because Chirrut’s probably using his.”

“That’s not a bad thing.” 

She frowns. “Isn’t it?”

Ben shakes his head. “You want to go in with a low score. Makes you less of a target for everyone you didn’t want to be in your alliance. If you get a high score, they’ll resent you for it.”

Rey rubs her temple. “I never thought about that.”

“Use the quarterstaff,” he urges. “Don’t  _ try _ to be bad but don’t exert yourself trying to be good. Go in with a low score so the others don’t think you’re a threat.”

Rey takes his advice. When her turn finally comes, she goes straight for the quarterstaff. She swings around the weapon, and she feels faintly sure that she’s making the same movements she did a year ago.

“Thank you, Miss Niima,” Amilyn Holdo says, smiling as she dismisses the younger woman. 

Rey heads up to her suite on her own. The place is curiously empty, something that doesn’t really strike her until after she’s showered and changed. Even Ben, whose assessment was right before hers, is absent. She knows that former tributes have certain privileges in the Capitol—Han certainly hasn’t hesitated to go out drinking with his buddies—but it’s unusual that  _ all _ of them are out. She doesn’t know what to do with her unexpected alone time and ends up curling up on her bed, pulling up a simulation of the mountains in 5. The holo that appears is serene and picturesque, and it isn’t long before she drifts off. She wakes up to Leia gently shaking her. 

“They’re going to announce your scores soon,” the older woman says with an apologetic smile. “I figured you’d want to be awake for that.”

Rey nods and blearily follows Leia out to the lounge. Her nap has left her disoriented, and she stumbles to the couch, taking a seat between Cee and Luke. Everyone is drinking and talking, the atmosphere deceptively comfortable. By the time Orson Krennic appears to announce the scores, she’s a little more awake. The Careers don’t receive bad scores, but they’re lower than what Rey was anticipating. 3 and 4 have fair to middling scores—but Rey and Ben break a record with scores of 12 each. The room watches in stunned silence as Orson announces the rest of the scores, which range from low to fair. No one comes close to a 12.

“What did you do, a strip-tease?” Han asks in disbelief. 

“I didn’t try to do anything good,” Rey says quickly, looking at Ben. “I did like you said, I was just  _ okay _ , I don’t understand—“

“They did it on purpose,” Luke says. “They’re trying to make you the center of attention so that the other tributes will resent you.”

“Will that work?”

“Not on most of them, but it may prick the Careers’ egos.”

Rey sinks back in her seat. “So I could’ve just...laid on the floor and they still would’ve given me a 12?”

“They’re desperate,” Luke murmurs thoughtfully. “Which means they’re scared…”

“I think we’ve had quite enough of that,” Cee says, fingering the jewels around his throat. “Now let’s have dinner and celebrate, shall we?”

Rey doesn’t feel much like celebrating knowing that she’s going to die in a matter of days, but she follows everyone to the dining room regardless. Everyone is in good spirits from the alcohol and Rey allows herself to loosen up. She goes into the arena in three days, but she has tonight and tomorrow to enjoy her last hours of relative freedom. They sit around the table and talk and eat and drink for hours, and when they’re too full to eat anymore they clear away the food and play cards and board games. Full and not a little tipsy, Rey finds herself having a good time. She is sleepy and content by the time she drifts asleep, the holo still showing her the mountains from 5.

.

She wakes up late in the morning, the holo still showing her the mountains. She takes her time getting out of bed before padding out to the dining room. The suite is empty again, so Rey orders a heaping bowl of ice cream and pads out to the lounge. She flips around on the TV, watches mindless Capitol prattle until Ben comes out to join her.

“Where is everyone?” she asks.

“Wooing sponsors.” He drops onto the couch beside her. “We’re not allowed, so it’s just you and me for a few hours.”

She tosses the remote at him. “Pick something.”

Ben finds a fashion program. It’s trite and stupid, but it’s one of the only programs that isn’t talking about the games. At least, it was, but Rey has just finished her bowl of ice cream when the program shows a clip of the opening ceremonies, referencing the tributes’ costumes. Rey sees her and Ben on their chariot, their flaming costumes making them look untouchable. They look so good together that the Capitol shouldn’t have any trouble accepting their lie.

She turns to look at Ben. “Are we still...going through with the plan? Pretending we’re in love?”

He tears his eyes from the screen to regard her. “Do you still want to?”

“Yes.”

His eyes don’t leave her. “But?”

She shakes her head. “There is no but. Yes, I still want to.”

“ _ But _ ?”

She hesitates. “It’s just...it’s so stupid, really, it’s so insignificant in the grand scheme of things…”

“Rey.”

“I’ve never kissed anyone before,” she blurts out, face red. “I’ve never kissed anyone and I’m sure we’re going to have to and I...I won’t have any idea what to do.”

He stares at her, his gaze unrelenting.

“Don’t look at me like that!” she whines. 

“Rey,” he says again, slowly. “Do you want me to show you how?”

She shrugs helplessly, face burning. “I guess?”

The smile he gives her is almost pitying. “Come here.”

She scoots beside him, tucking her legs beneath her. Her hands are trembling in her lap. He reaches over and covers them with his own massive hand. “Anytime you want to stop,” he says gently, “just say the word.”

“Okay.” She braces herself, so unsure of what to expect. She knows what’s supposed to happen, has seen enough kissing to know that lips and tongues are supposed to touch, but how does one do it? More importantly, how does one know if they’re doing it  _ right _ ? “You’ll tell me if I’m bad at it, won’t you?” she blurts nervously.

He smiles again. “Don’t worry about that.”

She wants to tell him it’s too late, she’s already very much worried about it, but he’s moving forward and she closes her eyes on instinct. 

His lips press against hers. 

It’s...not bad. It isn’t breathtaking or phenomenal, but it’s not bad or scary. His lips are surprisingly soft, and after a moment, after she’s felt him, she responds. Responding feels good. Ben must think so, too, because he makes a small sound, low in his throat. His hand is still covering hers, his thumb rubbing her knuckles; his other cradles the back of her head, and weirdly, that feels nice too. 

She feels his tongue prod at her lips and parts them. It’s not nearly as sloppy as she expects; he’s gentle and careful, and if she’s being honest, his tongue feels nice. She feels warm and silly as she responds, too content to feel embarrassed about the small hum that escapes her. The hand at the back of her head caresses her neck, his thumb stroking her jaw, and it still isn’t breathtaking or phenomenal but it’s  _ good _ , it’s  _ so good _ . 

One of her hands comes out from under his and rests on his chest, anchoring her as she deepens the kiss. The angle is  _ just  _ off enough that she doesn’t mind it at first, but the longer they kiss (what’s it been? Minutes? Hours? She doesn’t know), the more pronounced it becomes. She pulls back, breathing hard. “This—“

“Yeah,” he says, his eyes still closed.

Rey straddles his lap, and  _ that _ gets his eyes open. “Is this okay?” she asks, trying to maintain a respectful distance from his crotch.

He can only nod before she descends on him again, her arms snaking around his shoulders as his hands settle at her hips. And  _ this _ , oh,  _ this _ is so much better, so much closer. She kisses him openly, eagerly, and he responds to match her fervor. She doesn’t allow herself to think about what this means, if it even means anything at all—they both want it, and that’s all that matters right now. 

She has to stop after a while and catch her breath, but that doesn’t stop Ben. He kisses her jaw, her neck, nips with his teeth and soothes with his tongue. Rey melts against him, moaning. She doesn’t mean to, but she shifts on his lap so that her chest is flush with his. This also means that her center, hot and embarrassingly damp, is against a rock-solid bulge that can only be one thing. Rey isn’t upset or embarrassed—if anything, she’s relieved. They both like it. He isn’t just humoring her, he  _ genuinely _ likes what they’re doing. She’s glad, because she likes it too. 

She grinds down, wantonly, unabashedly, and they both groan at the sensation. She repeats it several times until his fingers clench her hips so hard she’s sure she’ll have bruises. She rocks against him, her breath coming in short, sharp little pants. This feels good, better than good, but it isn’t enough. Her hands reach for the waistband of his pants, and suddenly everything stops. His hands grab her wrists, his eyes wide. “What are you doing?”

She freezes. “I just...don’t you want to?” Her voice breaks. “I thought…”

“You don’t want this,” he tells her. “Trust me.”

“What if I do?” And oh, god, she’s crying now. “I’m gonna die in that arena, Ben, and I’ve never...I just…”

“You’d regret it.”

“I’m going to  _ die _ !” she half-shrieks. “Don’t you  _ get _ it, I’m gonna  _ die _ , I won’t live to regret  _ anything _ , why won’t you just…” Her voice breaks on a sob. 

Tenderly, he wipes the tears from her cheeks. “You deserve better.”

Ashamed, she buries her face in his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” His fingers ghost up her spine. “I can’t give you what you want but...let me do this for you.” 

She’s too embarrassed to protest when he urges her to turn around. She’s still on his lap, but facing the other way. His hand moves around to her abdomen and slides down into the waistband of her pants. They’re the loose pants she wore to bed and they move easily around his hand. Rey groans, her hips bucking as his fingers find a sensitive spot through her underwear. 

“ _ Ben _ ,” she whispers, and his finger rubs her. She can feel his hardness against her rear and for some reason this makes her wetter. She grinds into his hand, gasping at the sensation. One of his hands is at her waist to steady her; the hand that’s inside her pants slips two fingers under the soaked material of her underwear and strokes her. She keens against him, and they are both gasping and groaning now.

“You’re so  _ wet _ ,” he marvels before his fingers slip inside her. 

It’s so much. His fingers in her, her underwear twisting over that excitable spot, his hardness against her. She rocks her hips, nearly sobbing from the stimulation, and her head falls back as he pumps his fingers in and out of her. 

“You don’t touch yourself, do you?” He sounds awed. “You’ve never even come before.”

She can’t speak, can only gasp. His fingers move faster, his thumb swirling around the bud at her center. “You’re still holding on,” he murmurs, his breath sending shivers down her spine. “It’s time to let go. It’s all right.” He presses a kiss to her neck. “I feel it too.”

Something crashes over her, some wonderful and terrifying thing that is both just right and too much all at once. Her back arches as she cries out, muscles she didn’t even know she had fluttering and spasming around his fingers. Dimly, she is aware of his hips snapping against hers, the hand at her waist gripping her fiercely.

As the thing passes, ebbing like the waves on the beach she’s seen on tv, she feels exhausted. She droops back against Ben, who kisses her neck again. “Better?” he murmurs, the sound rumbling in his chest. She nods, still unable to really form words. His hand slides out of her pants. 

“What about you?” she slurs. “Do you...I can…” She reaches for the hardness she’d felt earlier, but he takes her hand and steers it away. 

“Don’t worry about me. I...took care of it.”

Her cheeks turn red as she realizes why his hips were rocking against hers. “Oh.” 

He gives her hip a small pat. “I should clean up.”

She gets up too, legs shaky as she stumbles to her room. She takes a shower, amazed at the sensations that are still taking place between her legs. Part of her is embarrassed, but...well, he’d gotten off too, hadn’t he? And surely he wouldn’t have offered if he didn’t want to. Unless...he didn’t, and he was just...what, being nice? He didn’t want her to touch him there, told her she deserved better. What if he was just saying that so he didn’t have to? 

It’s not like it matters. She shakes her head. She’s going to die in a few days. And…

A sob escapes from somewhere deep inside her. 

_ She’s going to die _ . 

She knows she will, it isn’t a surprise, but it’s so close now. She knows, too, that her efforts to save Ben will be in vain; more likely one of the Careers will kill them both, and Rey will die knowing she couldn’t bring Ben back home to his family. 

She turns up the heat so high that the water scalds her skin. When the sting takes some of the shame away, she turns off the shower and changes into clean clothes. She decides to hide out in her room until she hears voices from outside. Luke, Han, and Leia are back, looking weary from what has no doubt been an exhausting day of wooing sponsors. 

“Any luck?” Rey asks, determinedly avoiding Ben’s eye. As soon as he looks away, though, she glances at him, studies him. He looks embarrassed, and she doesn’t know what to make of that. 

“Don’t you worry about a thing,” Leia says.

“Well, it’s a little late for that,” Rey deadpans.

Leia raises a wine glass in acknowledgement. “Fair enough.”

“What did you two do with your day?” Han asks. 

“Nothing,” Ben says.

“Watched TV.”

“Napped.”

“That’s about it,” Rey says in what she hopes is a convincing tone. She tries not to look at Ben, because she’s sure that if she does, everyone will know. 

She doesn’t let herself look at him for the rest of the day, all through dinner and even after, when they sit around playing cards. She gets up to use the bathroom, and as soon as she steps out she sees him, waiting for her.

“I’m sorry,” he says, looking pained. “About...earlier...I shouldn’t have taken advantage--”

“Advantage?” She stares at him. “I... _ wanted _ it.”

His face clears. “I wanted it too,” he admits. “But you seemed...embarrassed, after.”

She shifts from foot to foot. “I thought maybe you were just...being nice. And that you didn’t really want it at all.”

“Of course I did,” he says softly. “Did you really doubt that?”

She bites her lip.  _ You idiot. You absolute fool.  _ “I don’t know.”

His hand touches her chin, tilts her head up so that she’s looking at him. Then he kisses her. Instinctively, Rey responds, her fingers gripping his shirt to anchor her. She doesn’t know what it means, what this is, but they don’t exactly have time to figure it out. One or both of them will be dead in a matter of days. 

.

She dreams that night that she’s in the arena again. She sees all the usual faces, but where she normally finds Paige, something is different. She turns over the prone figure and sees Ben, a trickle of blood coming out of his mouth, his eyes wide and glassy.

The real Ben holds her as she cries.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost there, y'all--this is the last chapter before the arena! I know some of y'all have been speculating on what it will contain--I would love to see your thoughts if you have any ;)

She wakes up early in the morning to find the sun just beginning to peer over the mountains in her holo and Ben’s arm around her waist. He stayed with her through the night because she asked him to, too afraid of falling asleep and having more nightmares. It feels _nice_ to wake up beside him, his arm strong and secure around her waist and his chest firm against her back. She settles into him, bites her lip when she feels his hard length pressed against her rear. Experimentally, she shifts her hips away from him and giggles when he chases after her.

He stirs behind her, pressing a scratchy, sleepy kiss to her shoulder. “Good morning.”

She rolls over, kisses him.

“I have morning breath,” he protests, but she keeps kissing him.

“So do I. I don’t care.” She slides a leg over his hip, pressing her center closer to his. He wraps his hand in her hair, tilts her head to kiss her better. She’s wet now, and when she shifts so that she’s straddling him, her center pressed flush against his hard length, they both groan. She is fleetingly furious that they haven’t discovered this sooner, that all those lonely nights in her big, empty house could have been spent like _this_. They could’ve talked about it, and maybe he wouldn’t think she’d regret it or deserved better.

But maybe he’s right, and she would have regretted it. Maybe they never would have ended up like this if their impending deaths weren’t looming over the horizon. Maybe Rey doesn’t _really_ want to be with him, to have him, and she’s just losing her mind a little because she’s about to die and he’s, well, here.

She shakes the thought from her head. It doesn’t matter now. What matters now is that he’s in her bed and she’s kissing him and they don’t have long before someone will come looking for them.

Rey slides her hips up and down his length, dragging her core against him. They’re both breathing hard, acutely aware of each other’s arousal.

“Ben,” she whispers.

He flips her onto her back and plunges his hand inside the waistband of her pants and underwear. Her back arches as soon as he finds her folds, her fingers digging into his back. He kisses her, swallows her pants and moans as he brings her to release. She cries out into his neck when it finally claims her, that odd spasm coursing through her. When the last flutters have subsided, he slowly withdraws his fingers.

“I should go,” he murmurs, sitting up. “Before someone realizes.”

“We’re supposed to be in love,” she says, her heart still racing.

He snorts. “My family knows very well that isn’t the case.”

“Well, what do they care? We’re about to die anyway.”

An odd look crosses his face, and Rey feels guilty for saying it. He probably doesn’t want to think about it.

“I’m sorry,” she starts to say, but he leans forward to kiss her.

“I should go,” he says again, and he leaves her.

Rey rolls on her side and stares at the mountains until Cee bustles in to get her up. She spends all morning in prep for her interview on Orson Krennic’s show--since this is her last appearance before the games, she has to look her absolute best. A whole team of stylists washes her, waxes her, and washes her again. They are all blubbering about how they’re so sad, how they loved dolling her up. Even Artoo, sarcastic to a fault, is uncharacteristically moody. It’s a relief when Maz dismisses them to dress Rey herself.

“So, what am I wearing tonight?” Rey asks. “More flames?”

“I thought about it,” Maz says. “But then I had a better idea.”

The dress Rey pulls on is a confection of white lace, beautiful and elegant in its simplicity. “It looks like a wedding dress,” she says when she sees her reflection.

“That’s the idea,” Maz says in a wry tone. “You and Ben are making your big announcement tonight; when the Capitol audiences see you standing up there in your white dress, looking oh-so-heartbroken that you can’t be with the man you love, they’ll lose their minds.”

Rey can’t help noticing that it does more than make her look like a bride; it also makes her look like a sacrificial lamb being brought to the slaughter. The fire queen reduced to a sacrifice. While the Capitol is sighing and crying, the rebels in the districts will be incensed. She completes the look with the mockingjay pin that had been gifted to Rey a year ago, placing it just over her left breast.

Maz, as usual, has thought of everything.

She meets the others by the elevator. Ben looks stunningly handsome in a sleek black suit. He stares hard at Rey, taking in the white dress.

“I know,” she says. “It sends a message.”

“You look beautiful,” Ben says, surprising her.

Rey flushes all the way down to the main floor, where several of the tributes are already gathered. Some of them, including Jyn Erso, roll their eyes at her white dress. Rey ignores them, focusing instead on Ben.

“How are we going to do it?” she asks softly.

“Orson will probably say something inane about you breaking a lot of hearts or something,” Ben mutters. “Try to use that as a segue. I’ll come out then. If you absolutely can’t work it in, I’ll do it.”

When all the tributes have gathered, they are escorted to the holding area. They watch the interviews from the screens in the room. Rey does not have long to wait; while Chirrut is being interviewed, she is already being ushered into place, Ben not far behind her. He squeezes her hand reassuringly, and as soon as Baze swaggers offstage, an attendant is hissing at her to go.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to our most recent victor, Rey Niima!”

Rey sweeps out amongst applause and cheers. She does not smile, only takes Orson’s hand and perches in her seat.

“My, _my_ ,” Orson says once the applause has died down. “You are a _vision_ , Rey.”

“Thank you, Orson,” she says demurely.

“Now, Rey, you’re in quite an interesting position here, because you won your games only a year ago.”

“Out of the frying pan and into the fire.”

He almost blanches. “Well, yes.” Then he turns that toothy grin on her. “I know more than a few people here are nursing broken hearts. I wonder, Rey, if there’s anyone _back home_ nursing a broken heart.”

Rey feels her heart pound. “There isn’t anyone...back home,” she says, choosing her words deliberately. “But there is...someone.” She looks out at the audience, who are all watching her with wide eyes and bated breath. “He isn’t back home, because...he came here with me.” She stands and turns to the partition, where she knows Ben is waiting. “Ben.”

And Ben comes strolling out from behind the partition, his eyes on hers.

The audience erupts in gasps and even shrieks as he joins her, taking her hands in his. She can’t tear her eyes from his, and she doesn’t know if it’s an act or not.

“Are you telling me,” Orson says, sounding thrilled, “that the two of you are _in love_?”

“We are,” Ben says, eliciting several more shrieks from the audience.

“How long has this been going on?”

“A while now,” Ben says. “I volunteered to be with her. I couldn’t stand the thought of her going into the arena again without me.”

Judging by the audience reaction, the Capitol is eating out of the palms of their hands. _Good_ , Rey thinks, and at the same time, _Fuck all of you._

“But _surely_ ,” Orson continues, “this will make things...complicated? After all, there can only be one victor.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” Ben squeezes her hands.

Rey begins to cry.

She doesn’t know why. She isn’t trying to, it just...happens. She doesn’t try to stop it, knowing the audience is weeping right along with her, but she doesn’t understand it. Ben reaches up a hand to wipe her tears, and a moment later, bends down to kiss her. It’s a chaste, gentle kiss, but the audience is screaming as he touches his forehead to hers, uses his thumbs to wipe away her tears.

It takes ages for Orson to finally quell the hysterical crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he shouts, “I believe we are running out of time for our friends from District 5…”

He’s interrupted by a fresh wave of outrage.

Orson leans forward, mutters, “I think you two had better get off the stage.” He is all smiles when he turns back to the crowd, gently trying to coax them into behaving. Ben takes Rey’s hand in his and waves at the crowd. She follows suit, almost smiling when the audience erupts anew. Then she and Ben are walking offstage. Dimly, Rey hears Orson calling them the star-crossed lovers of District 5.

They head to the elevators to wait for their team. Bodhi Rook and Jyn Erso are also waiting. Rey tenses at the sight of Jyn, who rolled her eyes at Rey’s dress and said she wouldn’t hesitate to kill the younger woman if it came down to it.

“Is that true?” Bodhi blurts. “Have you two really been...secretly in love this whole time?”

“Yes,” Rey says. Her hand is still threaded in Ben’s.

The escort for 3 comes right at that moment, trying to shoo them into the elevator, but Jyn moves towards Rey. “Snoke will pay,” she says quietly. “We’ll _make him_ pay.” And then she storms into the elevator, snapping at her escort.

“I like her,” Rey decides.

Cee is misty-eyed by the time he, Han, Luke, and Leia join them to escort them upstairs.

“You know this isn’t real, right?” Han drawls. “It’s just an act.”

“Oh, I know,” Cee says, dabbing at his eyes with a handkerchief. “But it’s just...so romantic.”

They watch the recap of the interviews, mostly because none of them want to think about the inevitable. The Careers are all determined to win. Jyn is full of barely-restrained anger. Bodhi is nervous and shaking. Chirrut cracks jokes about being old and blind. Baze is cynical, states that he doesn’t think it’s fair that he has to go back in. And then it’s Rey’s turn, looking beautiful and sorrowful. When Ben comes out to take her hands, they look like a couple exchanging wedding vows. She weeps. He kisses her. The audience is losing its mind. Rey’s fairytale life is only growing more magical by the second, and it’s about to end in tragedy.

The rest of the interviews go more or less smoothly. People are either smiling and trying to charm sponsors or surly about having to go back. Cassian Andor, the final interviewee, has to be physically removed from the stage.

It is, as Han puts it, a shitshow.

Leia sends them all to bed almost as soon as the interviews are over. “You need plenty of rest,” she says. As if any of them are going to be able to sleep tonight. Hugs go all around, just in case they don’t see each other in the morning.

“I’ll bring Ben home,” Rey whispers in Leia’s ear when it’s their turn. “I promise.”

Leia’s arms tighten around her.

Later, when Rey is lying on her bed and staring at the mountains, she makes a decision. She clicks off the holo and pads to Ben’s room. He’s lying in bed, his arms crossed under his head, but he wraps them around Rey when she curls up beside him.

“I won’t be able to sleep tonight,” she says. “I want to not sleep with you.”

They lie there until dawn breaks, and only then does Rey reach up to kiss him. “See you in a few hours,” she murmurs, and then goes back to her room to await Maz.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating a couple days early because y'all are wonderful. Seriously. If you follow me on Tumblr you'll know that I'm going through a rough place financially; when I asked for ko-fi donations to help me eat, y'all came the fuck through. I really can't thank you enough. So here's an early update! Have some trauma #urwelcome
> 
> And now, let the 75th Annual Hunger Games...begin...

The hovercraft journey to the launch area is agonizing. Rey forces herself to eat and drink so that she won’t starve or get dehydrated too early in the game. When they reach the launch area, she showers and changes into plain undergarments. Maz arranges her hair in the three buns from last year and helps her change into clothes that are varying shades of gray. A long-sleeve tunic. A vest. Leggings. A long piece of fabric that she winds around herself. Boots. A broad belt. 

“What do you think it means?” Rey asks, her voice raspy.

“I don’t know. The layers suggest the climate could change,” Maz says, inspecting it. “Somewhere that gets cold at night and warm during the day.”

But almost every arena is like that, and it doesn’t tell Rey much. 

She and Maz sit, holding hands, until the voice calls to tell them it’s almost time.

“I almost forgot,” Maz says, reaching into her pocket. She pulls out the mockingjay pin from Rey’s dress--the same pin that a woman whose name Rey still does not know gave her a year ago. She fixes it to Rey’s tunic, hiding it beneath the vest. “For luck.”

“We both know I’ll need it.” Rey reaches down to hug the smaller woman. “Thank you, Maz. For everything.”

Maz gives her a sad smile as Rey steps into the tube. A moment later, it rises, carrying her into a blindingly bright light.

When her eyes adjust, she sees that she’s standing on a vast, empty plain of snow. She isn’t cold, but perhaps that’s just the nerves. There are mountains behind a huge cliff face not far from the Cornucopia, and in the opposite direction she can see the outline of more mountains. There is little in the way of shelter or camouflage, which means no one is going to stay hidden for long. These games will be over in a matter of hours. She looks around her, sees that, as usual, there is no rhyme or reason to the order of tributes--they are all meant to be disoriented, to not know where their friends or enemies are situated. 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” says Amilyn Holdo. “Let the 75th Annual Hunger Games begin. May the odds be ever in your favor.”

There is a counter on the Cornucopia, directly facing Rey. It counts down one minute. Rey takes that time to look around her. She can’t find Ben, but she sees Bodhi not far away, and Baze Malbus not far from him. The tribute beside her, a man from 9, bends down to touch the snow at the base of his plate. He licks it from his fingers with a curious expression. “Salt.”

Rey barely has time to process this when the counter winds down.

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1

She lunges forward, kicks up salt as she and the other tributes race to the Cornucopia. She keeps glancing to her left and right to make sure neither of those tributes are going to try to off her before they even reach the Cornucopia, but they don’t seem to pay her much mind. Behind them, she sees trails of blood--have they already started? But as she looks down she realizes that it isn’t blood--it’s the salt. When it’s disturbed, it turns over red. The gamemakers have really made it impossible to be stealthy in this arena. As she gets closer, she makes a scan of the offerings. There are backpacks near the outskirts, along with some hiking sticks and ropes. The further into the Cornucopia, she knows, the more dangerous the weapons are. There should be a quarterstaff for her not too far inside. She can grab that, grab some other supplies, and try to find Ben, Bodhi, Baze, and Chirrut.

She skids to a halt inside the Cornucopia, trying to find a quarterstaff first--the other supplies will be useless if she doesn’t have a way of defending herself. 

“Rey!”

Her head whips to the side, and before she can react Cassian Andor is tossing a quarterstaff at her. She catches it reflexively, swinging around as she hears someone coming up behind her. It’s the boy from 2, Marvel, big and terrifying. He catches Rey’s staff and bodily lifts it and her, slamming her against the wall of the Cornucopia and using the staff to  keep her suspended. It presses into her throat as he smirks at her. 

“Where’s your boyfriend, little girl?”

“Right here.” Ben emerges, bulldozing straight into Marvel. He drops Rey, who lands in a sprawl on the ground; Ben plunges his sword into Marvel’s chest. Cassian, whose own blade is bloody, reaches out a hand to help Rey to her feet. Reflexively again, she accepts his help.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

She nods. 

Ben turns around as soon as the other tribute is dead, pointing his sword at Cassian. “Back off.”

“Hoo, you really are the jealous type,” Cassian laughs. He raises his hand, revealing a bracelet with a blue gemstone on his wrist. “Good thing we’re allies, right?” And before either of them can object, he whirls around and lands a throwing knife in a tribute’s face. Rey gathers supplies while Ben and Cassian fend off the other tributes, but it quickly becomes apparent that, as usual, the Careers are laying claim to the Cornucopia. Ben grabs Rey and they take off running for the cliff face, Cassian hot on their heels. As soon as they’re under the cliff’s shadow, Ben turns on Cassian, sword raised to his heart.

“You?” he asks with narrowed eyes.

Cassian’s smirk widens. “ _ Me _ .” He raises his hand again, the gemstone glinting in the sun.

Rey doesn’t understand this exchange. “Ben…?”

He lowers his sword. “It’s fine,” he says curtly. “You wanted him anyway, didn’t you?”

She opens her mouth soundlessly. 

“Are you hurt?” he presses.

She shakes her head.

“Then let’s find the others and get out of here.”

Except, they can’t find the others. They aren’t among the dead, but neither are they among the living. They’re simply  _ gone _ . The three of them decide that even if they can’t find the others, they’re too exposed out here and need to find something that offers a little more protection. There’s a crevasse in the cliff face; it doesn’t offer nearly enough shelter, but it’s the best they’ve got on short notice. They duck under its meager shadow and count the cannons.

“Well, the others have to be around here somewhere,” Rey says as they catch their breath.

“They might have gone straight for shelter and not even bothered with the bloodbath,” Cassian suggests. “They could be waiting for us.”

“That would make sense,” Ben says. “Given the circumstances.”

“We should find water. They’ve probably already gone to do the same thing.”

“Yeah, water,” Cassian mutters.

“You don’t agree?”

“I don’t think water will be easy to find in this place,” he says. “This much salt means there was a body of water that dried up a long time ago. I mean, theoretically. There might not be any water.”

“There  _ has _ to be,” Rey says, but her voice falters. It  _ is _ an extremely difficult arena to maneuver, and the odds do seem to be stacked against their favor. Maybe there really isn’t any water. At this point, Rey wouldn’t put it past them. 

They decide that their best bet is to scale the cliffs and head to the top of the mountains--even if water and the rest of their alliance is not waiting at the top, at least they’ll be able to see the arena better. They use the ropes and hooks from the Cornucopia to scale the cliff. It’s slow going, but Rey has enough practice from the mountains in 5 that her ascent is sure and steady. Ben is ahead of her, but it doesn’t take her long to catch up to him. 

“What does the bracelet mean?” she asks when they’ve put a bit of distance between them and Cassian.

“It’s my mother’s,” he says, glancing down at the other man. Cassian is too focused on the task at hand to pay them any mind. “She must have wanted him for an ally.”

That doesn’t make a lot of sense to Rey, but she knows it’s too late to question it now. She wanted Cassian anyway, and if Ben accepts his presence, then she’s happy to as well. 

They’re near the top when Ben stops her. “Let me go first,” he says. “In case anyone’s waiting for us.”

She starts to protest, but he’s already scrambling over the ledge. A moment later, he leans over, pulling her up beside him. It isn’t  _ beautiful _ , not in the sense that Rey’s favorite spot atop the mountain in 5 is, but there’s something eerily appealing behind the miles and miles of off-white. The craggy mountains continue for an indeterminable distance, though Rey knows at some point they stop and become projections on the wall of the arena. Below them is the vast plain of salt, streaks of red marking where tributes have run and sought shelter. At the other end of the plain are the outlines of more mountains, though Rey wonders if those are actually real or just projections. 

Ben touches her hand, and when she turns to look at him, he kisses her. She kisses back, her fingers curling in his vest as she stands on her toes to reach him.

“Don’t make me regret this alliance,” Cassian says as he climbs over the edge. 

“You know what you signed up for,” Rey jokes. 

“Let’s have this discussion somewhere that isn’t on the edge of a cliff.”

“Afraid of heights, Andor?” Ben teases, but they move away from the edge. They toss around the idea that there might be water up here, but if there is, they’re having a hard time finding it. That doesn’t surprise Rey. If Cassian is right, there isn’t any water in this arena. 

They walk for what feels like hours. Rey enjoys the rocky terrain--it reminds her of home. She uses her staff as a hiking stick and soon gets ahead of Ben and Cassian, caught up in looking for water. Her eyes are on the ground, looking for any signs of moisture, and she doesn’t see the shimmer until it’s too late. Her body jolts, throwing her backward. Her last thought before everything goes black is,  _ Well, Snoke got what he wanted _ .

She jolts again, her chest sore and heart pounding.

Ben’s face is over hers, wearing a wretched expression. “Rey!” 

“Careful,” she hears Cassian say. “There’s a forcefield right there.”

Rey reaches for Ben; he instantly lowers himself, cradling her in his arms. “I thought you were dead,” he says, over and over. 

“I thought I was too,” she croaks. She sits up, wincing.

“Are you okay?”

“I think so...my chest hurts.” 

“Ben was giving you CPR,” Cassian supplies. “Maybe you cracked a rib…?”

She shakes her head. “It’s not that…” She pulls aside her vest, sees the mockingjay pin on her tunic. When she tugs the shirt aside, there’s a scorch mark on her skin.

“No wonder your heart stopped,” Ben breathes. “You had a conductor right over it. It’s a miracle you’re alive.”

“Great,” she mutters. “Well, now we know where the arena ends.”

“Stay here,” Cassian orders. He grabs a handful of rocks and sets off, tossing them at the forcefield. He does this for several yards, then turns around and does the same thing in the opposite direction. “It’s a straight line,” he says. “We should be okay as long as we don’t go any farther in that direction.”

“But which direction  _ do _ we go?”

The mountains stretched in either direction. The Cornucopia was usually in the center of the arena, and since they’d been going more or less in a straight line, they’re still a good distance away from the other arena walls. Of course, this is assuming that the rules haven’t been changed, and there’s a pretty strong chance that they have.

“Let’s head that way,” Cassian says, indicating the direction to their right. “The mountains don’t go on forever. The sooner we can establish the walls of the arena, the sooner we’ll be able to find everyone’s hiding places. That includes our friends and enemies.”

There’s sense to what he says--and anyway, it isn’t like they have anything else to do. Maybe they’ll even find water or something to eat. 

“Are you okay?” Ben asks her as he helps her to her feet.

“I’m okay,” she confirms. “Just...feel like I drank too much coffee.” She takes a few steps, legs shaking.

“You’re not okay.” Ben slides his sword into his belt and motions for her to get on his back. She hesitates, but realistically she knows she’ll only make herself weaker if she walks; at least being carried will help her regain some of her strength. She loops the straps of her backpack around the staff so that she won’t whack Ben in the face with it and clambers onto his back. He carries her easily, and after a while, Rey lets her head drop onto his shoulder. She’s surprised to find that even under the sweat and salt, he still smells like himself. A clean, soapy smell she can’t quite identify. She breathes him in, the jitters in her heart slowing. 

Ahead of them, Cassian leads the way with his assortment of small rocks. He throws them a few feet in front of him, always relieved to see that they do not bounce off an invisible wall. The sun is hanging low in the sky when Cassian stops, holding up a hand. “Do you hear that?”

Rey and Ben freeze. They hear something, a light, tinkling sound.

“Water!”

They scramble towards the sound, just off to their right. Cassian lets out a triumphant cry as he kneels beside an impossibly small stream. They take turns cupping their hands in the water and splashing it into their mouths. They drink until they’re full.

“I didn’t think we’d find any,” Rey admits, sitting back and wiping her mouth. 

“Not bad for the first day,” Cassian says with a smile. Rey wonders if the others are faring as well.

They decide to camp out by the stream; in the morning, they’ll continue their journey to find the edge of the arena. 

“I’ll take the first watch,” Cassian offers.

A snort rips from Ben. “Not a chance.” 

Cassian looks at him coolly. “If I wanted to kill either of you, I would have done it by now.”

Ben is scowling at him, and Rey knows that if he isn’t careful, whatever he has to say could actually make Cassian turn on them.

“I’ll take the first watch,” she volunteers.

Both men look at her, almost as if they’d forgotten she was there. 

“You should rest,” Ben says, the anger melting from his tone.

“I’m still a little too jittery to sleep,” she lies. She could sleep now, but she’d rather avoid the pissing contest if she can help it. “I’ll take the first watch, you can have second, and Cassian can have third.”

Neither man argues with this. Satisfied, Rey leans back, her staff lying at her side. Cassian curls up, using the fabric he’s been wearing as a scarf as a makeshift pillow. Ben lies beside Rey, pillowing his head on her thigh. It feels nice, to have him so warm and so near to her. She cards her fingers through his hair, her breath hitching in her throat when he presses a kiss to her knee. 

It isn’t long after when they’re all jolted from their peaceful states by the playing of the anthem. They all three turn their eyes to the sky as they see the projections of those who have died. The boy from 2. The man from 6. All the tributes from 8 and 9. The woman from 10, and the woman from 11. 

“Eight,” Cassian says when the projections fade. “Which means there are fifteen of us in the arena, twelve who aren’t us.”

“At least the rest of our alliance is alive,” Rey says. “And we’re down a Career.”

“We’ve still got three Careers, and there’s no telling what the others are up to.”

“Probably splitting off,” Ben says. “The other districts don’t usually make alliances.”

“True,” Rey says. “But the other tributes aren’t usually former victors, either.”

“True,” he mumbles.

The men drift off to sleep not long after. Rey only has another hour and a half or so of her watch; it goes by slowly, but uneventfully. She gives Ben a gentle shake when it feels time to change. He blearily rubs his eyes and sits up, leaning against the rock. It’s her turn now to lie down, using his thigh as a cushion. He strokes her head, and it isn’t long before she drifts asleep. She stirs once a few hours later when the watch changes; Ben lies down behind her and pulls her into his arms, but she barely wakes. 

  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an exciting time, y'all!!
> 
> First off, Happy Revenge of the Fifth! 
> 
> Second, we are officially HALFWAY THROUGH!!!!! 
> 
> Third, galacticprideandprejudice made a GORGEOUS gifset for this fic: https://spacedarcy.tumblr.com/post/173559097667/galacticprideandprejudice-lets-give-a-warm
> 
> Fourth and last, I'm modding a Reylo Charity Anthology, and if you are a producer of content, we would love to have you! All donations will go to good causes. For more information, check out reylocharityanthology.tumblr.com.

She wakes up when the sun rises. Rey grumbles, shifting deeper into the warmth around her, and realizes a bleary moment later that it’s Ben. She rolls over in his arms, burying her face in his chest so that she doesn’t have to see the sunlight. Her movement wakes Ben, however, and he sleepily nuzzles her nose. “Morning.”

“Mmph,” she grumbles, earning a low chuckle from him. He kisses her nose, her cheek, her forehead. When he kisses her lips, she can’t help but respond. His kisses grow deeper, and she tries not to wonder how much of it is for show and how much is genuine—if any of it even is. 

“What happened to my needing rest?” she whispers.

“You are resting,” he murmurs, nipping just below her ear. “You’re lying down, aren’t you?”

“Cassian,” she says, not even protesting when he shifts over her.

“My name is Ben, remember?”

“No, I mean Cassian is watching.”

“That good-for-nothing is asleep.”

She glances over to see that Cassian is indeed dozing against his perch. She smiles and winds her arms around Ben’s neck, sighing as he deepens their kisses. Her center becomes traitorously warm and she tries to shift her hips away from him. He follows her, pressing his own arousal against her. “There are cameras watching,” she murmurs. 

“You mean we can’t repeat the other morning?”

She actually laughs at this, and the noise stirs Cassian. 

“Okay, enough of that,” he yawns. 

“Sorry,” Rey says, not sounding sorry at all. 

They drink from the stream, splashing water on their faces and necks to wake themselves up. Rey is stretching when she hears a light chiming. The three of them turn expectantly to the skies, where a parachute attached to a silver box is headed straight for them. It lands in Ben’s lap, and when he opens it they find a note. 

_ Eat up. -Mom _

Inside the box are packs of blue-green lumps that they all recognize as rations. They’re expensive, which is why so many tributes starve in the arena, and there are enough rations to feed them for a few days. They must have done  _ very _ well with sponsors. 

The three of them eat two rations each, pack two more in their belts, and put the rest in Cassian’s backpack. Thus fed and watered, they keep moving, Cassian still tossing rocks in front of him. Rey feels well enough to walk, but Ben insists on holding her hand. She knows he’s putting on the protective boyfriend act, but...well, it’s nice anyway.

It’s around mid-morning when one of the rocks pings back. Cassian motions for the other two to halt and then throws another rock. It’s definitely a forcefield. Cassian takes his rocks and walks to his left, tossing rocks until another pings back. He does this a few more times until he’s established the walls. “Okay,” he says, coming back to the other two. “So assuming that the Cornucopia is in the center of the arena—“

“Which it might not be,” Ben interrupts.

Cassian nods. “Which it might not be, but assuming it is, we’re in a rectangle. It took us more time to cover the distance from the Cornucopia to this wall,” he indicates the wall that Rey walked into yesterday, “than it did for us to cover the distance to this wall.”

Rey chews her lip. It isn’t unusual for the gamemakers to play with the shape of the arena, but a rectangle feels…

“The majority of the arena is that plain,” Ben realizes. “The mountains are only a fraction of the space.”

Cassian nods. “Which means the other tributes can’t be far from here.”

“But where  _ are _ they? I didn’t see anyone else scaling the cliffs,” Rey points out. 

“Maybe they didn’t come up  _ over _ the mountains,” Ben says slowly. “Because they went  _ under _ them.”

“How?”

He shakes his head. “We went for the first hiding place we could find—maybe there was an opening on the ground.”

“So, what, we’re going to go back down?”

“I don’t think we should try that just yet,” Cassian says quickly. “The Careers are probably still holding down the Cornucopia, and they’d see us coming down. We’d be walking right into another bloodbath.”

They stand in silence, contemplating. 

“What happens if we walk the opposite direction?” Rey asks. “Find the other wall and see if it’s actually a rectangle or if the Cornucopia is just not in the center.”

The other two shrug and agree that they may as well check. Ben takes her hand and they set off again. 

They’re thinking about stopping for a midday bite to eat when something barrels right into Rey from behind. She’s knocked onto the ground, and judging by Ben’s shout, something similar is happening to him. She rolls onto her back and raises her staff just in time to block an axe from lodging in her throat. It’s the woman from 7, snarling as she raises her axe and swings again. Rey ducks out of the way and uses her staff to knock the other woman onto her backside. Rey scrambles to her feet, sees that Ben is struggling with the man from 7. The woman tries to get up, but a knife lands in her face; turning, Rey sees Cassian. She nods her thanks at him and they both turn to help Ben, who’s already sustained a gash to his arm. Rey’s staff knocks the man off of Ben, and Cassian buries one of his knives into the man’s back. 

Two cannons sound. 

Cassian retrieves his knives and wipes them on his victims’ clothes while Rey looks at Ben’s arm. 

“It’s shallow,” he insists. “He didn’t do any damage.”

“Fortunately, I think you’re right,” she says. She takes the scarf from the woman and winds it around Ben’s arm in a makeshift bandage. Impulsively, she kisses his forehead. “I wonder where they came from.”

“I think I know.” Cassian waves them over. Below a cluster of rocks is a dark crevice that’s too small to be a cave. None of them have a light, but Rey crawls into the space, Ben and Cassian holding her ankles, and lets her eyes adjust to the darkness. 

“I think it’s a tunnel,” she calls over her shoulder. She backs out. “They must have crawled up here.”

“I guess that answers that,” Cassian says. “If they made it up here…”

“We can make it down there,” Rey finishes. “Should we try it?”

“Yes,” says Ben, poking his own head into the tunnel. “I have a feeling we’ll find our friends down there.”

They tie the ropes around their waists and crawl into the tunnels. Ben leads the way, Rey follows, and Cassian comes last. It’s dark in the tunnels, and they have no idea how much time passes. They try not to talk, either, in case someone they don’t want to run into is waiting at the bottom. Rey wonders when the two from 7 began their ascent, if they’d been climbing since the games began. But that can’t be—she and Ben and Cassian scaled the cliffs in a couple of hours, and this was the same distance, so it couldn’t have taken them that long. 

Her stomach is starting to rumble, regretfully thinking of the rations they’d almost eaten when they were attacked, when Ben hisses for them to stop. She and Cassian still, trying to make their breaths as shallow as possible. 

“I think we’re near the bottom,” Ben murmurs. “I’m untying.”

“Be careful,” Rey whispers. 

“Can you take my sword?”

She does, tucking her staff in the crook of her arm so that she can still brace herself with her other hand. She feels the rope go slack, and then hears Ben shift. A moment later, there is a soft thud. A pause, then a crunching sound that lasts for a few minutes. Finally, he calls up, “I think it’s all right. Throw down the sword and the staff and then jump down, but wait ‘til I say.”

Rey obediently drops the weapons.

“Okay,” he calls. “Jump one at a time.”

Rey unties the rope from her waist and eases down the rest of the tunnel. When the slope disappears, opening into nothingness, Rey braces herself and jumps. She lands in something almost like sand, but coarser and rougher. Salt.

“Ben?”

“Here.” Dimly, she sees his hand, lets him pull her to her feet. He guides her off the bed of salt and calls up to Cassian. It’s still dark, but Rey can make out a light-ish blur dropping from the tunnel. 

“There’s light somewhere in here,” she realizes as she and Ben help Cassian to his feet. 

As if on cue, they hear chimes. Something glints as it drops out of the tunnel. Ben fumbles with it, and a moment later they all let out a cry and jump back as light blinds them.

“It’s a flashlight,” Ben says, pointing the beam toward the ground so they can adjust. 

“I’m glad someone out there thinks you’re cute,” Cassian snorts. “I can hardly stomach you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Ben says dryly, but Rey suspects that he doesn’t dislike Cassian nearly as much as he did before. He swings the beam around to get a look at their surroundings. 

They’re definitely in some kind of cave, full of stalagmites and stalactites of salt. There are two tunnels leading from here, headed in opposite directions; after eating a ration each, they choose the tunnel that goes at a slight downward slope. They decide to turn off the flashlight so as not to draw attention, blindly feeling their way through the tunnel.

But they aren’t blind forever; the tunnel lightens by a fraction as they move forward, and soon they are able to see one another. 

“We must be near the mouth of the cave,” Ben says. “The others must have come in this way.”

“Do you think they’re still…?”

“Someone has to be,” Cassian decides. “7 wouldn’t go up that tunnel if they didn’t feel...you know…”

“Trapped?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Rey says after a moment. “Let’s just hope it’s the other half of our alliance at the front.” But a part of her doesn’t think it will make much difference either way. Aside from the Careers, there are only four other people in the games who aren’t in their alliance. And once those four go, it’s just them and the Careers. And once the Careers are out of the way…

She turns to Ben. “Let’s not go.”

“What?” He looks at her oddly. “What’s wrong?” 

She shakes her head. “I don’t want to say.”

“She’s worried our allies are going to turn on us.” Cassian rests his foot on the tunnel wall, stretching. “Right? You’ve done the math. You know there are only a handful of people left before we have to start turning on each other.”

“I don’t want to be there when that happens,” she says quietly.

Ben’s face is unreadable again and she  _ hates _ it. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but...we need the rest of our alliance.”

Rey gapes at him. “You never wanted an alliance in the first place!”

“I didn’t, but a strong alliance is necessary to survive the Quell.” He shifts. “Three Careers is still a dangerous number, and there are other tributes besides. If we did split up, just the three of us, we could easily be overpowered by the Careers, or even the other tributes if they were dedicated enough.”

There’s sense in what he says, but Rey wishes he’d change his mind. She wishes the two of them could just hide in this stupid cave until they’re the only ones left, and while Ben is sleeping she would slit her own throat so he could go home. 

“Maybe we won’t even have to turn on each other,” Cassian suggests, his back to them. “Maybe the Careers will kill all of us.”

“Maybe,” Rey allows.

Cassian turns to look at her. “Come here.”

“What?” She tenses. “Why?”

“I need to whisper something in your ear.”

She whips her head to look at Ben, who is regarding Cassian coolly. “What are you going to whisper in her ear?”

“Not what you think,” Cassian says flatly. “But she needs to hear it.”

Rey hesitates, then stumbles towards Cassian. He presses his lips to her ear, cupping his hands around them so no one can read his lips. 

“Do you remember what I told you about Paige?” he breathes against her ear. “I still mean that. My whole life, no one gave a shit about kids from my district. I’d given up hope. But you protected Paige with your life. She told you that we win not by killing what we hate, but by saving what we love. I’m going to save you, Rey, and you’re going to win. Even if that means killing my allies or even killing myself.”

Rey’s cheeks are wet with tears when she shakes her head. “ _ Don’t _ —“

“You think I have so much to live for?” he whispers. “You think death is so scary for me?  _ You _ are the Mockingjay, and if anyone needs to win this game, it’s you.” He steps away, but Rey grabs him and hugs him fiercely.

“ _ What _ is going on?” Ben thunders. 

“I’ve seduced her,” Cassian teases. “You’re solo now, Solo.”

Ben does not look the least bit amused.

“Sorry, I forgot how jealous you are.” Cassian steps back. “I’m going to take a leak. Have a nice lover’s quarrel.” And he wanders towards a set of stalagmites.

Rey wraps her arms around Ben’s waist and stands on her toes to whisper, “We can trust him.”

“What did he say?” he whispers back.

She shakes her head. “Just...something Paige said once.”

His eyes soften and he bends down to kiss her. “I love you,” he murmurs.

Rey buries her face in his vest, suddenly overcome. She’s so  _ stupid _ . It’s for show, this is all for show and she knows it, has been playing along herself, but her heart  _ lifted _ when he said those words. Stupid, stupid,  _ stupid _ . 

“I love you too,” she mumbles, because it looks weird, doesn’t it, if he says it to her and she doesn’t say it back? 

And maybe.

Well.

Maybe she means it. Just a little bit.

“All right, lovebirds—ready to go?”

Rey nods and starts to set off, but Ben grabs her hand again. She looks up, gives him the kind of smile she thinks girls give the men they love, and starts walking. 

They haven’t made it much further when a shout stops them. 

“ _ Cassian _ ?”

Rey tenses as she sees Jyn Erso, but the other woman pays her no mind. She and Cassian run towards each other, flinging their arms around each other and shouting excitedly. Rey glances at Ben, who looks just as nonplussed as her. 

“We wondered where you’d got to!”

“We were looking for you!”

“We’ve been here the whole time!”

“Who’s we?” Rey asks.

Jyn finally notices her. “The rest of your alliance, of course.” She looks remarkably less happy to see Rey and Ben. “Oh, wipe the disappointed look off your face, sweetheart—you picked a good alliance, but they would’ve died in the bloodbath if I hadn’t saved their asses. You can thank me later.” She throws an arm around Cassian. “Come on and say hi to everyone.” She and Cassian lead the way.

“I don’t like this,” Rey says. 

“She has a point,” Ben mutters. “Bodhi, Baze, and Chirrut aren’t the most...organized people.”

He’s right, but why does Jyn know about this alliance? Something isn’t quite right. 

Bodhi is sitting near the mouth of the cave, fiddling with something mechanical in his lap. Baze and Chirrut are sitting against the wall, but they all perk up at the arrival of the others.

“You made it!” Bodhi exclaims. “We were afraid you wouldn’t know where to find us.”

“You didn’t make it easy,” Cassian says, ruffling the younger man’s hair. 

“Do you have any food or water?” Baze asks.

“No water, but we do have rations,” Rey says.

There’s a sigh of relief as Cassian pulls the rations out of his backpack and passes them around. 

“No luck down here?”

Jyn shakes her head. “Nothing.” She frowns. “What do you mean down here?”

“We scaled the cliffs and ended up on top of the mountains,” Ben tells her. “There’s water up there, but not much.”

The other four consider this.

“How far?” Chirrut asks.

“A long climb up,” Rey says. “But the tunnel we found wasn’t  _ too _ far from the water, was it?”

“Not too far,” Cassian agrees. “But it’s not ideal for a group this big.”

“Nothing about this situation is ideal,” Jyn grumbles. 

“What about the Careers? Have they been a problem?” Ben asks.

Jyn shakes her head again. “They’ve been staying close to the Cornucopia.”

“That’s unusual.” Rey wanders closer to the mouth, peering out at the Cornucopia. “They don’t usually hide.”

“They’re planning something,” Baze says. “They want us to try to attack.”

“We’ve been arguing about this,” Jyn says in a bored tone. “I think we have the numbers—now, anyway—to take them, but Baze thinks they’re trying to lure us.”

“Do you think they have anything worthwhile?” Rey asks. “Anything worth risking our necks?”

“I don’t know, but it beats sitting around here going dehydrated.”

“Do you know where the other three are?” Ben asks. 

The others shake their heads.

Cassian takes a seat beside Bodhi. “What’s that you’re working on?”

“A bomb,” says Bodhi. “Just in case.”

Rey remembers that Bodhi won his games by blowing up the other tributes. She wonders if he’ll do it again. 

She stands up suddenly. “Oh my god.”

“What?” several voices ask at once.

“We can use the bomb to blow up the Careers!”

“I think they’ll notice if we drop off a ticking bomb,” Baze remarks in a dry tone. 

Rey shakes her head. “Not if it comes from over the cliff.”

There’s a pregnant pause as they consider it.

“That’s fucking crazy,” Jyn says at last. 

“Do you have a better plan?”

“I said it was crazy, I didn’t say I didn’t like it.” Jyn is actually smiling. “An aerial attack. They’ll never see it coming.”

“Rey, you’re killing me,” Cassian huffs. “After climbing all the way down here, you want us to climb all the way back up?”

“I ask again: do you have a better plan?”

They do not. 

“Can you do it?” Ben asks Bodhi.

He blinks. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

“Well,” Baze rumbles. “Let’s go.” 

  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the words of Effie Trinket:
> 
> UP, UP, UP, UP! THIS IS GOING TO BE BIG, BIG, BIG CHAPTER.
> 
> Feel free to scream at me after (: (: (:

Ben uses his flashlight freely, knowing that even if they encounter all three of the other tributes (and there’s little chance of that), the seven of them have the advantage. Everyone is tired, made worse by the dehydration and, in the case of Rey, Ben, and Cassian, having been walking and crawling all day. Tempers start to rise, and Rey personally thinks that she might not have to wait until after the other six tributes are dead to start killing off her allies.

It’s a relief when they reach the chamber. They stop for a small rest, Rey gratefully dropping to the ground to rest her legs. Ben sits beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist and tugging her closer. He buries his lips in her hair and whispers, “What did Cassian say to you?”

She turns her head to nuzzle him. “He told me he’d die for me.”

Ben’s breath is a short, hot snort. “Really?”

“Mm-hmm.” She kisses his lips, then whispers in his ear, “He called me the Mockingjay.” They look for all the world like a loving couple completely engrossed in one another--and if Rey’s being honest, she  _ is _ completely engrossed by him. 

Ben kisses her, but there’s no message he relays after. He just. Kisses her. 

Rey tries not to think about how natural her reactions are to him. That’ll only make it harder in the end.

“ _ Ben _ !”

The chatter around them stops as they hear a new voice, one that’s strained and afraid.

Ben looks around. “What…”

“ _ Ben _ !”

“Mom!” he shouts, vaulting to his feet.

Rey climbs to her own feet. There’s no way Leia could be here. This is some trick of the Capitol.

“ _ Ben _ !”

“Mom!” He runs towards the voice, and Rey has no choice but to run after him. 

“Ben, be careful--”

He runs through the chamber and into the opposite tunnel, Rey tearing after him. She can hear the others behind her, calling after them. 

“ _ Rey _ !” 

She stumbles at the sound of her name. At the sound of that voice.

“Paige?” she calls out uncertainly.

“ _ Rey _ !” 

“No,” Rey says. “No, you’re not real, you’re not real!” She chases after Ben. “Ben! It isn’t real, don’t listen--”

Something swoops low, rustling past her head. A bat?

Cassian catches up to her. “They’re jabberjays!” he shouts as the cries become louder. “They’re jabberjays, they’re not real!”

Ben seems to have realized this, because he stops short. “Yeah?” he throws over his shoulder. “And how do you think they got that sound? Jabberjays  _ copy _ .”

The implication hits Rey at once. The Capitol didn’t make the jabberjays say any of these things because jabberjays aren’t intelligent enough to invent noises. They had to have heard it from somewhere, which means the agonized screams she hears from Leia...are real. “Ben,” Rey calls.

“ _ Rey _ !”

“No,” she says firmly. “No, you’re not real, go away…”

“ _ Rey _ !”

“Stop,” she shouts, covering her ears. 

“ _ Jyn _ !”

“Papa!”

A flock of birds flaps into the tunnel; Ben’s flashlight rolls to the side, leaving them in a terrifying darkness of screams and shouts. 

“Stop!” Rey shrieks. “Stop, stop, make it  _ stop _ !”

Something touches her and she shrieks even louder, but a strong pair of arms pull her down and she realizes it’s Ben. He pulls her down to the ground and wraps his arms around her so tightly she fears he’ll break her rib cage. He’s trembling; they both are. She buries her face in his shoulder, screaming to drown out the sounds of the jabberjays. It’s like one of her nightmares, only she can’t wake up from this one. All she can do is listen to Paige crying out for her, to Han and Luke and Leia screaming for their son and nephew. Rey screams until her throat is raw, until her lungs are so sore she fears she may pass out. But she doesn’t; she hears every last jabberjay until they fly out of the tunnel, called back by the gamemakers. Or so she assumes--surely the Capitol has seen enough of this particular brand of torture.

There’s a flash of light, and they look up to see Baze holding the flashlight. Rey is stunned to see Jyn sobbing, shaking fingers covering her face. Cassian strides over to her, sits on the ground beside her and wraps his arms around her. “It’s okay,” he murmurs. “It’s okay, it’s over, he’s fine, your father’s fine, I’ve got you.”

Ben pulls back to look at Rey. His face is paler than usual, his eyes more haunted, but he looks at her in concern. “Are you okay?” he rasps.

She shrugs, still trembling. “Are you?”

He shakes his head. 

“Yeah,” she says quietly. “Me either.”

He pulls her to him again. 

“I think,” Baze says in the gentlest tone Rey has ever heard him use, “we need to get out of here.”

He’s right, of course; now that they’re together, the gamemakers are going to do everything they can to take them down, and a moving target is much harder to take down than a stationary one. 

Everyone struggles to their feet, taking deep breaths. Ben takes Rey’s hand, threading their fingers together. Baze swings the flashlight around the tunnel. “Does anyone remember where we came in?”

There’s a deafening pause where they realize that none of them remember. 

“It was that way, wasn’t it?” Cassian says uncertainly. 

They head back the direction Cassian indicates, but instead of opening up into the chamber, it only takes them to the cross between three more tunnels. 

“This way,” Chirrut says, taking them down the second tunnel. 

“This isn’t the way we came,” Jyn protests.

“No,” he agreed, his stick gliding ahead of him. “But there’s air in this tunnel.”

Jyn tears after him. “ _ Fresh _ air?”

“Yes. When you can’t see, you have to rely on your other senses,” Chirrut says. “And there’s fresh air in this tunnel.”

“But it isn’t the same tunnel as the one we came in,” Rey says aloud to Ben.

“No, but the gamemakers might have made multiple tunnels going up,” he points out. 

“Yes, but we don’t know where this one is going. At least we knew the other one wasn’t far from water, but we have no idea where we are now. It could take us anywhere.”

“We don’t have a lot of options, Rey.”

“I know,” she mutters. “It’s just...better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”

He raises their joined hands to kiss her knuckle. “I know. We just have to stay positive.”

She snorts. “ _ You’re _ telling  _ me _ to stay positive?”

“Shut up.”

She and Ben are bringing up the rear, so they’re the first to hear it. It’s such a soft noise, almost like the tinkle of a bell. They slow to a halt.

“Do you hear that?”

He nods. “It sounds almost like...salt. Like it’s falling.”

“Or just...moving.”

The noise grows louder, gets closer. 

“Guys?” Cassian is turning to look at them. “What—“

A pair of glowing, almond-shaped eyes appears in the darkness behind them. The rest of the group stops, seeing that something has attracted Rey, Ben, and Cassian’s attention. Another pair of eyes materializes, and then another, until soon it seems as if the whole tunnel is full of eyes. 

“Rey,” Ben says quietly. “Get behind me. Slowly.”

But she’s frozen to the spot, because she has a horrible feeling about all this. 

Baze swings the flashlight around, illuminating dozens of white, crystalline creatures. They look vaguely like foxes, and they look very much like they’re ready to attack. 

“Mutts!” Cassian shouts, and the first of the creatures charges forward. Rey uses her staff to knock back the first of their assailants; Ben cuts them down with his sword. The others flood in to help them, and dimly, Rey hears Cassian screaming, “Take her, get her out of here!” 

In one swift movement, Ben grabs Rey and tosses her over his shoulder like she weighs nothing. “ _ Ben _ !” she howls, but he runs past the others. 

“Bodhi!” he shouts. “Come on!”

Bodhi, who is virtually untrained in combat, eagerly trips after them. Rey watches the others as Ben runs, still carrying her. There are so many mutts, and Rey knows it only takes minutes for the gamemakers to generate more. Like some awful hydra, every time one dies, two more spring up in its place. They’re fighting a losing battle. 

Ben and Bodhi stumble to a halt; when Rey twists around, she sees that the tunnel is blocked by large rocks. She’s seen this in 5, seen boulders tumble down the mountains and wreak havoc. Rey has a feeling she knows just who made those boulders fall. 

“Can we climb out?” Bodhi asks.

“Probably not.” Ben finally sets down Rey, but he grabs her hand again like he’s afraid she’s going to run away. “Even if we could, it would take days, and we don’t have any tools.”

“We’re stuck,” Rey says.

“No...no, not stuck.” Ben’s eyes are glinting. “Bodhi, how long would it take you to reassemble that bomb?”

“Just a few minutes.” Bodhi’s own eyes widen. “You want to blow up this rock wall?”

“Yes.”

Rey gapes. It could work. It really could. 

“What do you need?” Ben asks.

Bodhi sits down, pulling out the contents of his bag. “I have everything I need. Just...make sure I don’t get eaten first.”

“I can manage that.” Ben twirls his sword. 

“Should we help the others?” Rey asks. 

He shakes his head. “We should stay here. They’re handling it.” 

“I don’t know.” Rey watches the fight. There are  _ so many  _ mutts, and the others are already sporting wounds. It won’t take long for one of them to fall. “They could use the help.”

Ben makes a noise of irritation. “Fine, then I’ll go and you stay.”

“No.” She scowls up at him. “I promised your mother I’d get you home, and I’m not breaking that promise.”

“I made a promise too,” he says hotly. “You’re not getting in that fight, end of discussion.”

“ _ Yes, _ I am—“

He practically slams Rey into the tunnel wall, and before she can protest he kisses her fiercely. It’s all she can do to respond, her arms winding around his neck so that her trembling legs don’t give out. It doesn’t matter that their allies are fighting for their lives a few yards away or that Bodhi is building a bomb just a few feet away—this may well be the last kiss they ever share.

“I love you,” she gasps. It’s true. It’s always been true. 

“I love you,” he returns, but she shakes her head fiercely.

“No, you don’t understand.” Tears are streaking down her cheeks. “I mean I  _ really _ love you, Ben.”

She doesn’t know if he understands what she means. Does he know that her feelings for him have gone beyond this show they’ve been putting on for the Capitol? Or does he think this is more acting?

Something flickers in his eyes, and then he murmurs, “I know.”

There’s an agonized shout coming from the fray, and when they turn to look, they see Baze trying to tear three mutts off of a prone Chirrut.

“ _ No _ !” Rey tries to push past Ben, but his grip is strong. “Let me  _ go _ —“

“I’m so sorry about this, but you aren’t giving me a choice.” And with one swift movement, Ben knocks her head into the wall. 

Everything goes black.

  
  



	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears! I was going to update on Tuesday, but I got some VERY sweet anons last night, so I decided to update early :)
> 
> I would say enjoy, but you probably won't. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

When Rey wakes up, her head and her arm are throbbing. She opens her eyes, blinks, and immediately closes her eyes again. It’s bright, wherever she is, and it makes the throbbing in her head worse. It’s almost like her head is humming. No, she realizes, it isn’t her head, it’s the _ground_.

She shifts her head to the side and slowly opens her eyes. She’s definitely not in the arena. The room she’s in is cool and blue, and along the wall are seats. She’s in the same kind of hovercraft that plucked her out of the arena last time, which can only mean…

She glances around her, fighting past the pain in her head. There’s no one else here. Just her. She looks down at her arm and sees it wrapped in a bandage. Her tracker, she realizes—it’s gone. There’s an IV in her other arm, attached to a pouch of some clear solution. She puts the puzzle pieces together and lets out a sob. She won. She was the last survivor and now they’re flying back to the Capitol. The others—Ben, Bodhi, Cassian, Baze, Chirrut, Jyn—they’re all dead. She buries her face in her hands and cries. _Ben_ . He’s dead. He died for _her_.

Crying only makes her head hurt worse. She makes herself stop, holding her throbbing head until the pain subsides. When it finally does, she decides to go in search of the people on this craft and ask what happened—how Ben managed to keep her alive for the rest of the games. She plucks the IV from her arm, hardly caring about the blood that wells up there, and gets to her feet. It’s an arduous process in her weakened state, and she doesn’t walk so much as lurch and sway to the door. She’s expecting the door to be locked, so when it opens, she stumbles into the next room, grappling with the frame so she doesn’t fall. Hands move her to a seat against the wall, and when she looks up to see their faces, she can only feel shock.

“ _Han_?”

He gives her a shaky smile. “Hey, kid,” he says softly.

Rey looks at the assembly of people in the room. Han, Luke, Leia, Bodhi...and Amilyn Holdo.

“What’s happening?” Her voice is slurring, just a little.

No one answers her right away. Forcing herself to enunciate, she repeats, “What. Is. Happening?”

“We took you out of the arena,” Leia says at last. “We’ve been planning this for months.”

Rey stares at her, struggling to comprehend. “Months?”

“Ever since Snoke announced the Quarter Quell,” the older woman confirms. She takes a seat close to Rey. “You don’t understand how important you are to our cause, Rey. You’ve been the symbol of the Resistance for a year—people are joining our ranks _because of you_ . We’ve always had a fight with the Capitol, but you’ve given people something much more powerful than anger or fear; you’ve given them _hope_.”

Rey’s head is still swimming, and nothing Leia is saying is helping. “I don’t understand...you’ve been planning to take me out of the games because...because people think I’m the Mockingjay?”

“That’s a gross oversimplification...but essentially, yes,” Luke says from where he’s leaning against the table. “Nothing that happened in the arena was an accident. Bodhi building a bomb, the jabberjays, the mutts…”

“I sent the jabberjays,” Amilyn Holdo supplies. “The location was set in stone from the beginning, but your group was headed the wrong way. I had to disorient you.”

“Yeah, well thanks for that,” Rey snaps. “Thanks for those mutts, too.”

“That wasn’t me,” Holdo says calmly. “I’d already departed by that point. That was the work of the other gamemakers, trying to keep you all from getting too close to the edge of the arena.”

Rey glances at Bodhi. “You knew about this?”

“No,” Bodhi says quickly, his eyes wide. “I didn’t know anything, not until we were picked up.”

“Bodhi is, no offense, not great at keeping secrets,” Han explains. “We wanted him to go in blind. Jyn Erso, on the other hand, is a professional secret-keeper, and we knew she’d deliver Bodhi.”

So that’s why Jyn was her ally. Rey glances around and realizes that something is off about this whole scene. “Where’s Ben?”

There’s that silence again.

“Is he dead?” she asks, voice cracking.

“No,” Han says. “But I wish he was.”

“ _Han_.” Leia’s eyes flash. “He’s still alive, but...we had to leave him behind.”

Rey can hardly believe what she’s hearing. “He’s your _son_.”

“Leaving him was never part of the plan.” Leia’s eyes are damp. “When Bodhi’s bomb took down the rock wall, it also opened a hole in the arena. Ben got you to the hovercraft, and then he went back for the others. Only Bodhi made it before we were under fire. We had to pull out, otherwise the Capitol would have taken _all_ of us.”

Rey sobs into her hands. Oh, _Ben._

“As soon as we have the means, we’re going back for Ben,” Leia promises softly.

“But how long is that going to take?”

Silence.

Rey lifts her head, the edges of her vision going dark. “I don’t feel well,” she says, and then everything goes black once more.

.

She wakes up on a bed in a starch-white room that smells like antiseptic. There’s a curtain around her bed, and machines that make intermittent beeps. She’s hooked up to an IV again, but she doesn’t pluck it out this time; she reaches for the button on her lap and presses.

A woman in medical scrubs comes in minutes, a smile on her face. “There she is. How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

The woman takes it in stride. “That doesn’t surprise me. You’ve been dehydrated, but you should be back on track now.”

She asks Rey an endless stream of questions as she examines her, feeling her bones and asking her to breathe deeply. Rey endures it, too tired to put up a fight. What’s the point, anyway? She doesn’t even know where she is.

_Not in the Capitol_ , she thinks, and the thought both relieves and overwhelms her. She’s safe here, wherever here is, only the best for the precious Mockingjay (she sees, now, why Jyn hates her so much), but _Ben_ is in the Capitol. Leia made Rey promise to take care of him, and then she left him behind. She valued Rey more than her own son.

“Oh, there, there,” the woman croons as Rey begins to cry. “Everything will be all right, darling. You’re safe now.”

_But Ben isn’t, Ben and Cassian and Jyn and Baze are in the Capitol, Chirrut is dead, I wish I was dead too—_

“Do you want to see the General?”

Rey wipes a hand across her face. “Who?”

“General Skywalker? Or Solo, if you’re old-fashioned.”

Rey blinks at her. “Leia...is a General?”

The woman actually laughs. “Not just _a_ General, dear, _the_ General. She’s the head of the Resistance.”

That explains so much.

“She’s a busy woman, but she’s been asking about you, and I know she’d make time to come visit you if you wanted—“

“No.” Rey doesn’t want to see Leia, or Luke, or Han. “I don’t want to see her right now. What about Bodhi?”

The woman laughs again and pulls back the curtain. Bodhi is on the other side, in a hospital bed just like hers. “The general thought you’d like the company,” she says.

Bodhi waves a meek hand. “Hi, Rey.”

“Hi, Bodhi.”

“Well, I’ll just leave you two to catch up. Ring if you need me.” The woman leaves them.  

Bodhi gets out of his bed. He’s wearing a white gown and thermal pants just like her. He sits on Rey’s bed. “This is all so bizarre.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “Bizarre.”

“I swear I wasn’t hiding anything from you,” he says earnestly, and Rey remembers what Ben said before, about how Bodhi lacked common sense. Of course they didn’t entrust him with any secrets. He was just as in the dark as she.

“I know,” she says, and he relaxes. “Where are we?”

“The Resistance base...somewhere in the old District 13.”

13\. The entire district had been annihilated in the rebellion. It was such a great loss to the rebellion that they’d surrendered to the Capitol. The Hunger Games had started not long after that, a way for the Capitol to feel justified for all that had happened to them. As if they hadn’t destroyed an entire district and countless other lives.

“How?” is all she can ask.

He shrugs. “It’s been going on for years, apparently. I still don’t understand a lot of it. But they’re up and functioning, and they have support in all the districts, even 1 and 2. There’s a whole army. It sounds like we can take the Capitol if we plan correctly.”

“Is it we already?”

He flushes. “I mean...we’re here, aren’t we? The Resistance brought us here.”

Rey doesn’t have the heart to tell Bodhi that they only brought her here because she’s a symbol of something she never agreed to in the first place. “What about the other tributes? There were still six in the arena, weren’t there?”

“I don’t know what happened to them. The Capitol isn’t saying anything about the games, just that there’s been an unexpected complication.”

“They wouldn’t...hurt them, would they?”

Bodhi shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know. They had no way of knowing, so they probably won’t be under interrogation, but...who knows anymore?”

“How long has it been?”

“Just a few days, I think.” He shrugs again. “I had a panic attack when we got here. They had to sedate me pretty heavily.”

Rey feels a pang of guilt. Poor Bodhi. At least the others knew what they were getting into. Bodhi is just like her, dragged into this war without knowing until it’s too late. She reaches forward and hugs him.

“I wish none of this had ever happened,” she mumbles into his shoulder. “I wish I’d died last year.”

“Hey, don’t say that.” Bodhi rubs her back. “You gave people hope.”

“Everyone keeps saying that.”

“It’s true. Rey, no one thought they could stand up to the Capitol until you did it.” He pulls back to look at her. “Jyn’s father was taken to the Capitol as soon as she turned eighteen, you know? They say it’s because he’s such a talented scientist and they want him to work on their weapons technology, but really it’s because she was so outspoken. They keep him there so she won’t speak out anymore. And Cassian...his whole family’s dead. None of us was brave enough to say or do anything. Until you.”

“I regretted it,” she tells him. “As soon as I realized what it meant, I wished I was dead. I wished I’d never won the games.”

“It isn’t just the games,” he insists. “You stood up for that boy when he was being whipped, a total stranger—just like you volunteered for that other boy. You _care_ about people, and you don’t let the Capitol tell you right from wrong when you know what’s right in your heart.”

“You make me sound like such a hero, but I’m not. I just did those things because I wasn’t thinking.”

“That’s what I’m saying!” he says excitedly. “Your first instinct is to protect people. Of course the Resistance loves you and the Capitol hates you.”

The woman in scrubs returns, this time bearing a tray. “It’s time you eat something with your mouth instead of an IV,” she chirps.

The food is bland, and it’s been several days since Rey has had anything to eat, so it doesn’t go down without a struggle. Bodhi chatters while she eats, and that makes it a little easier.

It’s apparently nighttime, so the lights dim not long after Rey eats. The woman asks if she wants to stay up, but Bodhi is going to sleep so Rey decides to too.

“It’s good to get back on a regular schedule,” the woman tells her cheerfully, as if a schedule will solve all of Rey’s problems.

Sleep doesn’t come easily. Rey lies in her hospital bed and stares at the wall. It’s been almost an hour when she hears footsteps. Probably that insufferably cheerful woman again. Rey lies still, pretending to sleep so that she’ll go away.

“...heard she woke up today.”

“She might be sleeping now.”

“I know. I just want to see.”

Rey tenses. Han and Leia. She doesn’t want to see them. She’ll just keep pretending to be asleep. The curtain parts and she forces herself to remain still.

“Told you, she’s asleep.”

“I just wanted to see.” There’s a long pause, and then the curtain closes.

Rey waits until she hears their footsteps recede, and then she rolls onto her back. She’s so _angry_ that it exhausts her. Leia promised they’d get Ben as soon as they were able, and Rey thinks she might just sleep until that happens, because she doesn’t much see the point of being the symbol of the Resistance while Ben is trapped in the Capitol.

Her plan to sleep nonstop is foiled when she wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming. Medics she doesn’t recognize surround her and give her a sedative, and Rey fights it until they administer a second dose and it knocks her right out. She wakes late in the morning, finds Bodhi tinkering with something in his lap.

“What’s that?” she rasps.

He smiles shyly. “Just a radio. I like fiddling with things.”

Rey watches him mess with the radio. It looks like he’s just taking it apart and putting it back together again. When he’s done with the radio, they bring him a camera. He does the same thing as before, just takes it apart and puts it back together. Destroy, create. Lather, rinse, repeat.

A medic comes to examine them both later, announces that they’re both fit and healthy and ready to move into their bunks. The bunks, as it turns out, are small rooms in an endless, identical sea. Rey’s bunk is next to Bodhi’s, for which she is relieved--he is her only friend here.

She doesn’t leave for a couple of weeks. They bring her food that she barely touches. She wakes up every night screaming. Bodhi visits often, always tinkering with something. Sometimes she tinkers with him, asking him to explain what he’s doing. She learns more about wiring and electricity in those hours with him than she has in a lifetime of living in 5. One day he brings her a holo, but instead of taking it apart, he shows her the last ten minutes of the Quarter Quell.

The holo picks up right as she’s struggling to get to the others. Ben takes her head and knocks it into the wall, and Rey immediately goes limp. He catches her, and sets her down gently, so gently on the ground. Bodhi looks up in shock, but Ben barks at him to hurry, they don’t have time. Bodhi does, fingers remarkably steady, and scrambles up the rocks to place the bomb as close to the center of the wall as possible.

“We have one minute!”

He scrambles for cover; Ben picks up Rey and does the same. She watches him shield her body as the bomb goes off, and then everything goes black.

“I know it isn’t much,” Bodhi says apologetically. “But I thought maybe...I don’t know. You’d want to see it.”

Rey hugs him. He leaves the holo with her, and she watches those last ten minutes over and over.

  



	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooo everyone!! Your reactions to the last chapter were super fun to read--glad y'all haven't killed me (yet).

She’s been in the Resistance base for fifteen days when there’s a knock at the door. “Come in,” she calls, expecting Bodhi.

It’s not Bodhi.

“Rey Niima?” The soldier stands at attention. “I’ve been given orders to escort you to General Skywalker.”

“I don’t want to see her.”

Some of his composure slips. Clearly, he had not anticipated this reaction. “She specifically asked for you.”

Rey pretends to consider it. “No.”

“It’s  _ General Skywalker _ ,” he says, dropping his rigid stance. “How can you refuse that woman?!”

“Like this. I don’t want to see her.”

If his hair wasn’t so closely cropped to his head, Rey imagines he’d be tearing at it now. He stomps out of her bunk, leaving the door open; a moment later, he returns with Bodhi. 

“Rey, please,” her friend urges. “You can’t hide in here forever.”

“Just watch me.”

“Rey.” He tries to look stern. “This is really important, okay?”

“So you know what this is about?” 

“Yes, and I also know that if you don’t go voluntarily, Finn here will carry you.”

They stare each other down. Finally, Rey relents. She doesn’t want to see Leia, but she’d rather go with her dignity still intact. So she tugs on her boots and runs her fingers through her hair before following the two men. It’s a long walk, and it’s silent the whole way. None of them feel like speaking. The soldier leads them to a conference room, where Leia, Han, Luke, and Amilyn Holdo are sitting around a polished table. Leia instantly rises to clasp Rey’s hand. 

“Rey. I’m so glad you agreed to join us.”

Rey doesn’t say anything. 

“Please, have a seat,” Leia urges. “Thank you, Finn.”

The soldier nods and leaves the room.

“I won’t beat around the bush,” Leia says. “I know you’re upset. I don’t blame you. We all are. And I know it’s easy to sit and stew, but I need your help.  _ Ben _ needs your help.”

Rey feels her interest prick despite herself. “What do you want from me?”

It’s Holdo who speaks. “People view you as a symbol of the Resistance. For the first time in 75 years,  _ all _ of the districts are willing to unite under a shared cause and fight the Capitol. We may not have a chance like this for another 75 years. We want to strike while the iron is hot.”

Rey shrugs. “Okay. But what do you want from  _ me _ ?”

“We want you to be the Mockingjay.” This time it’s Luke, looking far more tired than she’s ever seen him. “We want you to become the official symbol of the Resistance.”

“I thought you said people already view me as a symbol of the Resistance.”

“They do,” Leia says. “But we want you to use your Mockingjay status to publicly and officially support the Resistance.”

Rey closes her eyes. “Snoke asked me to do the same thing for Coruscant.”

“Your opinion matters a lot to people. This can be a...confusing time for people who don’t feel strongly about the Capitol or the Resistance. They need a strong character, a  _ hero _ , even, to turn to in this time of war. Snoke may be coldblooded, but he isn’t an idiot. He knows just as well as we do that people will have their eyes on you.”

Rey considers this. “How will this help Ben?”

“If the districts officially join our cause, their cooperation means an extraction for Ben and the others. But if we don’t have their official cooperation, then it’s one more enemy state we have to plan around.”

Rey does the mental math. The Capitol is nearly on the opposite side of the country. There’s no way they can extract Ben and the others without cover from the other districts. Leia’s right--they have to unite. And maybe, just maybe, she’s right about Rey. “What do I have to do?” 

“Nothing you haven’t done before,” Holdo says. “We plan to film short propos, no more than a few minutes in length, where you announce your dedication to the Resistance.”

Rey considers this. “That’s it?”

“For now,” Holdo says with a mysterious smile.

Everyone in the room is watching Rey. She chews her lip, drums her fingers on the tabletop. “Okay,” she says at last. “I’ll be your Mockingjay.”

The room seems to sag in relief.

“Good.” Holdo jots something down on her datapad. “Let’s meet tomorrow at ten. I should have something cooked up by then.”

“Are we done here?” Rey asks.

Leia says, “Almost; before you go, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” 

Rey tenses as the others file out of the room. She waits until they’re all gone to turn to Leia. “Is there really someone, or are you just trying to get me alone?”

“There is someone,” Leia confirms. “But as long as I have you here…” She leans forward. “Rey, I know you’re angry with me. I promise you that I’m angry at myself too. But I need you to understand that Ben knew what was at stake. He knew there was a possibility that he wouldn’t make it out. He agreed that getting you to the Resistance was the top priority.”

“You made me promise to look after him,” Rey accuses. 

“I did that so you wouldn’t wander off. Jyn, Cassian, Baze, and Chirrut were all given careful instructions to protect you, Ben, and Bodhi at all costs. We weren’t sure what would happen in the games—we were planning for a worst case scenario. We had to be sure that when the time came, you would be with Ben so that he could get you out of the arena.”

Before Rey can retort, the soldier from before pokes his head in the room. “General Skywalker, I brought the mechanic.”

_ Mechanic? _

“Excellent, bring her in.” Leia gets to her feet as a short young woman in mechanic’s coveralls enters the room. Something about her is distinctly familiar. “Rey, this is Rose Tico. Paige was her sister.”

Rey’s stomach drops. 

Rose is looking up at Rey in barely-contained awe. 

“I’ll leave you two to get acquainted,” Leia says before gliding out of the room. 

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Rose blurts, her face red. “I wanted to when you came on your Victory Tour, but...they wouldn’t let us.”

“I wish I’d gotten to meet you too,” Rey rasps. She clears her throat. “Did they...did they ever end up giving you the money I donated?”

“No,” Rose laughs, a sweet, tinkling sound. “But we really appreciated it.” 

“I’m sorry,” Rey says quietly. “I never wanted Paige to die for me...if I’d known then what I know now—“

“Please don’t.” Rose takes her hand. “I’m so proud of Paige. She could’ve let that mutt kill you, but she didn’t. She knew that jumping in front of you would kill her and she did it anyway because she thought your life was worth saving.” 

It feels churlish to disagree. “I hope she was right.”

“She was,” Rose says with confidence. “I know she was.” She hesitates. “I’m sorry if I make you uncomfortable.”

“No,” Rey says far too quickly. “No, you’re...you’re perfect. I’m just having a hard time adjusting to...everything.”

Rose nods. “It was hard for me too. It’s so different from 12. But there’s always food here, and no Peacekeepers. Well,” she amends, “except for Finn.”

“Finn? The soldier?”

Rose nods again. “He used to be a Peacekeeper, but he defected. You inspired him to join the Resistance.”

Rey blinks. “I did?”

That nod again. “People really look up to you,” she says in earnest.

Rey considers this. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Do you think...if I went public with my support for the Resistance, if I became the Mockingjay...do you think people would side with the Resistance? People who wouldn’t have before.”

“Yes.” Rose doesn’t hesitate. “ _ Everyone _ in the districts is suffering right now. If they see you keep standing up to the Capitol, they’ll stand up with you. They want to fight back, but first they have to know it’s possible. You have to show them it can be done.”

Rey doesn’t know why everyone has so much faith in her when she has none in herself. 

Finn escorts her back to her bunk because she has no idea how to get there on her own. She keeps staring at his back, thinking about what Rose told her. 

“Were you really a Peacekeeper?” she blurts.

He turns to look at her. “Yes.”

She jogs forward to walk beside him. “Rose said…” She doesn’t know how to say “I inspired you” without sounding...well. “Rose told me you defected,” she finishes lamely.

“It was the right thing to do,” he mumbles. 

“Are there other Peacekeepers like you?”

“Traitors to the Capitol?” he snorts. “None that I know of, but anonymity was sort of a big thing with them. I don’t really broadcast it around here, you know?”

Rey doesn’t know, but she can imagine that the Resistance base is not the best place to advertise one’s status as a former Peacekeeper. “I’m sorry if you didn’t want me to know.”

He shrugs. “I don’t broadcast it, but I don’t hide it, either.” They stop, and Rey realizes that they’ve come to her bunk. Finn turns fully to her. “I know it’s not my place to say...but I think what you’re doing is very brave.” With that, he leaves, marching down the corridor and out of sight. 

.

Rey makes sure to shower and scrub her face in the morning, conscious of the fact that she’ll be on camera and that the Resistance probably doesn’t have a team of stylists ready to transform her. When she gets to the room where Holdo wants to meet, she’s surprised to see that there is, in fact, a stylist.

“Rey,” Holdo greets her warmly. “This is Lando Calrissian. He used to be a stylist for the Capitol, but he’s decided to join our ranks and has graciously agreed to act as your stylist.”

“My dear Miss Niima,” he says, kissing her hand as if he’s wooing her. “I admit I’m not  _ quite _ up to Maz’s caliber, but I think you’ll be satisfied with the results.”

“Don’t listen to a word he says.” Han strides up, clapping the other man on the shoulder. “And  _ especially _ don’t invite him over for drinks—you’ll wake up with a hangover and no liquor.”

Rey is not thrilled at the idea of a smooth-talking friend of Han’s being her stylist, but as soon as they step into the storage closet which has been reappropriated into a dressing room, he becomes serious. 

“Maz is a close friend of mine,” he tells Rey as he applies simple makeup. “She and I shared similar views about the Capitol. I tried to get her out when I left, but she was too tightly monitored.”

“You saw her?” Rey asks excitedly. “Is she all right?”

“Last I heard, she’s hiding with a mutual friend. He’ll take care of her.” 

Well, that’s good to hear. “Do you know about Cee and Artoo?”

“Unless I’m very much mistaken, they went into hiding with her.”

Rey feels herself genuinely smile for the first time in a long time. Cee and Artoo famously don’t get along—she wonders how they’ll take to going into hiding together. Furthermore, she wonders how Maz will be able to stand it, if at all. 

Lando stands back to examine his work and nods. “All right, let’s get you suited up.”

Rey is to wear an orange jumpsuit like the ones she sees on many of the soldiers around the base. 

Lando helps her figure out the various belts and accoutrements, and then he carefully recreates her signature three-bun hairdo. The finishing touch is her mockingjay pin affixed just over her heart. When he declares her camera ready, she heads out to meet with Holdo and Han. 

“Okay, Rey,” Holdo says with a smile. “We’re going to have you stand up there,” she indicates a platform, “and pretend you’re addressing a crowd.”

“Okay.” Rey obligingly climbs onto the platform. Lando hands her a staff. 

“Now make sure to hold that up when you speak--that’s gonna be your flag. Now your line is, ‘People of Coruscant, we fight to end this hunger for justice.’”

Rey blinks at her. “Um, really?”

Holdo’s smile becomes strained. “Just pretend that it’s after a battle and you’re addressing a crowd of fellow rebels. Whenever you’re ready.”

Rey tries to get in the zone, but it’s very hard when she’s pretending thin air is an army of rebels and has to say the words, “People of Coruscant, we fight to end this hunger for justice” in that order. She tries, raising her staff in the air and shouting, “People of Coruscant, we fight to end this hunger for justice!”

The silence that follows is unimpressed.

“That was bad,” she decides.

“No,” Holdo lies. “It’s okay, take as many takes as you need. Let’s try it again.”

They do, over and over and over, but it never seems to stick. They’re on what feels like the thirtieth try when Han finally stands up. “No offense, Amilyn, but this...sucks.”

“Gee, thanks,” Rey says sarcastically.

“It’s not all you, kid.” Han turns back to Amilyn. “Let’s have a...strategy meeting.”

They gather in the conference room from yesterday, Leia, Luke, and Bodhi joining them. Holdo’s aide puts together a rough presentation of Rey’s best take. The animation is bad, though Rey knows it would be improved if they had more than five minutes, and it’s so cheesy and one-note that she can’t help wincing as she watches it. There’s a long pause after it plays where everyone is thinking the same thing:  _ This is awful _ .

Han clears his throat, leaning forward. “Let’s try something new,” he suggests. “Rey is our mockingjay. Why?”

“Are...you kidding?” Holdo glances at the rest of them. “Because she’s the symbol of the Resistance.”

“But  _ why _ is she the symbol of the the Resistance?” he presses.

“Because she refused to play the Capitol’s game,” Bodhi says. “Rey and Paige both refused to kill each other.”

“Right,” Han agrees. “What else has Rey done that makes her the symbol of the Resistance?”

There’s a moment of silence as they all contemplate.

“She volunteered for a boy she didn’t know,” Luke says. His voice sounds rough, as if he isn’t used to speaking. 

“She stood up for that boy being flogged,” Bodhi adds. “She didn’t know him either...right?”

Rey nods mutely.

“Right,” Han says. “Now, compare these moments to Rey’s Victory Tour, when she was taking orders from Snoke. We all saw her. No offense, kid,” he adds quickly. 

“You’re saying people like her because of her genuineness,” Leia pieces together.

Han snaps his fingers. “That’s  _ exactly _ what I’m saying.”

“This doesn’t solve anything,” Holdo points out. “All we’ve done is establish why we like Rey. We know why we like Rey.”

“I think what Han is saying,” says Luke, “is that Rey gets the best reactions when she’s off-script.”

Holdo clicks her pen. “Okay...so you’re saying we, what, let her improvise?”

“Not just improvise,” Han says. “I’m saying we should let her out in the real world. Onto a real battlefield.”

“No,” Leia says at once. “It’s too dangerous, and I won’t risk her life just for some grab at authenticity.”

“It doesn’t have to be an  _ active _ battlefield,” Han wheedles. “But somewhere, some _ place _ where she can actually  _ feel _ something and react to it.”

Leia and Holdo exchange glances. 

“Even an empty battlefield...we can’t guarantee her safety,” Leia starts to say.

“Let me do it.”

Everyone turns to look at Rey. Her arms are folded over her chest, her eyes boring into Leia’s. “You want me to inspire people, but no one’s going to be inspired if I’m not. Let me go out there.”

Leia holds her gaze for a long minute. “I’ll think about it.” She stands up. “Now, I’m needed elsewhere, but let’s...revisit this at a later point.”

“The propo,” Holdo starts to say, but Leia holds up a hand.

“Later, Amilyn.” And she sweeps out of the room. The others all get up with varying amounts of dissatisfaction. 

“Good news,” Lando mutters to Rey. “You get to keep the jumpsuit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure y'all found this fic through my tumblr, but just in case you haven't, come say hi at spacedarcy.tumblr.com! 
> 
> I also have a ko-fi, which you can find here: https://ko-fi.com/A463D9A


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Some of you may have noticed that I've updated the chapter count. It's not a big deal, but you know. It's there.
> 
> Thanks, as always, for sticking with this thing. Your reviews always give me something to look forward to because I love knowing what you guys think--so please, don't be shy!

It’s around dinnertime when there’s a frantic knocking at Rey’s door. It’s Finn, wide-eyed and breathless. “You’re needed in Command.  _ Now _ .”

The urgency in his tone makes Rey follow him without question. Have they been compromised? Are they under attack? Worse still--has something happened to Ben? It’s only this last point which makes her move faster, running to keep up with Finn’s long strides.

Leia, Han, Luke, Holdo, and Lando are gathered around a screen when Finn brings her in. 

“Rey, come here,” Leia urges. 

Rey takes the seat beside Lando, surprised to see Orson Krennic on the screen. 

“Two weeks ago, the Quarter Quell was brought to a sudden and inexplicable halt. In those ten days, speculation about what went on has been  _ rampant _ \--but I’m here to put an end to that speculation and bring you  _ the truth _ . I have with me tonight none other than Ben Solo, tribute and former victor of District 5.”

Rey lets out a strangled cry as the camera pans back. Ben is sitting in an armchair opposite Orson. He looks...fine. More than fine. His skin is glowing, his hair is black and glossy, and he wears a Capitol suit as comfortably as if it was made for him. 

“Thank you for agreeing to speak with us this evening, Ben,” Orson says.

Ben inclines his head. “Of course.”

“I’ll cut right to the chase, Ben--what  _ happened _ that night in the arena?” 

“It’s complicated, Orson.” Ben looks at the camera. “I will be honest: I knew that there was a rescue mission underway.”

“From the rebels?” Orson prods.

Ben shakes his head. He’s so...composed. “From my  _ parents _ . They told me they wouldn’t let me die in the arena. They told me they would get us out.”

“I see,” says Orson. “But, Ben...why didn’t they get you out?”

“I was trying to save the others.” There’s a flash, just a flicker, of something in his eyes. “I left Rey and Bodhi with my parents and went to get the others, but when I came back, they were gone.”

“Mm.” Orson leans back in his armchair. “Where do you think they are?”

Ben splays out his hands. “I have no idea. Wherever they are...I just hope Rey is safe.”

Hot tears course down Rey’s cheeks. She knows that he’s still keeping up the charade that they’re star-crossed lovers—how could he possibly admit to Coruscant that it was just a ploy to get sponsors?—but hearing those words come from him break her heart just a little bit more. Beside her, Lando squeezes her hand. 

“And I hope that wherever she is, she’s staying out of the Resistance.” Ben turns his eyes to the camera. “I hope that she remembers how much the Capitol has done for her. For  _ us _ .”

Rey’s heart stops.  _ He wants me to be the Mockingjay _ , she realizes.  _ The Capitol hasn’t done anything but try to kill us. He wants me to remember that.  _

“Yes,” Orson says hastily. “We all do. But I’m afraid we’re out of time—thank you so much for sitting down with us tonight. That was Ben Solo, and I’m Orson Krennic.”

The room is deathly quiet save for the prattling of the TV. Rey turns to look at Han and Leia. Their faces are pale, but Leia looks resolved.

“I’ve made my decision,” she says, getting to her feet. “Rey, do you still want to go to a real battlefield?”

“Yes.” Rey’s voice cracks, so she clears her throat and says again, “Yes.”

Leia nods. “Amilyn, arrange it.” 

Rey sighs in relief.  _ I’ll bring you back, Ben, I swear it.  _

.

It’s a few days before Holdo can arrange anything. Rey spends that time learning her way around the Resistance base. It’s hard at first because everything looks the same to her, but Bodhi, Finn, and Rose are cheerful enough guides. She starts taking her meals with them instead of holing up in her bunk, and she spends an entire afternoon with Rose submerged in greasy engine parts. It’s  _ fun _ , she realizes with a start. For the first time in her life, she has real friends. 

She’s at breakfast when Finn finds her. 

“The general wants you,” he says, but he’s much more relaxed than the last time he was sent to collect her. “I think today’s the day.”

She finishes her breakfast in a hurry, slurping down orange juice before she follows Finn to Command. The place is bustling with activity, and Leia gives her a grim smile when she sees her. “It’s not too late to back out.”

“I’m not backing out,” Rey says firmly. 

Leia nods. “All right. We’re sending you to District 12. The fighting has pretty well finished there, but of course, you should exercise caution because the Capitol is still keeping an eye on it. You’ll meet with Commander D’Acy and she’ll show you around a hospital.” 

Rey nods. “Okay.”

Leia gestures to Lando, who has fabric draped over his arm. “Lando has been working on an outfit for you.”

“An outfit?” Rey repeats.

“No offense to the Resistance, but the orange jumpsuit is not the most flattering apparel for our Mockingjay,” he says.

“It’s not supposed to look flattering, it’s supposed to be--never mind,” Leia says, rolling her eyes. “Just suit her up.”

The outfit Lando has designed for Rey is strikingly similar to the outfits she wore for both her games--no doubt intentional on Lando’s part. She wears a long, stiff tunic over a plain linen shirt, pants that stretch when she moves, and high leather boots. He wraps a long roll of gray fabric around her and cinches a thick leather belt around her middle. The braces he wraps around her arms are deceptively thick. “Bullet and fireproof,” he says proudly. “Just like the rest of your outfit.” He styles her hair in the signature three buns and then affixes the mockingjay pin to her breast. After declaring her perfect, he walks her out to the hangar. Amilyn Holdo is waiting for them, and she looks approvingly at Rey. 

“Finn will be escorting you,” she says. “As will Commander Poe Dameron.”

Poe Dameron is a ridiculously handsome soldier, and unlike Rey, he wears the orange jumpsuit well. She privately thinks that Holdo should use him for some of her propos. 

“It’s an honor to meet you,” he says, shaking Rey’s hand and smiling. “General Skywalker thinks very highly of you.”

“Thanks,” Rey says awkwardly.

Holdo puts a hand on her back, guiding her up the ramp of the hovercraft and into the hold. There are three people inside, all of whom look eagerly at her. “Rey, I’d like you to meet Koo Millham--one of the Capitol’s most promising directors.”

“Or I was, until I turned rebel,” Koo Millham says with a smile. Rey finds it hard to believe that she’s from the Capitol because there’s nothing extravagant or flamboyant about her--even Holdo retains her purple hair and Lando still dresses as if he’s on camera. Koo Millham has blonde hair pulled back in a sensible ponytail, and she wears the dark green jumpsuit as if used to it. Her companions are similarly dressed in military fatigues, their shirts lined with pockets and pockets of supplies. 

“That’s right,” Holdo says with a smile. “Now you’re the Resistance’s most prominent director.”

“Probably because I’m the  _ only _ director.” 

Holdo smiles good-naturedly. “Koo will be filming your propos; today, you’ll be visiting a hospital in 12. I’ll see you when you get back.” She descends the ramp, leaving Rey with her new companions.

Koo gestures to the two men with her. “These are my camera men, Salaka Kuchimba and Saile Minnau.”

They both nod and smile. Rey nods and smiles back. 

“Let’s get strapped in,” Poe says, and they all take their seats. 

As they take off, Rey turns to Koo. “What made you decide to join the Resistance? Did Holdo rope you into this?”

The three of them laugh.

“She’s very persuasive,” Koo agrees. “But ultimately we made the choice ourselves.”

“People in the Capitol are so used to looking at what’s on their screens,” Salaka says. “They don’t even question it anymore. But when you’re behind the camera...it changes your perspective.”

“It wasn’t an easy choice,” Koo says. “But it was the right one.”

The journey to 12 is relatively short. Poe directs them out of the hovercraft and behind a row of buildings that have been badly bombed. There’s rubble everywhere, so much so that they can’t even see the ground. Koo, Salaka, and Saile start filming right away. 

“Just pretend we aren’t here,” Koo says. 

That’s very hard to do when Salaka and Saile are wearing visors that are recording Rey’s every move, but she tries valiantly to ignore them, focusing instead on following Poe. In a moment, a small, weary-looking entourage emerges from behind a charred building to greet them.

“Rey,” Poe says, “This is Commander D’Acy. Commander, this is Rey Niima.”

“So you’re alive,” Commander D’Acy says with a thin smile. Her face is lined with more than age, her hair gray with more than age. She’s stressed and dirty and looks as if she hasn’t had a proper wash or more than a few hours of sleep in a long time. “We weren’t sure. I admit I was hesitant to allow a camera crew here, but when General Skywalker contacted me...well, I never could refuse that woman.” She beckons for them to follow her. “The hospital is just this way. I’m sorry in advance for the smell--I can’t spare the manpower to move the dead bodies to the mass grave.”

The stench when they enter is overwhelming, and Rey feels her composure slip as she presses her hand over her nose and mouth. D’Acy leads them past a curtain and into a room that stinks less but still carries a horrid odor. There are people  _ everywhere _ , lying on mats strewn on the floor and leaning against pillars and rickety chairs. Rey’s never been to a hospital, but she’s pretty sure this is not what they look like. Her heart twists in her chest.

“Any hope you can give them will do them good,” D’Acy says gently.

Rey shakes her head. “I don’t know what I can do…”

Finn rests a hand on her shoulder. “Just let them see your face,” he says. “That’s all they need.”

It feels impossibly churlish, but Rey forces herself to walk out between the rows of people. She takes it all in, feels her stomach lurch and tries not to cry as she sees the injured. It isn’t just soldiers--there are mothers and children and old folks among the wounded, civilians who have no place suffering like this.  _ This is what the Capitol does _ , she thinks bitterly.  _ They’ll hurt anyone and everyone until there’s nothing left _ . 

Suddenly, it goes quiet, and Rey realizes that every eye is fixed on her. She comes to a halt, looking around at all of them.

“Rey?” a girl not much younger than her asks from the floor. 

Rey nods slowly. “Yes. It’s me.”

“You’re alive,” a man says in awe.

“I know,” she says. “I was surprised too.”

A few people chuckle.

“Are you here to fight with us?” a boy who can’t be more than twelve asks her. Has he been fighting? This boy who’s barely old enough to compete in the games?

Rey finds herself nodding again. “I am,” she says. And then, without quite knowing why, she adds, “You’re not alone.”

The boy kisses three fingers and raises them in a salute. The rest of the room follows suit, until Rey is gazing out at a sea of hands. Trembling, she kisses her own fingers and returns the salute. She realizes that agreeing to be the Mockingjay was never an option, because to them, Rey has always been the Mockingjay. She has always been the symbol of the Resistance. Her consent to do these propos is nothing more than a formality. 

When she finally leaves the hospital, she takes two steps outside and then leans heavily on a wall. 

“You were amazing, Rey,” Finn says, looking at her like he can’t believe she’s real. “You gave those people so much hope.”

“I think that’s the most help anyone in that hospital has gotten,” D’Acy agrees.

Rey takes deep, heaving breaths. “Is it like that in all the districts?” 

“More or less,” Poe says. “Some of the districts have better resources than others, and 12 was hit pretty hard, but it’s brutal. This is why these propos are so important--when loyalists and people who are somewhere in the middle see this, they’re going to want to help. You’re making a difference.”

“We got some great footage,” Koo agrees. “Amilyn and the General will be pleased.”

Poe holds up a finger, his other hand pressing the bud in his ear. “We have to get out of here now.”

“Why?”

“Bombers headed our way.”

Rey feels as if she might really be sick. “The Capitol knows I’m here.”

“We don’t know that,” Finn says soothingly, but she shakes her head.

“Leia said the fighting’s mostly over here...so why would bombers come in unless they knew I was here?” 

“There’s a bunker this way,” D’Acy says, tactfully not answering Rey. The squad follows her right as the sirens begin to go off. There’s an explosion just ahead of them as the first bomb strikes the ground. Another one goes off to the side. Finn pushes Rey to the ground and uses his body as a shield right as the hovercrafts drop another. 

“We’ve got to move!” Poe roars. “Come on!” 

Finn half-drags, half-pulls Rey, one arm holding her securely against him and the other holding his gun. They make it to the bunker, D’Acy ushering them inside, and run to the windows. The hovercrafts swerve and head south.

“What are they doing?” Rey asks. “They saw us come in here.”

“There’s nothing that direction,” Finn muses. “Just the…”

He and Rey look at each other in shock.

“They’re aiming for the hospital!” she shrieks, running for the exit. Finn grabs her. 

“Rey,  _ no _ !”

She claws at him, finally manages to throw him off, and bolts for the door. Her feet pound against the steps as she runs outside, screaming, “LOOK HERE, COME THIS WAY, I’M RIGHT HERE!”

If they see her, they don’t care. She sees three black objects fall, and the hospital goes up in flames. Rey stands in shock.

“REY!” Finn is screaming, but she barely hears.

All those people. Those mothers and children and old people, hundreds of injured civilians...gone. In a second. Killed on Snoke’s orders. All because of Rey.

“Rey,” Koo calls, and when Rey turns, it takes her a moment to see through the smoke and her own tears. Salaka and Saile have their cameras trained on her and Koo is touching her earpiece. “Is there anything you’d like to say?”

For a split second, Rey thinks of screaming,  _ I’d like to tell you to fuck off _ , but then she realizes. All of the districts will see this. She has a chance to tell them, rebels and loyalists alike, what the Capitol is capable of doing, no matter their allegiance. She forces her back to straighten, wills her voice not to quaver. “I want everyone to know that I’m still alive. I’m in District 12, where the Capitol just bombed a hospital full of unarmed civilians, including children. There will be no survivors.” Her voice hitches. She takes a deep breath, too late feeling tears running down her face. “If you think for  _ one second _ that the Capitol will treat us fairly, you are  _ lying to yourselves _ . You know what they do.” She splays out a hand behind her, indicating the wall of flames where the hospital used to be. “ _ This _ is what they do, and we must fight back!” She breathes, in and out, willing her voice not to shake. “I have a message for President Snoke. You can torture us and bomb us and burn our districts to the ground. But do you see that?” She gestures again to the fire. “Fire is catching. And if we burn, you burn with us.”

There’s a long pause as she turns back to the fire, the tears spilling freely now. She’s done talking to the camera. These people are dead not just because of her, but also because the Capitol will stop at nothing to punish her. It doesn’t matter if she was unarmed and visiting a civilian hospital—they still destroyed all those people. She is reminded, much more forcefully, that her consent to be the Mockingjay is merely a formality. She was the Mockingjay to these people, and she is the Mockingjay to the Capitol. This fight has always been hers, and it will continue to be her fight until it’s over. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite chapters, so I hope y'all enjoy!!
> 
> I heavily borrowed from the books and movies in this chapter--there are a couple things that I took word for word because I loved them so much.
> 
> On an unrelated note, I saw Solo on Thursday and I am IN LOVE--please come shout at me about it!!

In the end, Poe hustles them all into a Resistance hovercraft that descends so briefly they have to jump up onto the ramp. Rey curls up on the floor beside Finn, who strokes her arm reassuringly. Her camera crew isn’t filming this—no one wants to see the Mockingjay as anything other than a fierce angel of vengeance. 

She’s sent to the medbay when they land.

“Just a formality,” the cheerful woman from before assures her. “After being in all that smoke and exposed to so much infection…”

Rey doesn’t mind, because it gives her time to process everything that she’s seen. When they release her, she takes a long shower in her bunk and then crawls into bed. She skips dinner because she doesn’t think she can handle food.

She has two dreams that night. In the first, she’s back inside the hospital, and everyone is giving her the salute. The entire place goes up in flames and falls to the ground, leaving Rey alone on an island of burnt bones. 

She wakes up screaming, and a moment later Ben rushes into her bunk, his eyes wide and hair standing up. “Nightmare?” he asks, already reaching for her.

She lifts the covers, inviting him to slide under. “Can you hold me?” she asks in a pathetic voice.

“Of course.” He wraps his arms around her, kisses the top of her head. “Whatever you want.”

She wakes up for real this time, alone and aching. 

Sleep doesn’t come after that. It’s early, so early it’s still late, and after a while she gives up and changes into the greasy coveralls she uses to tinker. She and Rose have been slowly gutting a bomber and she finds the work soothing. She understands now why Bodhi likes to take things apart and put them back together. It’s so easy. The parts all have a place, a function, and if they don’t work, there’s always a solution. Add some oil, smooth the rust. If only everything was this simple. 

Finn finds her hours later. He doesn’t say anything at first, just sits next to her and watches. Her hands are black with oil, and she knows Lando will have a time getting the stains out from under her fingernails. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he finally probes.

“No,” she says, surprisingly calm. “I just. Want to stop feeling.”

“Yeah.” He fidgets with his commlink. “Rey, I know you might not want to hear this, but...I think what happened yesterday is going to do so much good for the Resistance.” 

Her hands stop. “Don’t.”

“No, I just...I don’t think enough people have accepted the reality of the situation. But seeing the footage from yesterday...people aren’t gonna be able to deny it anymore.”

“Finn, really, I don’t want to hear this.”

“Okay. I’m done.” He pauses. “There’s another reason I’m here.”

“Oh boy.”

“Holdo and the General want to see you.”

Rey sighs. Of course they do. “Do I have time to shower?”

“Yes.”

She scrubs off as much dirt and grime as she can, then changes into one of the standard jumpsuits she’s been given. When she gets to the conference room, Leia and Holdo aren’t the only ones waiting for her; Han, Luke, Bodhi, and her film crew are all gathered around the table. 

“Koo and her team have been up all night editing,” Holdo says when Rey slips into a seat. 

She’s glad she hasn’t had breakfast, because she has a feeling it would come right back up. “Do I have to watch?”

“I think you’ll like it,” Saile says. 

Rey isn’t so sure, but she settles in to watch the propo. It’s only a few minutes long, but action-y music plays while the screen shows her ducking through the debris in 12, following Poe as they head to meet D’Acy. The older woman has thankfully been edited out, for which Rey is grateful—she’s sure the Capitol already knows who she is, but she’d rather not draw anymore attention to D’Acy than is necessary. The music softens as Rey walks into the hospital, swelling as everyone salutes her, and it crescendos magnificently as she returns the salute. The next shot is of her running, shouting at the hovercrafts, but they mute her screams and play music instead. Then it fades to show her turning to face the camera, tears in her eyes. The speech is much as Rey remembers giving it, but with the fire behind her and the raw  _ anger _ on her face, she has to admit that there’s a certain power behind it. When she turns back to gaze at the fire, her silhouette fades into the golden mockingjay that is on her pin, and underneath the word  _ RESIST _ .

“My god,” Leia murmurs. “That’s incredible.”

“I told you getting her out into the field would work,” Han says, elated. “You’d never have gotten that out of a soundstage—no offense, Amilyn.”

“None taken.” Holdo sounds impressed. “I’ve gotta hand it to you, Han, that was one of your more brilliant ideas.”

Even Rey has to admit it’s compelling. At the very, very least, she’s glad the Capitol’s war crimes have been caught on camera. “And this will air in all the districts?”

“Bodhi’s working on what we’re calling an Airtime Assault,” Holdo says. 

“It’s a complicated process,” Bodhi says. “But I should be able to override all frequencies just long enough for the propo to air. Some channels have been abandoned, so I can play it on a continuous loop.” 

They debut the propo to the base first, and it receives a warm reception. Rey has always attracted a few stares amongst the rebels, but now people smile at her, and a few even approach her to tell her how proud they are to serve alongside her. She still can’t shake the hollow feeling after watching that hospital go up in flames, but Finn is right: that propo is doing so much good. 

After dinner that night, Finn, Rose, and Poe drag Rey to the communications room. It’s only Bodhi and Kaydel Co Connix, a communications officer for the Resistance, both working on the Airtime Assault. At last, Bodhi leans back and rubs his eyes. “That’s it—it’s been broadcast and received in every district.”

Rey, Finn, and Rose let out cheers as Poe pops a bottle of champagne. 

“Where did you get this?” Rey asks, unable to help a smile. 

“Top secret,” he says, winking as he pours it into the small coffee mugs Rose stole from the kitchen. 

The fizziness of the champagne marginally improves Rey’s mood. The propo is good, it will show the Capitol for what they really are and hopefully swell the ranks of the Resistance. And if all goes well, it will bring enough districts to their side so that they can get Ben and the others out of the Capitol. Rey’s smile is genuine as she relaxes with her friends. They’re in the middle of a war and she still has nightmares and the man she loves is in the Capitol, but for right now, everything is fine.

.

That feeling does not last. 

Rey, Finn, Rose, and Poe are all bothering Bodhi and Kaydel in the communications room when Bodhi shushes them. 

“There’s a broadcast from the Capitol coming in.”

He turns up the volume and pulls up one of the bigger screens in the room. They are looking at a red and black room. 

“Since the dark days,” a voice they immediately recognize as Snoke’s begins. “Our country has only known peace.” Slowly, the camera pans in on a dais at the far end of the room. “Ours is an elegant system, conceived to nourish and protect.” There are two figures on the dais, one sitting and one standing. The one sitting wears a shimmering gold robe; the one standing is swathed all in black. “Your districts are the body.” The screen goes black, the word  _ UNITY _ emblazoned in gold. “The Capitol is the beating heart.”  _ UNITY _ is replaced by  _ PROSPERITY _ . “Your hard work serves us...and in return, we feed and protect you.”  _ PROSPERITY _ is now replaced by  _ SACRIFICE _ . “If you resist the system, you starve yourself. If you fight against it, it is you who will bleed.”  _ SACRIFICE _ fades, and they are back to the black and red room. They can see clearly that the seated figure is Snoke. And the figure beside him is Ben. 

Rey gasps. He stares dead ahead, as if he isn’t aware he’s on camera. Maybe, she thinks with a sickening twist, he isn’t. 

“I know you will stand with me, with us—with  _ all _ of us,” Snoke says. “Together. As one. Coruscant today. Coruscant tomorrow. Coruscant forever.” 

Ben looks right into the camera. He looks for all the world like a dead man walking. 

The broadcast goes black.

Every eye turns to Rey.

“Well,” Kaydel says hoarsely. “At least we know Snoke saw the propo.”

.

It’s Rose’s idea to use Snoke’s propos against him. They use his voiceover insisting that the Capitol feeds and protects its citizens and layer it over shots of the hospital. They make a second one layering his placating words over clips of the Hunger Games, using footage of the reapings and of dying tributes. Both propos end with the mockingjay logo and the word  _ RESIST _ .

The Capitol, to the surprise of no one, rises to the occasion.

Every night around the same time, they air a new broadcast, showing Snoke with one or two of the imprisoned victors. By far the most jarring is seeing Jyn wearing a sleek, feminine dress, her hair perfectly coiffed, and Cassian, clean-shaven, wearing a tailored suit, his own hair slicked back as they flank Snoke with glazed-over eyes. Rey sees them in her nightmares, horrified that these strong fighters she knew have been reduced to ornaments. The message is clear: while it looks as if the victors support Snoke, what he’s really saying to the Resistance, to  _ Rey _ , is that he owns them, they are his slaves, and he can do whatever he wants to them. 

Oddly, the propo that scares her the most is the one without Snoke.

It only lasts for a few seconds. There’s a masked, cloaked figure standing on the steps of a nondescript building. There’s battle debris everywhere, and behind the figure is a blood-red sky. The figure takes off their helmet, revealing the solemn face of Ben. 

“Resistance to the Capitol is not only criminal,” he says slowly. “It is futile.” He tucks the helmet under one arm, looking for all the world like a handsome war hero. “Coruscant today. Coruscant tomorrow. Coruscant forever.”

.

At last, Leia is able to arrange a visit to District 11. Even though it’s one of the larger districts, most of its inhabitants have evacuated or been killed by the Capitol, so there’s little danger of a repeat of 12. Rey begs to go to an abandoned area anyway, just in case the Capitol is watching. Either because there are no civilians in the area or because the Capitol genuinely doesn’t know they’re there, it’s a peaceful visit. Most of 11 is ashes and rubble. Koo gets hours of footage of Rey walking around the ruins, taking in the destruction. 11 is the agricultural district, and with the district so ravaged by war, food will soon become a limited commodity--if it isn’t already. Rey wonders how the Capitol will manage.  _ No more eating so much you have to throw up _ , she thinks viciously. 

They take a break in an orchard, shaded from the sweltering sun. Though many of the trees are damaged, some of them still yield fruit, so they snack on peaches and oranges. 

Rey’s taking a swig out of her water bottle when Finn points. “Look, a mockingjay!”

There is, indeed, a mockingjay pecking at a fallen orange. Mockingjays are normally shy, but it seems that the limited resources have given them a new boldness. Not, Rey thinks ironically, unlike herself. She gives a short, four note whistle. The mockingjay pauses, cocking its head, and then imitates the sound. The trees instantly fill with the sound of mockingjays picking up the four notes and passing them on. Rey loves the sound, grins as their music fills the air. 

“Join the Resistance,” Poe says, but the mockingjay doesn’t catch on.

“They like music,” Rey tells him. “You’ve gotta sing.”

Poe shrugs. “ _ Hush, little baby, don’t say a word, mama’s gonna buy you a mockingbird. _ ” He has a good voice, though Rey isn’t surprised--Poe is so perfect that she sometimes doesn’t believe he’s real. 

The birds are quiet for a long moment, and then they begin to sing. Everyone’s mouths fall open as they listen to the mockingjays’ song, which sounds ethereal and otherworldly. 

“You should sing something,” Salaka urges. 

Rey blinks. “ _ Me _ ?”

“Sure. You can sing, can’t you?”

She can, but she hasn’t in a long time. She pauses, trying to think of a decent song. Her eyes land on the trees.

_ “Are you, are you _

_ Coming to the tree _

_ They strung up a man _

_ They say who murdered three _

_ Strange things did happen here _

_ No stranger would it be _

_ If we met at midnight _

_ In the hanging tree.” _

The mockingjays are silent, listening to her song. It’s a folk song, one which a crazy old woman who peddled at the market would sing. Rey doesn’t even know if it’s a real song or if it’s something the old woman just made up, but it always struck her as beautiful, in a sorrowful sort of way. 

_ “Are you, are you _

_ Coming to the tree _

_ Where the dead man called out _

_ For his love to flee _

_ Strange things did happen here _

_ No stranger would it be _

_ If we met at midnight _

_ In the hanging tree _

_ Are you, are you _

_ Coming to the tree _

_ Where I told you to run _

_ So we'd both be free _

_ Strange things did happen here _

_ No stranger would it be _

_ If we met at midnight _

_ In the hanging tree _

_ Are you, are you _

_ Coming to the tree _

_ Wear a necklace of rope _

_ Side by side with me _

_ Strange things did happen here _

_ No stranger would it be _

_ If we met at midnight _

_ In the hanging tree.” _

There’s a long pause as the mockingjays absorb her song, and then a moment later the air is full of their music. Rey gazes up at the trees in awe, forcefully pretending she doesn’t notice the cameras on her. She wonders how long they’ll sing, how far the song will go. Will anyone else in District 11 hear her song? Will the Capitol? She doubts it, but it’s a satisfying thought nonetheless.

  
  



	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Hope y'all are ready for another action-packed chapter. 
> 
> Two things about this chapter. One: there's going to be a plot point. I stole it from the books so PLEASE DON'T LAUGH AT THE NAME IT'S NOT MY FAULT. Two: there's a character I stole from the books/movies because. Well. You'll see why. It's self-indulgent but so is fanfiction.
> 
> Also, I have another fic coming out soon--my beta has the final draft but I hope to put it up this weekend, so keep an eye out for "the play's the thing".

They don’t get back to the base until late that night. Rey is ready to stumble into bed, but Leia, Amilyn, Lando, and Rose are waiting for them in the hangar, anxious looks on their faces.

“What’s happened?” Rey asks quietly. 

“You need to come with us,” Leia says.

They take her and the others to the communications room, where Bodhi and Kaydel pull up a Capitol broadcast. It’s Orson Krennic, sitting down once again with Ben.

“I think that’s what we all find so hard to believe,” Orson is saying. “That this girl whom we all adored, who adored  _ Coruscant _ and all that it stands for, would turn her back on it, on  _ us _ , and join these radicals.”

Ben looks paler than normal, and drawn, as if he hasn’t been eating. It makes the features of his face sharper. Harsher. “I can’t believe that Rey would willingly defy the Capitol. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were using her. Intimidating her into saying these things for their own selfish purposes.” He looks into the camera, a desperate, haunted look in his eyes. “Rey...if you’re out there, if you’re listening...I know you never wanted this. I know you never wanted to be caught up in this rebellion. I’m so sorry for what they’re doing to you.” His voice shakes. “And to all the rebels watching this...I urge you to consider what you’re doing to this country. To your neighbors. Stop this violence, and let peace and order reign once more.”

Will Rey ever be able to see his face without crying? 

“They’re hurting him,” she says as soon as the broadcast ends. “He’s so scared...his  _ eyes _ …” 

“We’re closer to an extraction, but...not close enough,” Leia says heavily. “Even in the districts that have joined our cause, there’s too much of a Capitol presence for us to send a team.”

“That will change with these propos,” Koo says confidently. “We got some really good footage. I’ve also had an idea for some propos that don’t rely on shooting Rey in the districts.”

“Well, I’m all ears,” Leia says, but it sounds more resigned than interested. 

“I was thinking of doing a ‘We Remember’ series featuring the fallen tributes of other districts. Kids who people really cared about.”

“A tribute to the tributes,” Holdo muses. “I like it. Small, non-aggressive, but enough of a reminder to the other districts. Not to mention an irritation to the Capitol, which is always a plus.”

“I like it too,” Leia agrees. 

Rey shifts impatiently. “That’s...great and all, but we need  _ more _ .”

“And we’re working on it.” Leia’s tone is clipped. “Trust me, I want more footage of you in the districts too, but I’m not going to risk your life or the lives of civilians again just to get it.”

Rey bites her tongue. She knows that Leia is right. She just hates feeling so helpless.

.

Koo, Salaka, and Saile spend the next couple of days editing the footage from 11. Rey has nightmares about Ben’s face in that interview. She has a feeling the Capitol is releasing more propos, but no one is letting her see them--Rose is good about asking for her help stripping an engine or sparring in the training center. Rey lets her, because she thinks that maybe she isn’t ready to see more of them. At least, not yet. 

She’s having dinner with Finn, Rose, and Poe when Kaydel comes to find her. Kaydel’s face is not an expressive one, which Rey thinks is part of why she’s a senior officer at such a young age, but it’s obvious that something is off.

“You’re needed in Command,” the other woman says. Rey pushes aside her nerves as she follows Kaydel.

Ben is being interviewed again. His face is paler and more drawn than before, and it’s all Rey can do not to cry out when she sees him. She’s glad that they’ve kept her from the holos these last few days. 

“...these senseless acts of violence do nothing but weaken an already fragile body.” She can tell that a team of stylists has been working on him, but Rey knows him better than most and she can see the hollowness behind his eyes. “The rebels mean to hurt the Capitol, but by hurting us, they only hurt themselves and their neighbors.” It’s nothing Snoke hasn’t already said. They must truly be desperate, Rey realizes, to pull out Ben like this.

“Bodhi’s found a way to hack into the Capitol frequencies,” Leia says, unable to tear her eyes from the screen. “If all goes according to plan, we should be able to interrupt their broadcast.”

“And if they have any screens on in that room, and I’m willing to bet they do,” Bodhi says, “they’ll see it at the same moment the rest of the country does.”

Rey watches along with everyone else in the room as the screen flickers. She hears her own singing, the song about the Hanging Tree, and a moment later there’s a shot of her face from when they visited 11. She looks so sad in this shot, shielding her eyes from the sun as she takes in the destruction. Then the screen flickers again and they’re back to the room where Ben is being interviewed. His eyes are wide as they stare off to the side, his breath ragged.

“Rey?” 

One word, one tiny syllable, and her heart shatters all to pieces.

“Ben,” Orson says forcefully. “Please continue.”

It takes a moment for Ben’s eyes to focus back on the camera, for him to close his slack jaw and come back to himself. “This violence must come to an end. We must not forget the atrocities committed during the Dark Days. We must--”

The screen flickers again, Rey’s voice preceding a shot of her in the orchard, singing to the mockingjays. The screen flickers back to Ben.

“Rey?” he says again.

There’s an obvious commotion on his end--technicians, no doubt, trying to stop Bodhi. Ben’s eyes turn back to the camera. “They’re coming,” he says, his breathing ragged once more. “They know where the Resistance base is and they’re coming--” He disappears, replaced by the Capitol logo and a tinny buzzing sound.

“They’re going to hurt him,” Rey tries to say, but everyone has turned to the doppler, looking for incoming bombers. 

“There’s nothing on doppler--”

“There’s no way of verifying--”

“He was in the Presidential Palace, he could have overheard--”

Everyone looks to Leia. She chews her lip. “It’s time for an air raid drill,” she decides. Kaydel triggers the sirens, and a cool voice comes over the intercom, instructing everyone to head to the underground bunker. 

“Go on, kid,” Han tells her. 

“But--”

“Rey.” Leia looks tired. “Please...set a good example and get yourself down there.”

Rey nods, and finds herself stumbling out of the room and down to the underground bunker. Much of the base is already underground, but there’s a layer deep, deep down that not even the heaviest of bombs can reach. Even if the Capitol drops toxic gases, they can’t penetrate the sealed doors. 

The whole way down, all Rey can think of is Ben. There’s no way the Capitol won’t punish him for his warning. They already aren’t treating him well--that much is obvious from his interview. What more could they do besides kill him? She trips on a step, clutches the rail for support. No. They won’t kill him. He’s worth too much to them, if only because he’s a bargaining chip. The Capitol knows that as long as they have him, Leia won’t allow the Resistance to go too far. They won’t tempt fate by killing him. But he’s still there, still being hurt.

_ Is he dead? _

_ No, but I wish he was. _

The underground bunker is a flurry of activity, with people trying to find both their friends and a place to wait out the attack. Rey wanders for a while before Rose flags her down. She, Finn, and Poe are all gathered around two bunk beds—one bed for each of them if it comes down to it. Rey gratefully sits on the floor between Rose’s legs. The younger girl likes to play with Rey’s hair, which she suspects is something Rose used to do with Paige but has never been brave enough to ask.

“Do you know what’s going on?” Finn asks. “You were in Command is all.”

Rey takes a deep breath. “Ben warned us there would be an attack.”

“ _ What _ ?”

She tells them about the interview, about Bodhi hacking into the Capitol and Koo’s propo interrupting the broadcast. She tells them about Ben and the warning he gave right before the broadcast cut out. Finn and Poe both look stunned, and Rey can tell from the stillness of Rose’s hands that she’s equally surprised. 

“I can’t believe anyone from the Capitol would tell him their plans,” Finn says. “I was a Peacekeeper and they never told us anything.”

“Maybe he overheard something,” Rose suggests. 

Rey shakes her head. “I think it was more than that. I think...maybe they told him to scare him. Snoke came to me before the Victory Tour and told me that if I encouraged the Resistance, he’d burn 5 to the ground and make me watch. Maybe he threatened to destroy us if Ben didn’t do what he wanted.”

“But Ben  _ has _ done everything he wanted,” Poe points out. “Hasn’t he? Appearing in those propos…”

“I’m sure there’s a lot going on behind the camera that we’re not aware of,” Finn says delicately. “Maybe it was something else.”

Rey closes her eyes. “Ben told me there was no way I was going to make Snoke happy about the Victory Tour...that it was always a game I was going to lose. I think this is another game.”

No one knows what to say to that.

They end up spending the night in the bunker. There’s no word from Command, no explosions from above (though Rey isn’t sure if that’s because there is no attack or because the bunker really is that secure). Just...silence. 

It’s early in the morning when Luke wakes her up, pressing a finger to his lips. Rey quietly follows him out of the bunker, moving quickly and quietly so as not to disturb anyone. Even when they leave the bunker and ascend the stairs, she doesn’t say anything, waiting for him to speak first. 

At last, he does. 

“There was a planned attack,” he says, pausing on the stairs for a breath. “We picked up small craft flying over, and we got a warning from 9.”

“But...there wasn’t an attack?” 

He shakes his head. “From what we can tell, they gave up. Knew we’d gotten Ben’s warning and their bombs wouldn’t hit anyone.” He starts moving again, Rey following. “Yesterday, hundreds of people in 5 destroyed the dam.”

Rey knows about the hydroelectric dam in 5–it’s the most valuable thing in their district because it powers the Capitol. If the dam is destroyed…

“But the Capitol was able to broadcast last night,” she points out.

“Right,” Luke agrees. “They were using backup generators, which means their defenses weren’t as strong, so Bodhi was able to interrupt the broadcast with our propo.”

Rey absorbs all of this. “So...what now?”

They’re close to Command now, and Luke stops again. “Han and Leia and I...we have a friend in the Capitol. An Avox, to be precise. He used to be a Peacekeeper until he uh, got a little reckless. The Capitol still uses him for security sometimes, so he has a certain level of security clearance. A  _ certain _ level, mind you.” 

Rey’s eyes search his. “He can get to Ben.”

“He  _ might _ be able to,” Luke stresses. “He hasn’t tried yet because he didn’t want to get caught prematurely. Besides, until the dam blew up, we didn’t have a way of contacting him. Now that the Capitol’s on backup power, we’ve been able to communicate. I’ll explain more later.” He leads Rey the rest of the way to Command. It’s surprisingly quiet—the handful of people left manning stations are drinking coffee and staring blearily at their screens. Leia, Han, Holdo, and Lando are all sitting around the conference table, clutching their own cups of coffee. Lando pours a cup for Rey, who never really liked the stuff but drinks it anyway. 

“I told her we’ve been able to get in touch with Chewie,” Luke says. 

“Chewie’s hiding some friends of ours,” Leia says. “Maz, Cee, and Artoo have been staying with him since the Quarter Quell.”

Rey sags in relief. “They’re still okay, then?”

“Cee hates it, but otherwise they’re all in good health,” Leia says with a wry twist of her lips. “Did Luke tell you Chewie has some security clearance?”

She nods.

“Did you know, Rey,” Holdo says, “that Peacekeepers are largely trained and outfitted in District 2?”

Rey did not. “I thought they were all from the Capitol.”

“That’s what the Capitol wants you to think,” Han says, rubbing his jaw. “But there aren’t nearly enough Capitol citizens to fill their ranks.”

“Okay,” Rey says, uncertain of where this is going. “Why…?”

“Chewie told us early this morning that because so many Peacekeepers have been deployed to the other districts, 2 is vulnerable right now. It’s our best chance at invading the Capitol.”

Rey leans forward. “Okay.”

“It will involve some dirty fighting,” Leia sighs. “But it’s our best shot at getting in there and ending this thing once and for all.”

“What do you need me to do?” 

Leia chooses her words carefully. “I need you to appeal to the loyalists in 2. Their district has gotten off relatively easy in this war--being so close to the Capitol has always had its advantages. But the Capitol’s resources are running thin, especially since the dam in 5 was destroyed. They are neglecting 2 and many of the people there feel abandoned, especially since the Resistance in 2 has been growing more and more active.”

Rey considers this. “But they won’t join the Resistance because of anti-Capitol sentiment, they’ll just…”

“Surrender because they’ve lost hope,” Holdo says quietly. “Yes, that’s the idea.”

“We don’t need them to join us, we just need them to stop fighting for the Capitol,” Leia says. 

“So you want me to convince them it’s a lost cause?”

“Well, when you put it like that…”

Rey shakes her head. “I’ll go. I’ll do it. What...whatever you need from me to make this war end sooner.” 

Leia takes in a breath that’s almost shaky. “I was hoping you’d say that. Can you be ready to leave in an hour?”

“Yes.” 

“Then report to the hangar at seven.”

It takes Rey less than an hour to shower and change into the Mockingjay costume. She meets Finn, Poe, Koo, Salaka, and Saile in the hangar, all of them looking tired but ready to go. Luckily it’s a long ride to 2, so they all sleep on the hovercraft. Even Rey, jittery as she is at the beginning of the flight, finds herself dozing as the hovercraft hums steadily beneath her. She wakes with a lurch and realizes that they’re descending.

“We’re about to land,” Finn says from beside her. He’s rubbing sleep from his own eyes. “You ready for this?”

“Am I ever.”

Even in the middle of a war, 2 is easily one of the loveliest districts in Coruscant. They land in front of a Justice Building that is nearly the size of the hydroelectric dam; there, they are greeted by several of the Resistance leaders from each district, including the one from 2. She looks so similar to Phasma that for a moment, Rey wonders if it isn’t really the former victor. The woman must notice Rey’s surprise because she gives her a wry smile. 

“Phasma is my sister,” she says, sounding as if it is not the first time she’s had to explain this. “We don’t exactly get along.”

“Is she...all right?” Rey asks. She’s sure that Phasma  _ is _ all right; even if she wasn’t a Career, she had no way of knowing that Rey’s entire alliance was secretly working to bust her out of the arena. Still, she wouldn’t put anything past the Capitol.

Phasma’s sister looks at her in a queer sort of way. “I didn’t know you cared about her wellbeing.”

“Yeah, well, it’s my fault she’s in the Capitol, isn’t it?” Rey mutters. “And she’s a victor. Like me. It’s hard not to feel sorry for each other.”

Phasma’s sister shrugs. “She’s always been loyal to the Capitol. Or if she hasn’t, she’s done a very good job of acting otherwise. I’m sure she’d be spitting nails if she found out I wasn’t just part of the Resistance, but  _ leading _ the rebels in our district.”

Rey decides to like her.

As soon as the commanders have gathered (including Leia, participating from the safety of a holo), Phasma’s sister, Lyme, gets right into it. “This,” she begins, pulling up a holographic map of what looks to be a mountain, “is what we call the Nut. It’s the Capitol’s headquarters for all offensive operations. It’s also conveniently located beneath an impenetrable layer of bedrock. Yesterday we attempted to take the northeastern gate, but loyalist forces were waiting for us.” Her voice tightens. “We suffered heavy losses.”

“What about a decoy?” Poe suggests. “Send troops to one gate, and then attack from another?” 

“A suicide mission for the decoy troops,” Leia hums. “We can’t risk that. Our losses have been too great already--if we lose many more troops, we won’t be able to take the Capitol.” 

“With your permission, General,” Finn says, stepping forward. “I was a Peacekeeper. I was trained in the Nut. I know it better than most. It’s an impenetrable fortress, but unlike the Resistance base, the underground bunker only functions on so much oxygen. Not to mention there’s no way to bring in supplies without using one of the gates.”

“You’re suggesting we block all the gates?” Lyme clarifies.

Finn nods. “We should cut off all the gates--preferably collapse them.”

“And leave them to suffocate?” Rey asks, more than a little horrified. “There are civilians in there! They deserve the chance to surrender!”

“This is  _ war _ ,” Finn starts to say, but Rey doesn’t let him finish.

“The Resistance gave  _ you _ a chance,” she reminds him. “You, a Peacekeeper trained to fight for the Capitol. Civilians who are just trying to survive should be given the chance to surrender.”

“I agree,” Leia says. 

“We’ll leave one of the supply tunnels open,” Lyme decides. “And have medics standing by.”

“And what if they don’t surrender?” Finn asks, colder than Rey has ever heard him.  _ So _ , she thinks, that’s _ where the Peacekeeper in him has been hiding _ . 

“Then we will need a compelling voice to persuade them. Good thing we have the Mockingjay.”

That both comes as a relief and stresses Rey to hell. What if she can’t convince the loyalists to surrender? Will she have to watch them die?

“I have no intention of gunning down civilians, no matter their loyalty,” Lyme says with a coldness to match Finn’s. “I urge you to reexamine your training, soldier.”

Finn’s jaw tightens, but he says nothing. 

It takes hours for the bombs to collapse the gates and supply tunnels. The loyalist forces are too afraid to fire back, afraid of further damaging the Nut and the lives inside of it. 

“I know you think I’m being harsh,” Finn says as they watch the attack from the safety of the Justice Building. “But this is war, Rey, and these people had the same opportunities to think about the consequences of their actions that I did.”

“That’s just it,” she says. “They haven’t  _ made _ any actions. They’re just civilians doing what they’ve been doing their entire lives.”

“If we leave the supply tunnel open,” he says as if he hasn’t heard her, “then we’re just opening ourselves up for another attack.”

“We’re also giving hundreds of people the chance to live.” 

“It’s nothing personal,” he snipes. “That’s just how it is in war, Rey.” His face softens. “You have such a good heart--”

“Don’t give me that.” She steps away from him. “Just...don’t, Finn.”

They don’t talk after that.

By the time the barrage ends, it’s well into the night. Rey is exhausted from the last twenty-four hours, but she soldiers on as Finn, Poe, and her camera crew escort her to the entrance of the supply tunnel. There’s still no sign that the loyalists are planning to evacuate, and it could take hours for them to organize a surrender. Leia hopes to expedite the process by broadcasting a message from Rey urging the loyalists to surrender. Koo positions her so that the supply tunnel is clearly visible behind her and then steps back, pointing to Salaka. Rey looks into his visor, waits for the signal from Koo.

“This is Rey Niima,” she says, her voice clear and ringing. “I’m standing in front of the only exit from the Nut in District 2.” She pauses. “I’m begging the loyalists inside to lay down your weapons. We all know how this will end if you keep fighting for the Capitol. We all know that they’re not going to save the day.” Her voice softens. “Please. Think of the civilians. Think of your wounded. Don’t condemn them to death for your own pride. Surrender and we guarantee your safety and theirs. We don’t want to hurt anyone. We don’t want any more district lives to be lost because of Snoke.”

She glances at Koo, gives a small nod, and Koo calls, “Cut!” 

Bodhi, working from the Resistance base, is able to broadcast the message directly to the Nut. They wait for almost two hours. Rey is dozing against a wall when they all hear a screeching, clanging sound. Rey rubs the sleep from her eyes as two trains roar out of the Nut. The Resistance soldiers are already on their feet, guns at the ready just in case. But there’s little need—the loyalists fling themselves onto the ground, raising empty hands in the air and shouting that they’re unarmed. Only one man remains upright, his hands in the air as he marches towards Rey. 

“Stand down!” Resistance soldiers shout at him, but he keeps walking steadily towards Rey.

“Don’t shoot him!” she orders the soldiers, but she doesn’t stop Finn from grabbing him when he’s only a few feet away. 

“That’s close enough,” Finn warns.

The man jerks away but doesn’t move closer to Rey. He just fixes her with a look of intense loathing. “I’m Captain Canady, and I’m here to officially surrender to the Mockingjay.” He spits out the word, as if to show her just how much he thinks of her title. 

Rey bows her head. “On behalf of the Resistance, I accept your surrender. Thank you—I know this wasn’t an easy choice to make.”

“You didn’t leave me with much of one,” he seethes. 

Rey nods. “I know. I wish there could have been another way. Please understand that you and your people will be well treated.”

“As prisoners of the enemy.”

“You were only a prisoner under the Capitol,” she says quietly. “And we are not your enemy. This battle you’ve been fighting? We didn’t give it to you. The Capitol gave it to  _ us _ . You, and me, and all these people. Why else are they mysteriously absent from your surrender?”

There’s a flicker of something in Captain Canady’s eyes. 

Rey turns to Lyme, who’s standing a few yards away. “District 2 is yours, Commander.” She starts to turn and move away, but then there’s a shout from behind her and a loud, ringing noise. At the same time, something rockets into her back, sending her reeling to the ground. 

  
  



	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Loved seeing your responses to the last chapter!
> 
> "the play's the thing" is finally up! like this fic, I'll be updating every five days (ish), and I promise it's way less suspenseful ;)

“Thank the powers that be for Lando,” Leia sighs as they roll a bandage around Rey’s torso. Her Mockingjay costume was bulletproof as Lando had promised, but what Rey is learning is that “bulletproof” is a lot more painful than it sounds. She’s alive and largely uninjured, but the impact of the bullet has left her with a particularly nasty bruise that makes moving painful. There had been a terrifying few moments where Rey had the wind knocked out of her; when she regained her breath, Canady was dead, thanks to a close-range bullet from Finn. There’d been an uproar, with a few of the loyalists fighting back, but most of them seemed to have accepted their fate. They were being held in the Justice Building for the time being, but the Resistance’s resources were so low that Rey didn’t foresee their stay being long.

“Don’t thank him—he’s already bragging that he saved the Mockingjay’s life with his innovation,” Han says, smiling nonetheless. 

“He could’ve made it a little thicker,” Rey grumbles. “This hurts like a mother—“ She hisses as the medic brushes the dark purple bruise on her back. 

“I’m just glad you’re alive and functional,” Leia says. “And I’m grateful for what you did in 2.”

“So our troops are in the Capitol now?”

The General nods. “They are. Obviously it’s much harder than taking the Nut since there isn’t much of a Resistance in the Capitol, but we’re making progress.” She hesitates. “We did receive...news.”

“What kind of news?”

Whatever it is, Rey can tell that it’s bad. Leia and Han are both avoiding her eye. 

“It seems that Baze...is dead.”

Rey goes cold. “Is it...are you positive?”

“The Capitol released an official statement saying that he killed himself.”

Rey sags against the medic, who tucks in the bandage and drops her shirt. Baze. She barely knew him, but she liked him. Han and Leia liked him. Maybe that was why they chose him over Jyn and Cassian—it wouldn’t just hurt Rey, it would hurt his old friends. “I’m guessing it...wasn’t really suicide?”

“Probably not,” Han says frankly. “Normally I’d say he got in a fight, but with the timing…”

“It’s a threat,” Rey says in a flat tone. 

“Yeah.” 

“And...Ben?” she prods after a moment.

“We haven’t heard anything yet.”

“We have to extract him. And the others,” she says. “Now more than ever.”

Leia purses her lips. “That’s going to take some time.”

Rey stares at her. “But we’re  _ in the Capitol _ …they  _ killed Baze…” _

“Yes, and we’re still in the outer suburbs because the Capitol is throwing everything they’ve got at us,” Leia reminds her. “Trust me, Rey, I want nothing more than to have my boy back, now more than ever, but there’s no way I can sanction an extraction when we’ve literally got our backs against the wall.” 

“Not to mention they’ll be waiting for us,” Han adds. “They wouldn’t have released an official statement if they didn’t want to get under our skin. It smells like a trap.”

Rey bites her tongue. She knows, logically, that Leia and Han are right—but another part of her is too angry to accept it. It feels as if Leia is continually pushing it back, making excuses for not getting to her son. Rey wants to be fair and acknowledge that as the leader of the Resistance, Leia must remain impartial and won’t risk more soldiers’ lives for that of her son...but  _ Ben is going to die if we don’t do something _ .

She keeps thinking about it long after Han and Leia leave her, lying on her side in her hospital bed. 

The idea comes to her in the early hours of the morning. As soon as she’s discharged, she finds Finn, Rose, Poe, Bodhi, Koo, Salaka, and Saile one at a time and asks them to meet her in her bunk. They do, all of them cramming in her little room and looking expectantly at her. 

“I’m about to ask something very big of all of you,” she says. “And I absolutely understand if you don’t want anything to do with it, just...please don’t tell anyone else about this.” She waits, but no one says anything. She decides to take that as a good sign. “Leia promised me that as soon as we had enough support from the districts, she would send an extraction mission for the victors being held in the Capitol. Last night we invaded the Capitol, but she’s refusing to send an extraction mission.”

“We don’t have the resources,” Finn says none too gently. “We can’t just send troops to waltz through the Capitol—“

“I’m not suggesting that. I’m not suggesting we send anyone.” She takes a deep breath. “The Capitol released a statement today that Baze Malbus committed suicide. We all know that he wasn’t the one to end his life. The others are in danger, and more of them are just going to die if we don’t do something. I want to go and personally liberate them.” 

She expects more defiance, but no one shouts her down or storms out. Instead, they all look thoughtful. As if maybe it’s an idea worth considering. 

“How would you go?” Rose asks. 

“I think that I could convince Leia to send me to the Capitol to shoot a propo. At the very least, she would send me to 2 or 5, and I could get in that way. After that I’m not sure.”

Finn snorts. “Great plan, Rey.”

“If you don’t want to be involved, you don’t have to,” she snaps. “But I can’t just  _ sit _ here and wait for something to happen. If I do much more of that, it’s not a question of  _ if _ someone else will die, it’s a question of  _ when _ .” 

“The suburbs should be easy,” Poe says suddenly. “The Capitol’s been evacuating the areas closest to the wall—everyone’s moving to the center. We could disguise ourselves as Capitol citizens and join the civilians moving in.”

Rey feels her heart melt a little. “You’ll come with me, then?”

“No offense, Rey,” Poe says with a smile. “But you just got  _ shot _ . You need someone watching your back.”

“I’m coming too,” Rose says at once. “I’m not a soldier, but you’ll need all the help you can get.”

“I think I’d be of more help to you from the base,” Bodhi says. “I can keep an eye on you.”

Rey nods. “I agree.”

Koo, Salaka, and Saile all have their heads bent in conference, but they look up now. 

“We’re coming.”

“You don’t have to,” Rey is quick to assure them. “I just need you to come with me to shoot a propo, and then you can turn back.”

“We’ve followed you this far,” Saile tells her. “And we’ll follow you until the end.”

There’s only one person left, now, to give her their answer. 

“Finn?”

His face softens. “Of course I’m coming. I think it’s crazy, but I’ll be damned if I let you go into the lion’s den without me.”

She beams. “Thank you. Thank  _ all _ of you,” she stresses. 

They spend the rest of the afternoon strategizing. Bodhi is able to find blueprints of the Capitol neighborhoods—they can move above ground as refugees, and if they find themselves in a tricky spot, the sewers are labyrinthine but much easier to move through undetected. 

Getting in and out of the tribute center will be another matter entirely. It will be heavily guarded, and their small group won’t be able to simply take out all of the security or sneak past them—they’ll have to think of something truly clever. 

“We could sneak in as Peacekeepers?” Salaka suggests. “The uniforms would disguise us, and Finn could train us how to, you know. Peacekeep.”

“Chewie!” Rey exclaims.

“Bless you,” Finn tells her. 

“No, Chewie! He’s a friend of Han and Luke and Leia’s.” Rey can’t believe she didn’t think about this before. “He’s a Peacekeeper-turned-Avox. He still works security, and he’s been sheltering Resistance sympathizers.”

“Well, great,” Poe says with wide eyes. “If we can get to him, we have a sort of base where we can lay low.”

“ _ And _ we can use his security clearance,” she says excitedly. 

“This is a great plan and all,” Finn says, “but how are we going to get the victors out?”

“They film Ben’s interviews in the Presidential Palace,” Koo points out. “And the shots they’ve used of the other victors were almost definitely filmed there, too. We can come in and pretend we’re escorting them to the palace for a last minute propo.”

“Koo, you’re a  _ genius _ .”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“We’ll still have to get hold of disguises.”

Rey actually smiles at this. “Chewie is sheltering my former stylists and escort—if they can’t help us, I don’t know who can.”

That night, after everyone else has left the communications room, Bodhi and Kaydel (who they agree they can trust with this plan) manage to get in touch with Chewie. He’s a hulking man, covered in so much hair that Rey is sure the always-waxed Cee must have had a heart attack when they first met. He can’t speak in a distinguishable voice, but luckily, he has a translator.

“Rey? Is that really you?”

“Hello, Maz,” Rey says, almost tearing up at the sight and sound of her former stylist. “How are you?”

“Bored, but it’s better than the alternative.”

“Rey!” Cee cries, throwing himself into the frame. “Thank goodness! We saw the footage of you getting  _ shot _ —the Capitol is telling everyone you’re dead!”

“Not dead, just bruised,” she says, unable to stop smiling. She can’t believe that she’s actually missed Cee. “Is Artoo there?”

A hand comes into frame. “Hi, Rey!”

“Hi!”

“All right, all right, let’s not waste time—what can we do for you?” Maz asks. 

Rey lays it all out, trying to be as brief as possible. Maz and Chewie consider it. Chewie says something indistinguishable, and Maz translates. 

“You’re right about the evacuation—this neighborhood is overrun with refugees. The Capitol is short-staffed on security, too, so they wouldn’t be quick to question amateur Peacekeepers.”

Chewie makes his guttural sounds again. 

“He says getting in will be easier than getting out, even if you pretend to take them to the palace. They’ll be closely monitored—you’ll have to make a break for it.”

“Hey, it’s the best plan we’ve got,” Poe says cheerfully. “We’ll take it.”

Chewie promises to hammer out the details and leaves instructions for reaching his house. 

“I didn’t think Avoxes could own houses,” Rey says when they end the comm. 

“They can’t own anything, but in special cases they can rent property,” Finn says. “You said he used to be a Peacekeeper? He’s probably privy to sensitive information and the Capitol wants to keep him more comfortable than most Avoxes so he doesn’t let anything slip.”

“They cut out his tongue to punish him and then give him a house to keep him happy?”

“That’s the Capitol for you.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 20 y'all!! We only have a few more to go!! A LOT happens in this chapter, and that's pretty much how it's gonna be for the rest of the fic, so...buckle up.

It’s surprisingly easy to convince Leia to do a propo. Koo pretends it’s her idea, says it’ll be compelling if they get shots of the Mockingjay storming the Capitol. Leia agrees, and makes things easier for them by allowing Poe to make the arrangements. Rey gets the feeling that Leia has too much going on with the war to put much thought behind propos. 

Rey, Finn, Rose, Poe, Koo, Salaka, and Saile join Leia, Bodhi, Kaydel, Holdo, and Han on a hovercraft early in the morning. When Rey disembarks, already wearing her Mockingjay costume, she sees a crowd of Resistance soldiers gathered in the hangar. Someone shouts, “It’s her, she’s really here!”

Rey offers a small smile, as if to say  _ yes, I’m here, the bullet didn’t actually kill me _ , but it slides off her face when the entire crowd raises their fingers in a salute. Rey returns the gesture, looking everywhere but behind her, where she knows Koo is filming everything. 

When they make it to the Resistance’s new, temporary headquarters, a lieutenant debriefs Rey’s team on which neighborhoods are abandoned and which are still occupied, and then Leia dismisses them. She does not ask when they will be back, nor does she offer a suggestion for when they should. They hope to milk this for all they can.

Koo does get footage of Rey in the Capitol, using Finn, Rose, and Poe running around in the background to make it look like Rey is accompanied by an army instead of a few of her friends. She sends the footage to Bodhi for an alibi, something for him to pull out when Leia asks about their whereabouts. 

It’s a couple hours after nightfall when Kaydel contacts them.

“The General asked if you knew how late you’d be out.”

“Is she upset?”

“Negative--the army’s making progress and she’s occupied. I’ll tell her you’re spending the night in an abandoned apartment complex if she asks.”

“And  _ only _ if she asks,” Rey stresses.

They end up spending the night in an abandoned bar. There’s still some food in a storeroom; they eat snacks and appetizers and fall asleep on lounge couches, taking turns keeping watch. In the morning they move out, continuing their path north. They don’t hear from Bodhi or Kaydel and they hope that no news is good news. Koo sends more footage to Bodhi, careful to only shoot nondescript areas so that Leia doesn’t know how close they are to the fighting. 

It’s late afternoon when they hear commotion ahead of them. Poe orders them to lay low in a store hollowed out from gun and cannon fire while he investigates. When he comes back, he shakes his head. “We can’t go that way.”

“Well, we can’t give up now,” Rey says.

“Should we comm Bodhi? See if he can find a map for us?” Finn asks.

“We don’t need a map,” says Koo. “You’re forgetting that three of us used to live here. There’s a train station a couple blocks west.”

“How does that help us?” Rose asks. “Wouldn’t we be just as exposed?”

“Capitol train stations are predominantly underground, and they all connect to the sewers.” 

“ _ All _ of them?” 

“They’re built using the same grid system,” Saile explains. “You’d never notice in the City Circle, but the farther out you get, the more noticeable it becomes. I can’t tell you how many times I drunkenly stumbled into the sewer entrance when I partied out in the suburbs.” 

“And that would take us to Chewie?” Rey asks. 

“Look at it this way,” Koo says. “All the trains in the Capitol loop at City Circle, so no matter where you get on, your end destination will be always be City Circle. Chewie’s house is in the outer circle—most trains pass right under it. Theoretically, we should be able to access the sewer from the station, follow it to the outer circle, and end up practically at his back door.”

“The only problem is that the sewers run in squares, so unless anyone in here has a strong mental compass, we’ll need Bodhi and Kaydel to guide us through the whole way,” Salaka points out. 

It’s the best option they’ve got, so they follow Koo, Salaka, and Saile to the train station. Steps that were once smooth and polished are covered in debris now; Poe makes everyone wait at the top while he goes down to check the coast is clear. It is, and the seven of them scuttle down the steps and follow Saile to a dark and dank corridor. 

“They make it as unattractive as possible so you won’t be tempted to explore,” he says as they walk past plain concrete walls. The floor is wet with what Rey fervently hopes is water. “One time I was drunk and had to take a leak...accidentally stumbled on a team of Avoxes. Can’t imagine they’d be down here now, though.”

“Let’s hope not,” Rose says with a grimace. 

The corridor comes to an end, leaving only a set of metal stairs that go down. Poe leads the way, Finn taking the rear, both men keeping their guns at the ready. The stairs take them down to a long tunnel. A stream of murky water rushes past them. There are walkways on either side, and after a moment’s deliberation, they hang a right. The tunnel looks like it goes for a long distance uninterrupted, but they comm Bodhi just to make sure. 

He sounds tired when he answers, as if maybe he was asleep, but he pulls up the maps he downloaded and gives them directions. It’s a good thing they called because while the train runs at a diagonal, the sewers run in a straight line. If they were to follow this tunnel in its entirety, it would take them west of City Circle and past it. 

“Has anyone said anything about us?” Rey asks. 

“Not really—Han asked if I’d heard from you earlier and I showed him the footage you sent over. He seemed satisfied.”

“Well, let’s hope it keeps him satisfied, because I’m not about to film the Mockingjay wading through the sewers,” Koo gripes.

Bodhi has to duck out so as not to draw suspicion, but Koo taps his directions into her data pad just in case they have trouble reaching him again. They stop after a few hours to rest. Even though the smell is unpleasant, they are too hungry for it to really ruin their appetite. 

“We still have a long way to go,” Koo says as they eat the rations they’ve packed into their rucksacks. They’re very similar, Rey can’t help noticing, to the rations in the games. “We could stop and sleep for the night, or we could trudge on and make it there early morning.” 

No one really says anything; instead, they all look to Rey. She realizes that they expect her to make the decision for them. “Would anyone object if we pushed on?”

They shake their heads. 

“Safer this way,” Poe points out. “If we get there before it’s light, I mean.”

Rey thinks of Artoo and how he seems to regard waking up before noon a personal affront. She hopes the rest of the Capitol operates under a similar mindset. “All right,” she decides. “Let’s go.”

They’re all exhausted within a few hours, but they keep pushing because none of them are really going to sleep soundly until they’re in Chewie’s house. Rey also has a sneaking suspicion that the Capitol knows they’re here. If there are truly cameras all over the place, they would have surely gotten footage of Rey and her squad descending into the train station. She suspects, too, that there are cameras in the station, which means that someone could have seen them go into the sewer. The sewers are labyrinthine, but that doesn’t mean the Capitol won’t find a way to get to them. She voices this fear to Rose and Koo when the three of them break off to relieve themselves. 

“We’re probably not a priority for them,” Koo offers. “They have the entire Resistance army at their front door—we’re just seven people. 

“True,” Rey says. “But...I don’t know. I have a bad feeling about this.” 

They’ve just set off again when someone says Rey’s name.

“Yes?”

A pause.

“ _ Rey _ ,” she hears again.

“Who’s asking for me?” she asks, turning to the other six.

But no one is asking for her. They’re all staring at her blankly. 

That’s when Rey knows the Capitol has found them. 

“ _ Rey _ !” A bird flaps out of one of the smaller tunnels that opens up into the main canal. It flies in a circle, disoriented. “ _ Rey! Rey!” _

It’s Ben’s voice. 

“They’re coming for us,” she says, reaching for her gun.

“Should we take a side tunnel—“ Finn starts to ask, but a moment later a flock of mockingjays swarms out of all the side tunnels, filling the air with their screams. 

“Keep moving!” Poe shouts. They all duck and run as fast as they can. The birds follow them, which Rey knows is because they’re lost and confused and think the humans know the way out, but it only serves to make her that much more anxious. 

“We’re not far!” Koo shouts. “Just keep moving, don’t stop!”

They have to stop, though, when the tunnel collapses ahead of them. They skid to a halt, searching for a way out. As one, they lurch into the tunnel to their right. The walkways are narrow here and the lights are weaker and have greater gaps between them, so they have to move with caution. Some of the mockingjays follow them; Salaka raises his gun to them, but Saile jerks it down. “You’ll give us away!” he hisses. “Just move!”

They run until they’re all out of breath, stitches in their sides preventing them from running much further. They drop down onto the walkway, legs hanging over the side as they gasp for breath. 

“Think they’ll throw anything else at us?” Rose asks between puffs of air. 

“Hard to tell.” Rey wipes her forehead. “Depends on how off course we are.”

They try to comm Bodhi or Kaydel, but there’s no response, and they don’t feel like sitting and waiting. Koo pulls out her datapad. “We’re east of where we should be,” she says. “We can’t turn back...hopefully this tunnel opens out and we can hang a left, then right, then left again.”

“So we just zigzag our way there?”

“I  _ think _ ,” Koo says. “It’s hard to know without a real visual.”

It’s all they have for now. Even if Koo isn’t sure about their whereabouts, they can’t go back—only forward. They heave themselves to their feet and trod on, walking because they’re still winded. It must be near dawn now, which means it will probably be light if and when they get above ground. It’s a risk they’ll have to take, since the Capitol clearly knows that they’re down here. 

The tunnel opens out, forking off into three smaller tunnels. Above them is a ladder, but it’s so dark up there that they can’t see where it leads. 

“None of these go left,” Rey says. “Just...forward.”

“This is a stupid system,” Koo grumbles. “Maybe this way will take us—“

There’s a surge of light from above, and they all raise their arms over their eyes, trying to see the cause. There’s a rattle on the ladder, and suddenly they see a bearded man peering at them. The light comes from his visor, which he turns on them. They grip their weapons, unsure of who he is and what he’ll do. He sees Rey and his eyes widen. He clearly recognizes her. 

“Who are you?” she asks, her grip tightening.

He gestures excitedly, holding two fingers to the side of his mouth and opening and closing them. 

“He’s an Avox,” Salaka realizes. 

The man nods rapidly and points at Rey again, gesturing something. She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

Unperturbed, he kisses three fingers from his left hand and raises them in a familiar salute, a smile on his face. Rey smiles back. 

“Can you help us?” she asks. “We’re trying to get to the outer circle.” 

“Rey,” Finn says in a warning tone, but the Avox nods again. 

“We’re trying to find a friend, maybe you know him—Chewie?”

The Avox makes a garbled laughing sound and nods. He knows Chewie. He gestures for them to follow him up the ladder.

“He could be working for the Capitol,” Finn whispers as soon as the Avox is out of hearing range.

“Maybe,” Rey agrees. “But we don’t have many options.” She goes first, climbing up the ladder. It gets lighter as she goes, and when she reaches the top, two pairs of hands help her up. They’re in some kind of underpass, what Rey assumes is an access point for the sewers. She looks around and sees a handful of men and women dressed in the same coveralls as the bearded man. They raise their hands in the salute, and Rey finds herself saluting back. Are all Avoxes sympathetic to her cause? Or just these? 

The bearded man brings them coveralls like the ones he and his comrades are wearing. Rey and the others obediently pull them on over their clothes, the logos on their backs indicating that they work for the sanitation department. This done, they follow him and several other Avoxes to a truck. One of them pulls up the floorboard and indicates that they should hide their weapons and Saile and Salaka’s cameras in there. 

“This could be a trap,” Finn warns in Rey’s ear. The possibility hasn’t eluded her, but she’s trying not to think about it. She has to trust these people. Of everyone living in the Capitol, they have the most reason to want to help her. 

At a nod from the bearded man, they climb into the back and sit on the benches along the truck walls. A man gives Rey his hat and she tucks her hair into it, pulling the cap down low over her face. Then the door closes behind them. 

“Well,” murmurs Saile, “either we’ve signed our own death warrants, or we’ve found the mythical Capitol Resistance.”

“Let’s hope it’s the latter,” Rey mutters back. 

The truck lurches, and suddenly they’re rolling out. They’re all nervous, but as the ride grows longer, the exhaustion from not sleeping the night before, coupled with the steady rumble of the truck, pulls them to sleep. 

Rey wakes when the truck jerks to a stop. Outside, they hear authoritative voices.

“Peacekeepers,” Finn murmurs. “Everyone act…”

“Like Avoxes?” 

Rey leans back against the wall again, tugging the cap lower over her face and feigning sleep. Just in time, the back door opens. Rey breathes deeply, painfully aware of how quiet it is. Of course it is, they’re all supposed to be Avoxes. 

The door slams shut again and someone thumps the side. The truck lurches off again. 

“Thank god,” Salaka sighs. 

It’s not a trap, after all. Or if it is, it’s a very elaborate and time-consuming one. Rey relaxes, nodding off again on the drive; she wakes up to the truck stopping a second time, the front door clanging shut. The back of the truck opens and the bearded man from before holds a finger to his lips to indicate silence. He and his comrade climb into the back and reach under the bench, pulling out a sheet of canvas. They lay the canvas on the floor and gesture to Rey. Confused, she allows them to lay her down on it and wrap it around her. 

“Seriously?” Saile whispers. “You’re gonna smuggle her in?”

The Avoxes, obviously, don’t say anything. Rey lies still as they fold the canvas over her head, obscuring her view. She can feel the truck shift, and then they’re pulling her out. One of them loads her onto his shoulder, and Rey forces herself not to move as he carries her a few yards. He stands still for a long moment, and then he’s carrying her again, shifting as he walks up a step or two. She brushes what feels like a door frame--he’s taking her inside somewhere. A few moments later, he sets her down on the ground. She keeps still and doesn’t move until she feels him unwrapping her. 

She’s in what looks like a living room. And standing over her is an enormous, hulking, hairy man. 

“Chewie?” she mouths.

He nods, and she thinks he smiles beneath his beard. 

The bearded Avox from the truck takes the canvas sheet just as the other Avox enters carrying another wrapped-up body slung over his shoulder. It’s Rose, flushed and excited when he releases her.

It’s an arduous process, but this is how they bring all of them inside. Poe is the last to be carried in; the other Avox brings in their guns and cameras. Chewie and the Avoxes have an animated conversation in sign language, and then the two strangers turn to Rey. 

“We can’t begin to thank you enough,” she says, clasping their hands. “Truly. We’re in your debt.”

The bearded man shakes his head; he touches his fingers to his lips and lets them fall in what Rey remembers as the sign for “thank you”. He and his comrade make the rebel salute again, and then they are gone, taking their sheets of canvas with them. 

Chewie warbles something at them, holding up a finger to indicate that they should stay. He stomps into a side room; when he returns, it’s with Maz.

“Maz!” Rey exclaims, running to hug the other woman. 

“Oh, my child,” Maz sighs, returning the embrace. “We were so worried something would happen. Thank goodness you’re all right.”

Chewie says something to Maz, who translates for the others. “You’re lucky you ran into Avoxes; there’s an entire underground network, and almost every Avox is part of it.”

“Did we put them in danger?” Rey wants to know. 

“No more than they were already in,” Maz says gently. “Now, you all look like you could use hot showers, a big breakfast, and sleep. Which will it be?”

Even though they’re exhausted, they’re still too wired to just go straight to bed. Showering off the sewers and eating something that isn’t synthetic sounds amazing. There are two bathtubs in the house, so they take turns; while two people are showering, the others are being fed by Maz and Chewie. 

“Is this house...safe?” Finn asks as Maz tips a generous portion of scrambled eggs onto his plate.

“Chewie removed every bug when he took over the lease,” Maz explains. “Not that he was under heavy surveillance anyway.”

“The Capitol really doesn’t suspect you?” Rey asks him. 

His speech is guttural, but Rey understands.  _ Not anymore _ .

“Chewie’s been an Avox for forty years,” Maz explains. “They stop caring after a while.”

“Is that how you’re able to live in such a big house?”

Maz cackles. “This is my house!”

Rey’s eyes widen. “ _ Your _ house?”

“Yes! The Capitol doesn’t know,” she explains. “I bought this house with cash and a fake name with the intention of making it a safe house in case things ever went south. If anyone asked, I was just going to tell them it was to maintain a degree of anonymity. But no one ever did. Chewie started renting...what, ten, fifteen years ago?”

_ Twelve _ , he growls.

“By that time he’d spent almost thirty years as an Avox, he was still working as a Peacekeeper, he’d been a model citizen—well, you know what I mean—so the Capitol stopped seeing him as a threat. He’d never be allowed to own property, of course, but when he turned in a rental application approved by the owner, they didn’t blink.”

Koo emerges from the bathroom, her blonde hair hanging wet and limp around her shoulders. “You’re up, Rey.”

Rey finds herself nodding off in the hot shower. She’s exhausted, and it’s just starting to hit her that this is a safe place. She uses shampoo and soap that smells like something nice and floral, not that boring, standard issue soap the Resistance uses. It makes her feel fresher, somehow. When she returns to the kitchen, it’s to find Cee and Artoo sitting with the others around the table. Cee lets out a dramatic wail and embraces Rey fondly. Artoo is clearly struggling to be awake so early, but he manages to hug Rey and tell her in a raspy voice that he’s so glad she’s safe. She’s surprised at how glad she is to see them.

Maz stuffs them with food—eggs, bacon, sausage, toast—and Rey eats until she nearly falls asleep in the eggs. A strong hand who she vaguely recognizes as Chewie’s guides her down the stairs and into a room, and next thing she knows, she’s falling asleep.

  
  



	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update because I don't think I'll have time to tomorrow!
> 
> I love seeing where y'all think the story is going and how you feel about certain characters and the events surrounding them--please keep them coming!! I'm serious when I say that reading your thoughts is the highlight of my week.

Rey doesn’t know what time it is or how long she’s been asleep when she finally wakes—there are no windows in here, no clocks. The room is mostly dark, save for the warm glow of a nightlight on the wall. Beside her, Rose is gently snoring.

Rey finds Maz, Poe, Koo, Cee, and Artoo in the kitchen, where they fix her a plate of food. She tucks in, too famished to care about how bad her table manners are. 

“Rey,  _ really _ ,” Cee chides, already back to his old self. 

“Where’s Chewie?” she asks around a mouthful of food. 

“He’s working. He’s been working a lot since the invasion.”

“How bad is it for people here?” Koo asks.

Maz shrugs. “We never go outside so we don’t really know. But the television keeps assuring us there isn’t a real threat to our safety, just keeps urging people to stay close to City Circle so they won’t be inconvenienced by the rebels.”

Rey snorts. She can feel Cee tense up so she asks, “How have you been, Cee?”

His vanity overrules his delicate sensibilities. “I’m so  _ bored _ I could scream!” he declares. Then, remembering his manners, he says, “But I’m grateful to Maz for saving our skins. If she hadn’t taken us here, we’d be in the tribute center with Ben.” 

“Or dead,” Artoo supplies. He’s in a much better mood now, which Rey chalks up to the darkness outside. 

“How did you manage to get away before the Capitol got to you?”

“Han, Luke, and Leia gave us a heads up,” Maz explains. “Or, they gave  _ me _ a heads up, and I dragged these two with me. The nice thing about the games is that we stylists flit from our homes to the tribute center nonstop, so no one got suspicious when they saw us carrying around packed bags. We were settled in here before Bodhi even blew that hole into the arena.”

“I still can’t believe no one knows you’re here,” Poe marvels. “I mean, you’re  _ right _ under their noses!”

“Which is exactly why they haven’t found us.” Maz leans back in her seat. “They think we flew off to the Resistance base with the others.”

Rey swallows her food, looking at the older woman. “Ben,” she says quietly.

Maz reaches forward to pat her hand. “I know,” she says soothingly. “I know. Chewie will be home in a few hours, and we can talk all about your plan then.”

By the time Chewie does get home, the others have woken up. He’s tired and grumpy from a night full of herding hysterical Capitol citizens into City Circle, but he visibly powers through it to discuss how they’re going to break Ben, Jyn, and Cassian out of the tribute center. The victors always take one car to the Presidential Palace, and a security detail always follows in their own vehicle. Sometimes another security detail rides ahead. 

“So how many people we talking?” Poe asks. “More to the point, will eight of us be enough?”

Chewie gives an affirmative.  _ Two in the car with the victors, three ahead, three behind _ .  _ Everyone but the drivers comes into the tribute center.  _

Rey chews her thumbnail. “So we could all dress like Peacekeepers, go inside, get the three of them, and then hightail it out of there?”

“Theoretically,” Maz translates. “But you’ll need to think of a way to ditch the vehicles and get back here undetected.”

“What about the Avoxes from before?” Rose asks. “They helped us once, would they do it again?” 

Chewie considers.  _ Yes.  _

“We can’t ask them to risk their lives again,” Rey begins. 

“Rey, if we’re ever going to ask people to risk their lives, now is the time to do it,” Finn says. “We still have the coveralls, and if we keep our visors on when we go as Peacekeepers, they won’t have a way to identify our faces.” 

“If the three vehicles split up, we can each take a different sewer access, swap out disguises, and come back up a different access point,” Rose says. “Then we can get on the truck and pretend we’re Avoxes going to work.” 

“It would be better if we split up _ , _ ” Maz translates. “Also, you’ll have to disguise Ben, Jyn, and Cassian. And Rey, of course.”

“Disguise them as Peacekeepers,” Saile suggests. “They’ll be looking for eleven people, not four Peacekeepers headed one way and a bunch of Avoxes headed another.”

Chewie considers this.  _ Someone else should be a Peacekeeper. Just to be safe.  _

“Bring Capitol disguises too,” Maz suggests. “Just to really throw them off. They won’t ask for identification—they never do with Capitol citizens.” 

“I’ll be a Peacekeeper with Rey and the victors,” Poe volunteers. “Koo, Salaka, and Saile are the most likely to be recognized by Capitol citizens, so they should go as Avoxes. Finn and Rose can go as Capitol citizens.”

“What about Chewie?” Rey asks. “I mean, no offense, but you sort of...stand out?”

“And the other Peacekeepers might recognize you,” Finn says. “So it’s less about disguising you after the extraction and more about disguising you...during it.”

Chewie rattles off a reply that even Maz has trouble translating.

“He says what he  _ could _ do...is find a way to already be stationed at the training center,” she says slowly. “That way he could make sure to let you in, but he wouldn’t be under suspicion when the Capitol investigates.”

They consider it. It will certainly make the escape harder without a knowledgeable guide, but he’s right that it would bring less suspicion on him if he was already at the training center and let them in that way.  _ Especially _ since, if he is discovered, the safehouse would be compromised, and all of them plus Ben, Jyn, and Cassian would be right back in Snoke’s hands. 

“That’s a better idea,” Rey decides. “Will it be hard to get yourself assigned to the training center?”

_ Not with the war going on _ , Chewie responds.  _ I’ll look into it tomorrow night _ .  _ And I’ll find Pollux, too. _

“Pollux?”

“The Avox who found you in the sewers,” Maz says. 

Rey feels a twinge of guilt that he risked his life for her and she didn’t even know his name until now.

“What about the vehicles?” Salaka asks. “Those will be harder to get, won’t they?”

Chewie scratches his beard. 

“Harder,” Maz says, “but not impossible. Let him sleep on it.”

He does go to bed not long after that, exhausted from the shift he just finished and already pre-exhausted for his upcoming shift. The rest of them drift to bed not long after, more out of a lack of anything to do than because they’re genuinely tired. Rey falls in and out of sleep and gives up when she hears stirring upstairs, creeping out of bed to join whoever’s up and about. 

It’s Maz and Chewie, but it’s a moment Rey clearly isn’t meant to see. Chewie is about to leave for the day, and he stoops down impossibly low to kiss Maz. It’s a practiced gesture, one that has come with months, maybe even years, of intimacy. Rey can only watch in amazement as Maz murmurs something to him and then swats his rear end as he turns to go. When she finally notices Rey standing at the top of the stairs, she lets out a delighted cackle. “Didn’t know, did you?”

“No,” she admits, cheeks coloring. 

“Well, that’s hardly your fault.” Maz pulls out a chair at the kitchen table and urges Rey to sit. She sets about loading a plate full of bacon and eggs. “We’re so used to keeping it quiet, you know, after years of hiding it. Avoxes aren’t allowed romantic liaisons with Capitol citizens, and if we’d been discovered, it would have been both our heads.”

“Years?” Rey repeats. “That long?”

“That long,” Maz confirms with a smile, setting the heaping plate in front of Rey. “But it never feels that way.” She watches Rey eat, but the younger woman is not self conscious enough to let it bother her. “If you live long enough, you see the same eyes in different faces.”

“What does that mean?” Rey asks around a mouthful of eggs. 

Maz shrugs. “Nothing.” She’s quiet for a long moment. Then, “What do you know about Luke and Leia’s parents?”

Rey swallows. She doesn’t know much. Nobody does. “They died a long time ago, didn’t they? Weren’t Luke and Leia raised by their aunt and uncle?” 

“Yes,” Maz says softly. “They were.”

“What about their parents?” Rey asks.

Maz leans back in her seat. “Have you ever heard of Anakin Skywalker?”

Rey turns the name over in her head. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Why?”

“He was a victor.”

Rey frowns. “I would’ve heard of him. And I would’ve remembered, too, because of his last name.”

“The Capitol did everything they could to wipe him from our memories. But when you knew him personally...well, it’s hard to forget that man.” Maz gives her a sad smile. “Anakin Skywalker was the first victor from District 5. He won when he was only a boy. He was excited to be a victor, to be treated well by the Capitol. But then President Palpatine came along.” Maz’s voice grows cold. “Palpatine capitalized on Anakin’s popularity and good looks. The fatherless son of a rebel turned into the Capitol Golden Boy. As soon as he was of age, Palpatine encouraged Capitol citizens to pay for the pleasure of his company.”

Rey knows what that means—all the victors do. She winces. “Oh.”

“Anakin went mad from it,” Maz says quietly. “He began lashing out. So Palpatine had his mother killed.” 

Rey’s appetite has vanished. 

“They were hoping to subdue Anakin, to make him behave, and he did...but he was full of hatred for the Capitol. He quietly worked to take down everything for which they stood. And he wasn’t alone—he was joined by a member of Palpatine’s council, a bright and beautiful woman named Padmé Amidala. They were in love, and it is because of them that the Resistance became what it is today.”

Rey’s heart twinges. “But Palpatine found out.”

Maz bows her head. “Yes. They were  _ so close _ to destroying the Capitol...but while Padmé was pregnant with the twins, they were discovered. Tortured to death, both of them, and the twins were shipped off to all that remained of Anakin’s family—a stepbrother and his wife. All trace of Anakin and Padmé were removed from public memory, erased from the archives, and now the Capitol pretends that no such people ever existed.

“But that wasn’t the end of it for Luke and Leia. Do you think it was a coincidence that  _ both _ children of Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala were reaped? Or that the aunt and uncle who took them in died in a house fire when Luke and Leia were supposed to be home?  _ Or _ that the only son of Leia was reaped?”

“This is all about Anakin Skywalker,” Rey realizes. “The Capitol will never feel secure as long as his memory is alive.”

“Anakin and Padmé were friends of mine,” Maz says, still in that quiet tone. “They were young when they died. Younger than Ben. I see so much of them in him.” She reaches forward and holds Rey’s chin, tilting her head to look into her eyes. “And I see so much of them in  _ you _ .  _ You _ have the power to take down the Capitol and all that they stand for, Rey. I know that right now, Ben is your priority—and I support you every step of the way through this rescue mission. But I’m asking you to think about what you would leave behind if you took him and left.”

“The Resistance will win—“

“The Resistance is walking into a trap,” Maz says frankly. “A desperate trap and a poorly laid one, but a trap nonetheless. They’re taking so much ground that they haven’t stopped and asked themselves  _ why _ .”

“Because…” Rey starts to say, but she truthfully doesn’t know. “All of the districts support the Resistance.”

“You’ve seen the numbers. And you know as well as I do that there are Capitol reinforcements in all the districts. Leia’s been calling in her own reinforcements, hasn’t she? She’s moved the base, too. So the whole Resistance army is here in the Capitol, and only half the Capitol army is here. So where’s the other half?”

“Waiting to corner us.” Rey stands up abruptly. “We have to warn Leia—“

“How?” Maz looks eerily calm. “You haven’t been able to get in touch with Bodhi since the sewers. You think that’s an accident?”

Rey sinks back into her chair. 

“Like I said, it’s a desperate trap and a poorly laid one, but it could also destroy the Resistance if it works.”

“So, what?” Rey asks around a lump in her throat. “How am I supposed to help?”

Maz takes her hands. “You are the Mockingjay. And what’s more than that, you’re Rey Niima. You survived two Hunger Games—“

“The second one doesn’t count.”

“You survived  _ two _ Hunger Games and you unified twelve divided districts. The people sleeping downstairs now joined you for no other reason than because you asked them to. Pollux and his friends smuggled you here knowing what was at risk if they were caught.” She squeezes Rey’s hands. “Save Ben. Do that before anything else. But don’t let that be the end of it.” 

Rey doesn’t know what to say, but she feels that Maz already knows that. The older woman gives her hands one last squeeze and then gets up, climbing up her footstool to reach the dishes in the sink. 

Rey picks at her food, turning over the conversation in her mind. She hasn’t thought much beyond saving Ben, in no small part because up until she found herself in Chewie’s living room, she wasn’t even sure she would survive the attempt...but she and her friends did seem to operate under the intention of getting back to the base as soon as Ben, Jyn, and Cassian were recovered. But there may not even be a base for them to return to. 

_ Ladies and gentlemen, let the 76th Annual Hunger Games begin. _

  
  



	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we get started, I wanna announce something that, if you follow me on Tumblr or read "the play's the thing" you probably already know about, but I'm gonna say it here anyway: some of y'all donated to my ko-fi earlier this month and helped me through a rough patch. It isn't the first time, and unfortunately, I have a bad feeling it won't be the last, so to thank all donors, past and present, I'm showing my gratitude by putting sneak peeks of upcoming chapters on my ko-fi. If you've donated in the last thirty days, you will be able to see an exclusive look at the next chapter. I plan to do this longterm, so if you are ever feeling generous enough to help me out, just know that that will always be there as a thank you. 
> 
> Okay. So. A LOT happens in this chapter. I will have more notes at the end. Just. Yeah.

Everyone gathers in the kitchen when Chewie comes home that night. He isn’t alone—he brings Pollux and another Avox. 

“This is BeeBee,” Maz says. “He’s also a Peacekeeper, and he has access to the vehicles.”

BeeBee is in awe of Rey, but he finally manages to sign to Maz that he will have three cars waiting for them at the depot. He will drive Rose and Finn, Poe will drive Rey and the liberated victors, and Saile will drive the film crew. Pollux brings maps of the sewer system beneath City Circle and indicates escape routes for all of them. It takes a long time for them to cement the plan; there are still holes in it and a solid possibility that it will end with a firing squad, but Rey feels really and truly happy for the first time in a long time. Finally, she is going to see Ben again. 

.

At sunset, Rey, Finn, Rose, Poe, Koo, Salaka, and Saile don their Sanitation coveralls and walk the two blocks to the train station. No one stops them or even looks at them, eyes sliding right over the presumed Avoxes. The group finds the Peacekeeper uniforms and guns where Chewie promised they would be and re-emerge clad in white. No one stops them or looks at them this time, either. 

The depot is a fair walk, but it’s not bad. BeeBee is lounging in the driver’s seat of an armored vehicle; silently, Rose and Finn climb in with them while Poe and Rey take the second car and Koo, Salaka, and Saile take the third. Poe and Saile follow BeeBee out of the depot and onto the streets. Rey’s eyes are wide as she takes in everything. She’s seen clips of the Capitol on the holo, of course, but she only ever got to see a little tiny bit of it as a tribute and then victor. It’s so  _ much _ . Even in the middle of a war, the city is extravagant, full of lights and sound and so, so many people. 

The tribute center is somehow both more imposing and less than Rey remembered. She’s terrified the whole twenty-foot walk from the car to the door that they’ll see through her visor. They don’t, of course, and when Finn states, “The president wants to film another broadcast,” the Peacekeepers on duty usher them in without a trace of suspicion. 

Chewie is inside, distinguishable even in uniform; Finn repeats his statement and Chewie beckons them to follow him. Rey can hardly breathe as she, Finn, Rose, Koo, and Salaka follow Chewie onto the elevator. They don’t talk the whole way, barely even breathe as they are taken up to the tenth floor. Could it really be this easy?

Rey has never been to the tenth floor, but she’s assuming it didn’t always look like this—like a combination prison and hospital. There are tables littered with syringes, all unused. Waiting. 

Chewie is the one to key in the access codes. The first door he opens is Cassian’s. He looks awful—haggard and much, much paler than Rey remembers. He scowls. “You going to shoot me with a gun or a camera?”

“Funny,” Finn says, gesturing with his gun. He’s so good at this, at looking like he’s still a Peacekeeper. Rey feels like she’s painfully obvious. If she is, Cassian doesn’t say anything, just ambles out of his cell and waits while Chewie lets out Jyn. She looks even worse than Cassian, her face so pale it’s almost translucent. She gets up on shaky legs. 

“What’s up, fuckos?” she rasps.

Rey resists the urge to laugh. 

The third and final door is Ben’s. Rey is sure she stops breathing as the door slides open. It’s him. It’s really him sitting there, breathing, looking up at them with resignation. 

Rey has never seen anything so wonderful and terrible. 

Ben pushes himself to his feet and walks with slow, measured footsteps out of his cell. He doesn’t say anything or even look back at them, just stares ahead and waits. 

“Let’s go,” Finn says, and they all cram into the elevator. Rey moves so that Rose is between herself and Ben, because she just knows that if she’s standing beside him, she’ll lose her mind or her nerve or both. She grips her gun, wills herself to remain calm. 

Chewie leaves them on the first floor, face unreadable behind his visor. Rey waits for Cassian, Jyn, and Ben to get in the backseat, and then she shuts the door and clambers into the front seat. There’s only a small window between the front and back seat, so none of the victors see her reach over to squeeze Poe’s hand. 

“It’ll be okay,” he whispers, thumb rubbing her knuckles.

And then they’re following BeeBee away from the tribute center and onto the streets. They are filled with people in loud clothes with even louder voices, oblivious to what’s happening in front of them. 

Rey and the others have decided not to tell the victors anything, just as an extra safety measure. She’s just as happy, because she doesn’t think she could hold a conversation with them right now anyway. She just sits and waits and watches. Turn left. Change lanes. Any minute now, they’ll veer off course. Rey’s fingers dig into the seat. When they pause at a light, Poe reaches over and grips her hand again.

“ _ It will be okay _ ,” he whispers again.

Rey wants to believe him.

The signal is small but clear; BeeBee flashes a turn signal and then turns it off, repeating the gesture three times. Poe flashes his lights in acknowledgement before he jerks the car down a side street, honking at pedestrians to get out of the way. They leap to the sides, screaming and looking scandalized. 

“What the  _ hell _ —“ Jyn sputters. 

“Right, right, turn right!” Rey shouts. 

Poe does, screeching to a halt in front of an alley. They don’t hear sirens or gunshots or anything to indicate that they’ve been noticed, but they aren’t taking any chances. “All right, everyone out!”

“The doors are  _ locked _ ,” Jyn says, but Rey is already yanking them open while Poe pulls off the lid of a manhole. 

“Come on, you first,” he says, indicating Rey. She doesn’t argue, just shimmies down the ladder as fast as her gun and visor allow. Ben is right behind her (which, she suspects, was not an accident on Poe’s part), his feet and hands sure and steady down the ladder. When he reaches the bottom he steps to the side to make room for Jyn and Cassian, and then he turns to look at her, curious. 

“Who are you?”

Tears spring to her eyes. As many times as she’s thought about reuniting with Ben, as many times as she’s imagined it, she has no idea what to say now.  _ Who are you? _ Who is she? “Someone who loves you.” 

His eyes widen. “ _ Rey _ —“

She yanks off the visor and throws her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. She sobs when his arms come around her, his hand cradling her head. Oh, how she’s missed him, how she’s missed  _ feeling _ him…

“I thought you were dead,” he murmurs. “You were shot…”

“I was wearing a bulletproof vest, I’m okay, just bruised.”

He leaves a shaky sigh. “They showed us the footage...told us you were dead…”

“Rey!”

Jyn and Cassian have just come down the ladder together, Jyn still being too shaky to manage on her own. She leans heavily on Cassian but manages an awed grin at Rey. “The Mockingjay come back to life,” she rasps. “Knew it would take more than a bullet to take you down.”

Poe hops down beside them. “Escape now, hug later,” he says, squeezing Rey’s shoulder nonetheless. She looks up at Ben, who looks as if he can’t believe she’s here. 

“Come on,” she murmurs, taking his hand. They follow Poe down the walkway, following Pollux’s careful instructions. Ben can’t stop staring at her, nor can she stop staring at him. 

“You’re alive,” she whispers. 

“ _ You’re _ alive,” he murmurs back, squeezing her hand. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jyn says from where Poe is carrying her. “We’re all alive.”

Rey’s throat thickens. “I heard about Baze.”

“Bastards,” Jyn spits. “They killed my father too, did you know?”

“I didn’t,” Rey says honestly. “I’m so sorry, Jyn.” 

“Yeah, me too.” There isn’t any real rancor behind it, and Rey would almost prefer if there was. 

“So, what, the Resistance sent you to save us?” Cassian asks. His earlier surliness is gone, replaced with excitement.

“No one sent us,” Rey says. She almost says,  _ Leia wouldn’t send anyone _ , but she looks up at Ben and remembers that the whole reason he’s here is because his parents left him in the arena. Yes, she  _ knows _ what they had to do, but...how can Ben ever forgive them? “I...voluntarily led an extraction.”

“And they just allowed the Mockingjay to infiltrate the Capitol?” 

Rey doesn’t know how to answer, so she doesn’t.

“They don’t know, do they?” Ben asks. He looks half-exasperated and half-amused. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she says. “I’m here. And you’re safe.”

He squeezes her hand again. 

They’ve been walking for a while when they finally find three Peacekeeper uniforms and guns pooled exactly where Pollux told them they would be. “We’re all going disguised as Peacekeepers,” Rey explains. “We’ll have to walk a couple blocks. Jyn, do you think you can manage?”

“Yes. For this, I can.”

Ben, Jyn, and Cassian pull the Peacekeeper uniforms on over the loose white clothes they’ve been wearing in the tribute center. The uniforms aren’t a perfect fit, but Rey has a feeling no one will be paying too close attention. Jyn is still shaky, especially with the weight of the gun, but she holds herself up surprisingly well. 

“Okay,” Poe says. “Let’s go.” 

They go up three sets of stairs, down a long corridor, and walk out into the train station near Maz and Chewie’s house. They walk slowly but with purpose, acting as if they are on a routine patrol. No one looks twice at them, accepting them for what they appear to be. Poe and Cassian walk on either side of Jyn; she stumbles once, about halfway there, but rights herself and keeps walking with pained determination. When they reach the door of Maz and Chewie’s house, Rey raises her fist and gives two knocks, pauses, knocks once, pause, then two more knocks. Maz opens the door nearly at once, ushering them inside. Jyn collapses as soon as the door closes, Poe picking her up effortlessly and carrying her to the couch. 

“ _ Maz _ ?” Ben asks in amazement. 

She gives him a sad smile. “Hi, sweetie.”

“Ben!” Cee cries, sailing in with Artoo behind him. “Thank heavens!”

“What is this?” Ben asks, looking a little panicked.

“It’s a safe house,” Rey says, taking his hand again. 

“Safe for now,” Artoo mutters. “But who knows after this little stunt?”

“None of that,” Maz says sharply. “Did you have any trouble at the tribute center?”

“No,” Rey says. “We didn’t have any trouble along the way.”

“Let’s just hope the others haven’t had any trouble, either,” she says firmly. “Now, the three of you look like you’re starving, let me fix you something to eat.”

Rey moves to follow her, but Ben holds her back. She tips her head up to look at him. He’s still giving her that look from the sewers, like he can’t quite believe she’s here and real. “You came back for me,” he murmurs. 

“I’m sorry you were left behind.” Tears spring to her eyes again, and she wishes they weren’t doing this in Maz’s front hall, still wearing their Peacekeeper uniforms while their friends are in the next room. “I’m so sorry…”

“I knew the risks,” he says, his thumb brushing the tears from her cheek. “Getting you out was our top priority. Everything else was secondary.” 

“But they  _ tortured _ you,” she hiccups. 

“I knew the risks,” he says again, cradling her jaw. 

“But—“

He leans down, touches his lips to hers. It isn’t really a kiss, just the ghost of one, and after a moment he rests his forehead against hers. “Can we...go somewhere?”

Her fingers dig into the fabric of his uniform. “Yes. This way.” She takes his hand and leads him down the hall, through the kitchen, and down the stairs. She knows that they have not gone unnoticed, but no one calls out or stops them. They understand.

She leads him to the room she shares with Rose and assumes that Rose won’t mind if she’s booted—Rey has never made a secret of her feelings for Ben. She shuts the door behind them and doesn’t even have time to turn on the lights before Ben wraps his arms around her, burying his face in her neck. “Do you...do you still mean what you said?” he asks. “The last thing you said to me before I knocked you out...do you still—“

“Yes,” she says at once. “Yes, I still love you, I never stopped—“

He cuts her off with a kiss, his lips hesitant and unsure against hers. She tangles her fingers in his hair and kisses back, slow and gentle and trembling just a little. “I love you too,” he breathes. “I didn’t know if you’d understand…”

She presses herself closer, deepens the kiss. “I missed you so much,” she whispers. “Ben…” Her fingers curl at his collar.

“Let’s take off these…”

“Yeah…”

They wriggle out of the Peacekeeper uniforms, hands fumbling to help each other. When Rey steps out of her uniform, Ben picks her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, and backs her into the wall. Hard. Rey hisses, pain shooting down her back.

“Did I hurt you?” he asks at once, fear in his voice. 

“I just...my back…”

He sets her down. “I’m sorry—“

“I’m still bruised pretty bad,” she explains. “From the bullet.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—“

She cuts him off with a kiss, ignoring the dull throb just below her shoulder. “It’s okay. I promise.” She walks him backward until he sinks down onto the bed. She climbs into his lap, winding her arms around him. “This okay?”

“Perfect.” He kisses her, gently holding her waist. She didn’t think he’d be feeling up to...well. Any of this. She has no idea what he’s been through and where his mind is now. Does he even want this? Or is this some blind reaction to her? Her center brushes against him and she buries her face in his shoulder to stifle her gasp. His body, at least, wants this. 

“Rey.” He pulls back to look at her. “Is this...okay?”

She nods fervently. “Yes. I...is it okay with  _ you _ ?”

“It’s...surprising,” he admits. “I didn’t think I’d...but yes, it’s...more than okay.” To show her, he curls his fingers around her hips and draws her closer. The material of his pants is thin enough that his hardness juts up and against Rey. She tugs at his shirt and he obligingly pulls it off, reaching next for hers. He undresses her top half completely, bowing his head to take one of her nipples in his mouth. 

Rey gasps at the sensation, tugging at his hair. 

“You are perfect,” he murmurs. “Truly perfect.” His tongue laves at her and she arches her back, the pain from earlier forgotten. His hands keep her hips firmly planted against his, the friction between them sending warm pulses through her. She moans his name, uses the fingers in his hair to tug him back so that she can kiss him. Then she scoots back, off of his lap, to unbutton her pants. He catches her wrist before she can fully pull them down. “Rey...are you--”

“I’m sure,” she says, voice trembling. “I have no idea what I’m doing but...I want this. I want  _ you _ .” 

He releases her wrist and pulls her pants down her legs. Then he tugs at her underwear, sliding it down her legs to pool around her ankles with her pants. 

Rey isn’t a stranger to being bare--even before the games, when her stylists would leave her naked for long stretches of time while they plucked and poked, she shared cramped living quarters with dozens of other girls, sharing everything from clothes to beds to showers. Her own nudity is not something Rey has ever felt particularly aware of. Not until this moment, when Ben’s hands curl around the backs of her thighs as his eyes drink her in. 

He leans forward and presses a surprisingly chaste kiss to her belly. One of his hands slides up her thigh and gently, gently, his finger slides along her wet folds. She whimpers, widening her stance so that he can touch more of her. His finger rubs circles around her clit until her fingers dig into the bare skin of his shoulders, and then he curls two fingers inside of her. 

“Ben,” she groans, bucking against his hand. 

“I’ve thought about this a lot,” he murmurs. “Touching you like this.” He pumps his fingers in and out of her, slow and steady. “I thought about you every day. You were all that got me through those long nights in the tribute center.”

Rey hates that in the middle of this beautiful moment, with his hand inside her, she begins to cry. 

“What is it?” he asks, withdrawing his hand. “Rey?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, wiping furiously at her eyes. “It’s just...you’re here.” A sob breaks loose from her chest. “You’re really here.”

The kiss he gives her is tender and reassuring. Rey drinks him in, presses her naked body against his. “I love you,” she whispers.

“I love you, Rey.” He stands up, still kissing her, and reaches for the drawstring of his pants. 

Their breaths are both ragged as he slides down the waistband of his pants, his underwear soon following. He steps out of the pool of clothes at his feet and lies back on the bed, pulling Rey’s hand. She crawls up his naked body and reaches down to kiss his cheeks, his jaw, his nose, his chest and shoulders, until he finally captures her lips with his. She can feel his heart pounding beneath her hand. She slides back until she can feel his hard length against her slick folds; she rocks back and forth, their lips swallowing one another’s groans as they both feel the other’s arousal. 

Ben reaches down and slips two fingers inside of her, a low growl forming when she flutters around him. He adds a third finger, causing both of them to pant, and then he withdraws them. “Rey…”

“I’m ready,” she whispers. “Show me what to do.”

His hands guide her hips. “Open yourself for me, love.”

Her heart sings at the epithet, and she reaches down, her fingers slipping into her folds and parting them for him. She eases herself over the head of his cock and gasps at the firm roundness of it. She takes in a little more of him and whimpers, her hips stuttering as she feels how  _ solid _ he is inside her. He’s saying something, but she can’t hear anything over the rush of blood in her ears. She slides down until he’s fully sheathed in her, and they both pant at the sensation. She doesn’t move, just lets her walls throb around him.

“Rey?”

“I’m all right,” she says. “I just...I need a minute…”

He touches her hip, her breast, rubs her calf soothingly. 

When she thinks she has finally, finally adjusted, she moves her hips, drawing a long groan from Ben. She braces her hands on his chest as she figures out a rhythm. His hips cant to meet hers, his breathing ragged as his fingers dig so hard into her hips that she’s sure he’ll leave bruises. She experimentally swirls her hips and he surges up to meet her. 

“Let’s try something,” he suggests, shifting so that he is sitting up. Her legs wrap around him, drawing him closer as he thrusts slowly into her. Her head falls back, arms trembling as she holds onto his shoulders. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” she whines. “Yes, don’t stop…”

He doesn’t, continuing his gentle thrusting until she digs her heels into his back. “I need…”

He kisses her jaw. “What do you need?”

“More.”

He thrusts a little harder, a little faster.

“ _ More _ ,” she begs.

His hips snap against hers as he pants into her neck, fingers holding her hips in place. She is a mess, gasping into his shoulder and trying desperately to match his thrusts with her own. His hand slides between them, his fingers circling just above where they are joined. Rey feels a familiar tightening sensation just before her release crashes over her. She cries out into his shoulder as she flutters around him, her sex pulsing like it has a heartbeat of its own. He follows moments later, smothering her with kisses as he fills her center with heat. 

They hold each other long after their releases ebb, wrapped so tightly around one another it is as if they are trying to become one. Rey realizes she’s crying again, and even more surprisingly, Ben is crying too. She murmurs nonsense in his ear, tries to tell him with made up words and gentle kisses that he’s all right now--he’s safe. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY LISTEN
> 
> I AM A GIANT BABY AND I HATED THE HIJACKING PEETA STORYLINE SO I COULDN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT. I thought about it!! I was gonna do it!! And then I got to that part and I was like nope, nuh-uh, can't do it. I'M A BIG BABY SO WHAT. 
> 
> Also...yeah, okay, look, I know having sex isn't like, your first instinct after being held prisoner and lowkey tortured, but fanfic is nothing if not self-indulgent and I am indulging myself, o k a y


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating a day early because I'm gonna be at Pride tomorrow and I KNOW I will not have the time or energy to post this then.
> 
> Y'all, I have never seen a group of people who felt so strongly about one of my writing choices--your reviews were cracking me up! And I'm glad we're all in agreement about non-hijacked Ben.
> 
> We're getting so close to the end!!! WHAT WILL HAPPEN??
> 
> Also of total irrelevance, I started posting ANOTHER fic because I'm just That Bitch™. If you like accurate portrayals of BDSM that are NOT bad Twilight fanfiction, check out Fifty Shades of Rey. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey wakes up a long time later to someone knocking on the door. She doesn’t know when she and Ben crawled under the sheets, but his arm tightens around her waist as he also rouses.

“Rey?” It’s Poe. “Rey...I’m so sorry to interrupt, but some of the others are back.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” she calls. She turns to Ben, tries to see his face in the dim glow of the light coming in from under the door. “I have to go,” she tells him. “You should stay here if you want.”

“No.” He strokes her knuckles. “I want to come with you.”

They find their clothes and dress quickly, running fingers through their hair to mitigate the disheveledness. Rey takes his hand and leads him upstairs.

Koo, Salaka, Saile, and Pollux are all sitting around the kitchen table in Sanitation coveralls. They all look a little sweaty, as if they’ve been running and have only just gotten a break. 

“We were chased,” Koo explains at Rey’s questioning look. “We had to split up a little earlier than anticipated, so we jumped ship and made a run for it. And by that I mean we literally jumped out of the car and ran into a crowd. Thank god we were still wearing our uniforms--they were so confused. We finally made it into the train station and were able to swap clothes, and even that was close.”

“They didn’t see your faces?” Poe asks.

Saile shakes his head. “No. Pollux was the only person to see us after we swapped clothes.”

“That’s good,” Maz says encouragingly. “Really.” She’s cooking again, as she usually is these days. Rey wonders if she only does it to occupy her hands, much the same way she was always designing something or altering outfits when she was a stylist. 

“Still no sign of Finn and Rose and BeeBee?” Rey asks quietly.

Salaka shakes his head. “Not since we split up. Peacekeepers were after them, too.”

“We don’t know anything yet,” Maz says in a firm tone. “No one is allowed to panic yet, all right? Now, who’s hungry?”

They gather in the living room with heaping plates and flip channels to see if anyone has anything to say about the freed victors. They don’t, of course--Rey highly doubts that Snoke wants  _ anyone _ to know about the escaped victors, or that a group of rebels was able to seamlessly infiltrate his ranks. Pollux has to go after a while, signing to Maz that he’ll be in touch if he hears anything. Rey embraces him before he goes.

“Thank you for everything,” she tells him. 

His smile is tired but genuine. 

.

It’s late when Chewie finally staggers through the door. He looks exhausted, but his eyes crinkle when he sees Ben. 

“Hello, Chewie,” Ben says quietly.

Chewie wraps him in a hug, growling something not even Rey can understand. Ben returns the embrace.

_ They don’t suspect me _ , Chewie says as Maz plunks him down at the table, pushing a plate of food in front of him.  _ They questioned all of us, but they know protocol wasn’t breached. They know you had an informant, but they don’t know who it is.  _

“That’s good,” Rey says. “Right?”

He nods.  _ Yes. We’re safe for now _ . 

She tries not to think about that  _ for now _ .

“And...Finn and Rose and BeeBee?” she prods.

_ They haven’t been captured yet. The commander said they were still pursuing the suspects--that’s all I know _ . 

“They’re probably on their way back now,” Poe says. “BeeBee knows what he’s doing, and Finn and Rose have good instincts.”

Rey wishes she could be as certain. It’s just...she has a bad feeling about this.

.

Dawn comes and goes, and still no word from the others. They are all a tired, anxious mess by now, and Maz finally suggests that they try to rest. 

“We have no idea what’s happening, so there’s no use worrying ourselves into a state because of it,” she reasons. Chewie has to get some sleep before his next shift, anyway. Jyn and Cassian volunteer to take the couch in the living room, so if Finn and Rose do come back, they’ll be able to let them in.

“I’m sorry,” Ben says when he and Rey climb back into bed. “You went to so much trouble to bring Jyn and Cassian and me back…”

“They volunteered,” she says, but she feels guilty nonetheless. She asked them to come with her. They could’ve said no, of course, but they wouldn’t be in this mess if she hadn’t asked. 

He wraps his arms around her, pulls her against his chest. “I’m sorry,” he says again.

“Don’t be.” She kisses his chin. “They knew the risks. We all did.”

“Still.” His hand splays across her lower back. “No one’s ever done this much for me, Rey.”

_ I know _ , she thinks. “I love you,” she says instead. 

“I love you, Rey.”

.

She doesn’t know what time it is when she wakes up; she doesn’t even remember what time they went to bed. She feels refreshed, though, and realizes it was one of the first uninterrupted sleeps she’s had in a long time--due in no small part, she thinks, to the warm, firm body around her. She’s so...content. She could stay here forever.

Until, of course, she remembers that Finn and Rose are still missing. No one woke her to tell her otherwise. 

She shifts in Ben’s arms, wondering if she can get out of bed and slip upstairs without his noticing. His arms clench around her, his eyes flying open. They have a wild look in them, as if he’s running for his life and not lying in bed in a safehouse.

“It’s okay,” she says, stroking his cheek. “It’s okay, you’re safe, I’m here...I’m here.”

The wild look fades from his eyes, little by little. His breathing slows. “I forgot where I was.”

“I know. It’s okay.” She kisses his nose. “You’re okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She kisses his cheek, his forehead, his chin, his lips. “It’s okay.” She starts to pull back but his lips chase after hers, his massive hand cradling her head so that he can deepen the kiss. His breath is stale, as she’s sure hers is, but she moans at the feeling of his mouth on hers anyway. 

“Can I touch you?” he asks.

Dimly, she remembers that she was going upstairs to see if anyone had heard from Finn and Rose, but there’s a jitteriness to Ben that she knows won’t be helped by her leaving. “Yes, please.”

His hands roam up and down her body, feeling every dip and curve--almost like he’s trying to reassure himself that she really is there. She shifts over him, straddling his hips so that he can really feel her, and she becomes starkly aware of the fact that she isn’t wearing any pants, just her standard issue underwear. He groans, his hands cupping her ass and pushing her up and down his stiffening member. Rey sits up to tug off her shirt, then reaches down to help Ben out of his. 

“I could get used to waking up like this,” he mutters, and she lets out a breathy laugh. 

“Yeah...me too.” She bends down to kiss him, then crawls down his body, kissing the muscles in his chest and abdomen. She tugs at the waistband of his pants, kissing a trail down his legs as she pulls these off. When she comes back up to take off his underwear, she leans in to kiss his cock, but he stops her.

“Please don’t,” he says, gentle but anxious. 

“I’m sorry,” she says at once. “I didn’t…”

“It’s okay.” He sits up, pulls off his underwear. “You didn’t know.” He leans forward to kiss her, leaving her in no doubt that he still wants to touch her. His hand reaches for her underwear and gives it a tug; she leans back to pull it down her legs before she wraps her arms around him, letting him pull her onto his lap. His finger rubs her clit, eliciting whimpering sounds that would embarrass her if she wasn’t so eager for his touch. He moves his hand so that his thumb circles her clit while two of his fingers slip inside her. Her head drops to his shoulder, her breath coming in little pants as he pumps his fingers in her slick heat. 

“Ben,” she whines.

He removes his fingers and guides his cock to her entrance. She braces herself, arms wrapped tight around him, as he fills her. He pauses, stilling himself when he is mostly inside her. “Is this…?”

She responds by sliding forward until all of him is in her. “Perfect,” she hums. 

He thrusts slowly at first, building to a rhythm that has her spine arching. He moves faster and harder when she asks, his fingers working diligently at her clit. Her release takes her by surprise, her thighs shaking as she clamps them around his body. His thrusts become frantic until he’s spilling his own release inside her, his chest heaving against hers.

“I can’t believe,” she mumbles, “you wouldn’t do this to me before the Quarter Quell.”

He presses a kiss to the top of her head. “I didn’t want you to regret it.”

“I could never regret being with you.” She lifts her head to kiss him. She decides to go upstairs now that he seems calmer (and now, if she’s being honest, that she isn’t distractingly aroused). First, however, she’s going to wash off the sweat and sex. “I’m going to take a shower. Do you...do you want to come with me?”

“Yes.”

Showering with Ben is surprisingly nonsexual. He just...holds her as they stand under the hot spray. Rey can see in this light the marks of his abuse, long lines running along his back and upper arms. He can see, too, the bruise that takes up half her back, the pinprick where the bullet hit her. He helps her wash her hair, watches her with an unfathomable tenderness as she uses the bar of soap to wash him. When they step out, skin red from the hot water, they dry each other with towels and help each other dress. Rey thought that she would be the one to take care of Ben, but she begins to wonder if taking care of her helps him somehow--as if it’s easier to care for another person than it is for oneself. 

If Maz notices that they both have wet hair when they come up, she doesn’t say anything, just plies them with food. Rey glances in the living room and sees Jyn and Cassian asleep on the couch, a familiar intimacy in the way they are wrapped together. She glances back at Ben. “I didn’t know…?”

He gives her a small smile. “I had my suspicions. They would’ve been secretive about it--just one more weapon for the Capitol to use against them.”

_Just like Galen_ _Erso_. 

Chewie doesn’t eat with his usual gusto, toying with his food instead. He promises to find out what he can before leaving for his shift. 

“He’s nervous,” Maz confesses. “Worries they’ll have traced all this back to him. Don’t you start,” she says sharply when Rey opens her mouth. “He wouldn’t have risked it if he didn’t think it was worth risking.”

“And there’s no way to get in contact with the Resistance?” Ben asks, his hand finding Rey’s. 

Rey shakes her head. “No. We would’ve heard from them by now. Maz thinks the Capitol’s jammed our communications.”

“You think they know you’re here?”

“Yes. When we were making our way in, we were surrounded by jabberjays who kept screaming my name.”

“Ah.” He takes a bite of toast. 

She cocks her head. “What are you thinking?”

He hesitates long enough that her heart starts to pound. 

“Ben,  _ what _ ?”

“I think,” he says slowly, “that it’s possible the Capitol has already found your friends.”

Rey bites her lip. “You think they found them even though they told the Peacekeepers otherwise?”

He nods. “It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book—telling a lie to root out the rat. My guess is they told another group of suspects that your friends had been captured to see what you’ll do next. That way they’ll know who to go after.”

Rey’s throat tightens. “So...in order to keep suspicion away from Chewie...I should do...what, exactly?”

Ben and Maz share a look.

“Please don’t tell me to do nothing,” she says, her voice cracking. 

“They  _ know _ you’ll try to save your friends because it’s who you are,” he says gently. “You’d risk your life for perfect strangers, of course you’ll try to rescue your friends.”

“They could be being  _ tortured _ or  _ killed _ —“

“Tortured, yes,” he agrees. “But they won’t kill them while they’re still hunting for you.”

Rey’s head begins to ache. 

“I’m sorry,” Ben says quietly. 

Rey gets up, begins to pace up and down the kitchen. She’s been one step ahead of the Capitol for most of this, but she’s running out of steps—it won’t be long before they overtake her. She has no way of communicating with the Resistance, no way of warning them about the probable impending attack or letting them know she’s alive. And now they have Finn and Rose and BeeBee. If she tries to save them, she risks revealing herself and getting martyred...but the alternative, to leave them in the hands of the Capitol, is unthinkable. 

“I have to end this,” she realizes aloud. “Nothing good is safe while Snoke is alive. He’ll just keep killing and hurting until he gets what he wants. Even if it means burning all of Coruscant to the ground, as long as he can rule the ashes.”

“What are you thinking?” Maz asks quietly. 

Rey paces up and down a moment longer. “I have to find a way to get to Snoke. To kill him.”

“There will always be another Snoke, another Palpatine,” Maz points out. 

“Yes,” Rey agrees, “But there won’t be a new president for  _ at least _ a few hours, probably longer. That’s just enough time for the Capitol to panic and for the Resistance to take it.”

“Rey,” Ben says carefully, “Snoke is the most well-protected man in the country. Even if you get close enough to kill him—and that’s a long shot—you won’t make it out of there alive.”

“Fine,” she says. “As long as he dies, I don’t care what happens to me.”

His eyes flash. “ _ I _ care what happens to you.”

“If that’s true, then you have to let me do this,” she says firmly. “Because if Snoke wins, it’s only a matter of time before they find us and kill us, and if I’m going to die, I want it to be for a good cause.” 

Ben storms out of the kitchen, feet pounding down the stairs. 

Rey drops into her chair. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Maz asks.

“No,” Rey says honestly. “But I know I have to.”

Maz nods. “Okay. You just tell me what you need.”

“I don’t know. I don’t even know where to start.”

The older woman pats her hand. “Talk to Chewie when he gets home. Maybe he’ll have an idea.”

Rey somehow doubts that; she has a feeling that Chewie’s used up all of his pull as a Peacekeeper. But it’s as good a place to start as any. 

It’s a while later, when everyone is gathered in the living room watching Capitol TV, hoping to glean something,  _ anything _ , about their missing friends, that Rey slips downstairs. It’s been a couple of hours since Ben stormed downstairs and she hasn’t seen him in all that time. He’s probably still angry with her. 

She knocks on the door before she comes in. The lights are off, but she can see him hunched over on the bed in the light coming in from the hall. “Ben?” she asks softly. 

He doesn’t move or say anything. She closes the door behind her and walks with slow, cautious steps to the bed. “Ben? Will you talk to me, please?” She overestimates the distance and walks right into his legs. Instead of being angry, he pulls her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her shoulder. 

“I want to help you kill Snoke.” 

She touches his face. His cheeks are damp. “You do?”

“Yes.” He turns his head to kiss her palm. “You’re right. Nothing good is safe while he’s alive. He’s been hurting me for as long as I can remember. He’s been hurting all of us. We have to stop it. You and I.”

“Tell me what to do,” she breathes. 

“I can get us to him. I know my way around the palace—I can convince everyone there that I’ve been acting on orders to retrieve the Mockingjay. He’ll want a private audience, no interruptions. He doesn’t like having cameras on him, either, so we can kill him and no one will know until it’s too late. We may even be able to get out of the palace alive--but that’s a long shot.”

“Are you sure?” 

His thumb circles her hipbone. “I’m sure that his vanity will make him enter a room with no guards and no cameras if it gives him the chance to talk to you. He doesn’t like to be shown up, and you’ve done nothing but show him up. He won’t want any witnesses of that.”

“What about weapons?” she asks. “I don’t think the Peacekeepers at the palace will let us see Snoke unless we’re unarmed.”

“They won’t, but do you really think a man as paranoid as Snoke doesn’t keep weapons hidden all over the place?”

Rey considers this. “How do you know all this?”

Ben is quiet for a long moment. “I told you Snoke has been hurting me for as long as I can remember. As soon as I won my games and could come to the Capitol, he…” His voice falters. 

“Oh,  _ Ben _ ,” she murmurs, wrapping her arms around him. 

“He made me believe he understood me in a way no one else did. He told me I had so much...raw, untamed power. That I needed him to survive. It was years before I realized these were just lies he fed me. It was never about me, it was always about my family. The grandson of Anakin Skywalker, the seed that won’t stop growing.”

Rey traces his jawbone. “You should’ve been the Mockingjay—you’re the one who wasn’t meant to survive, but you did anyway.”

“I’m not as selfless as you.”

“That’s a nice way of saying I don’t think before I act.”

He gives a low chuckle. “That’s why people like you. People don’t like me; if I’d been the Mockingjay, the Resistance wouldn’t be where it is now.”

Rey rests her forehead against his. “We have to do this soon, Ben. The Capitol’s setting a trap for the Resistance.”

“I know. I heard things, in the palace.”

She opens her mouth to ask what he heard, but someone upstairs shouts, “Rey! You’d better come see this!”

She bangs up the stairs, Ben right behind her, and stumbles into the living room. She thinks there will be news of Finn and Rose or the missing victors. She does not expect to see Snoke making a heartfelt plea on the screen.

“...for all those who live more than a half mile outside City Circle, I urge you to come to the palace tomorrow at dawn. Come to my home; I will personally feed you, shelter you, and keep you safe from these bloodthirsty rebels. Coruscant today. Coruscant tomorrow. Coruscant forever.” 

The broadcast replays several times. 

“More than a half mile,” Koo muses. “The Resistance must be close.”

“Very close,” Ben agrees. “And they’re sending hovercraft.”

“How do you know?”

“Snoke would never invite so many people into his home with the intent of protecting them,” Ben says, lip curled. “He wants to use them as a human shield. He knows that the Resistance doesn’t have the same qualms he does about killing civilians. He’s afraid they’ll bomb the palace, which he knows my mother would never allow with so many unarmed civilians in the vicinity.”

Poe lets out a low whistle. “Sick bastard.”

Jyn starts up about Snoke and all the things she’d like to say to him, but Rey tunes her out. 

_ Tomorrow at dawn _ . Of course he’d want them to come in daylight, when they’re easily visible to the Resistance. They could do it; she and Ben could really sneak out and join the throng of Capitol citizens heading to the palace. They could disguise themselves. Wear the Peacekeeper uniforms again, maybe, sneak in, kill Snoke. She glances up at Ben and sees that he’s looking at her, apparently having the same thought. Silently, they retreat to the kitchen.

“Tomorrow at dawn,” she breathes. “We’ll leave when the others are sleeping.”

“You don’t want to tell them?”

She shakes her head. “They’ll just try to stop me, or come with me. I can’t risk that. And,” her voice catches. “It’ll be easier this way.”  _ If I don’t have to say goodbye _ . 

He nods. “Okay. If that’s what you want.”

She stands on her toes to kiss him, sighing when he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her closer.  _ We’re going to die in a few hours _ , she thinks.  _ This is the last time we’ll get to touch each other.  _

Ben must have the same thought, because he backs her into a counter, his kisses growing more and more heated. 

“No,” she says, turning her head. “Not yet, we have to...we have to figure this out first.”

He sighs, dropping his forehead against hers. “Right. Okay.”

“We need...disguises,” she says, trying to think through the fog in her brain. “The Peacekeeper uniforms?”

He considers this. “I think they’ll be checking in with Peacekeepers now that they know members of the Resistance have access to the uniforms. Besides, Peacekeepers only get so far; they’d definitely check in with us if we tried to get into the palace.”

“We’d get farther than if we went dressed as Capitol citizens,” she points out. 

He hesitates. “I have a plan.”

“I’m listening.”

He tries to find the words. “Snoke...has been manipulating me my whole life. It didn’t just start with the games, he was always...there, from the moment I was born. Even when I grew to resent him, he knew I was too afraid to do anything about it. When I was being held in the tribute center, he promised me things. He’s always promised me things that he’s never delivered, but...we could make him think that I’m still scared and still believe his promises.”

“You want to go to the palace without a disguise,” she realizes.

“Yes.” His eyes won’t meet hers now. “If we made it look like...I didn’t want any part of the rescue mission, if I brought you to him…”

It’s a good plan. The best they have. He’s right that they would only get so far as Peacekeepers, maybe not far enough. But if Ben Solo marches up to the palace with the captured Mockingjay, they’ll almost certainly get to see Snoke. 

“I think we should wear disguises,” he continues. “It’s too long of a walk to the palace for a trigger-happy Peacekeeper not to play the hero. We’ll go unnoticed as Capitol citizens.” He hesitates again. “I think we should also make it look like I knocked you out. It wouldn’t make sense for you to just...walk with me if you’re my prisoner.” His eyes finally meet hers again. “Rey?”

“Let’s do it,” she says. “The only problem is that we don’t have any Capitol clothes.”

Ben’s lip curls. “Which room is Cee’s?”

Truthfully, Rey doesn’t know, but as everyone else is occupied watching TV, they have time to snoop. It becomes apparent which rooms are occupied by Rey’s Resistance companions by the worn rucksacks and handful of clothes scattered on the floor, but Rey is surprised to find that only one room is left on this floor. She and Ben poke around and realize, with dawning horror and delight, that Cee  _ and _ Artoo share the room. The room with only one bed. 

“Are they…?”

Maz and Chewie, Jyn and Cassian, and now Cee and Artoo. Rey wonders how many more of her friends have secretly paired off. 

They find plenty of wigs and makeup, but few of Cee and Artoo’s clothes would work to conceal their identities. They do find a lightweight metallic gold wrap that Rey could easily pull over her head, but unfortunately, Ben towers over Cee and Artoo and can’t wear anything of theirs without drawing attention to its small size. 

“Why are all of Cee’s clothes so  _ form-fitting _ ?” he grumbles.

“Oh, sweetie. You’re never going to find something here.”

Ben and Rey both whip their heads to see Maz standing in the doorway, smiling even as she shakes her head. “You’re in the house of one of the most well-known stylists in Coruscant and you thought I wouldn’t be prepared for this very moment?” She tsks. Under her arm is a bundle of black fabric, which she gifts to Ben. “Here. A little something I’ve kept….just in case.” 

“You just happen to keep clothes in Ben’s size lying around your safe house?” Rey asks.

“One thing I learned from styling this family is that you always have to be prepared.” 

“No clothes for me?” Rey jokes.

Maz reaches up to pat her cheek. “Unless I’m very much mistaken, Lando already gave you clothes, remember? Your Mockingjay costume. You ought to wear it when you kill Snoke.”

Rey’s throat tightens, and she manages a short, sharp nod. “Right.”

“You won’t tell the others?” Ben asks.

“Not until after you’ve left,” Maz promises. 

Rey reaches down to hug her. “Thank you. For everything.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Maz murmurs. “ _ Both _ of you. And I’m so sorry it had to come to this.” When she pulls back, her eyes are wet. 

“Maz--”

The older woman shakes her head, wiping her eyes as she scuttles from the room. 

Rey sinks onto the bed. 

“You’re having second thoughts about leaving without saying goodbye, aren’t you?” Ben asks softly. 

“Yes. Please don’t let me.”

“Okay.” He pulls her to her feet and leads her from the room. “Let’s get your mind off of it.” He pulls her into the room they’ve been sharing, his eyes never leaving hers even as he closes the door behind them and drops his bundle of clothes on the floor. He takes the golden wrap from her hand and drops this on the floor, too. When he leans down to kiss her, she is already surging up to meet him, fingers curling in his shirt while his hands steady her waist. He lifts her with ease, depositing her on the bed before covering her body with his own. 

If their lovemaking was desperate before, it’s nothing compared to now. Ben is tender, but not gentle, as he thrusts into her. They’re still half-clothed, too eager to finish undressing. The force of Rey’s first climax, swift and sudden, has her sobbing into his shoulder as her hands scrabble for purchase along his back. 

“I love you,” he groans into her neck. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” 

On her second climax, they come together, a shaking mess of limbs as they try to meld flesh with flesh before they collapse. In a handful of minutes he is inside her again, and in even less time they both come again. They fall asleep in an exhausted tangle and wake a few hours later to the unmistakable sound of Chewie’s footfalls on the floor above. 

“It’s early,” Rey murmurs. 

Ben hums. “We still have a few hours.” 

They just lie there, listening to the sounds of the people above. No one comes down for them, so they know that Chewie doesn’t have any news—not that they expected he would. They’re both pretty certain they know what’s become of Finn and Rose and BeeBee. 

They wait until they hear the others go to bed, every last set of footsteps accounted for, before they get up and slip into their clothes. It’s only been a few days since Rey wore her Mockingjay costume, but it feels like an eternity. 

“This is bulletproof, you said?” Ben asks as he watches her dress. 

“And flameproof.”

He nods. “Maybe one of us will make it out of this after all.” 

“Yeah,” Rey mutters. “I wouldn’t count on it.” 

When they have both dressed, they pad up the stairs, taking pains to be as quiet as possible. Jyn and Cassian are still sleeping on the couch, so they keep their voices low. 

“Can you act unconscious?” he whispers.

“Yeah...how do you want to…?”

“Climb on my back.”

Rey hops on his back and draws the hood of Cee’s gold wrap all the way over her face before going limp. “This okay?”

“Yeah, okay for you?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” He takes a deep breath. “Here goes.” 

And Ben walks them both outside. 

  
  



	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> G U Y S. We're here. The penultimate chapter. The climax. The chapter that will make y'all hate me more than ever. 
> 
> The final chapter is going to be much shorter than the others. You'll see why. Just. Yeah.
> 
> I'm also going out of town this weekend so I definitely won't be updating early. 
> 
> Um...that's it, I think? I would say enjoy but. Hm.

The air is surprisingly cool, making the wraps they use to hide their faces much less conspicuous. Rey tries not to open her eyes or move at all, which proves to be difficult. She’s so  _ aware _ that they’re out in the open. She doubts anyone will make an effort to look at the faces beneath their hoods, but...what if they  _ do _ ? What if the crowd riots because the Mockingjay and Ben Solo are traipsing through the Capitol on their way to the Presidential Palace? But they don’t, of course; everyone is too focused on themselves to pay her and Ben any notice. Ben walks for what feels like ages, slow and ambling like the other evacuees. A few people brush past them, clearly hoping to be the first ones to get to the palace.

After what feels like an eternity, Ben slows down. Rey feels the press of people all around her and chances a look, her eyes barely opening. Unfortunately her face is turned down, so all she can see are feet on the ground. People are talking ahead of her, one voice brusque and authoritative over the others. 

“The gates will be opening momentarily—please remain calm.”

Rey wonders if the Peacekeeper knows that what he’s saying is a lie. 

Ben moves forward, pushing past people at the gates. Some of them snap at him to wait his turn, but most of them don’t resist, perhaps assuming Rey is ill and needs assistance. Whatever the case, the authoritative voice grows closer and closer until he’s practically shouting in Rey’s face. 

“The gates will be opening  _ momentarily _ —“ He stops short.

“You know who I am,” Ben says quietly. 

“Yes,” the Peacekeeper growls. 

“Tell President Snoke I have something for him.” Rey forces herself not to flinch as Ben tilts her chin up towards the Peacekeeper.

There’s a pause, and then the Peacekeepers are conferring amongst themselves. A moment later Ben is walking forward. Rey can hear people in the crowd behind them voicing outrage. They walk for what feels like an eternity, down a path and up a set of stairs. Rey vaguely remembers entering this way from her Victory Tour. That seems a lifetime ago now. A door clangs shut behind them, and a voice orders Ben to, “put the girl down.” 

Ben kneels, urging her off his back. She sinks in a graceless heap on the ground. She feels someone touching her, removing the wrap to pat her down, and wills herself not to move, not even to suck in a nervous breath. 

“Clear,” a voice announces. 

“All right. You can take her.”

Ben gathers her in his arms and stands, carrying her up a set of stairs and down a hallway. She doesn’t dare open her eyes, aware now more than ever that they are under surveillance. She’s so close.  _ They _ are so close. 

“Wait here.” 

Ben stands still for a long minute. Not a long minute— _ several _ very long minutes. Rey begins to feel the first real stabs of panic. Maybe they won’t get to see Snoke after all. Maybe he’s too engrossed in the war to see a knocked out celebrity, and he’ll just hand them over to be tortured or killed. 

“You may enter.”

Ben walks forward slowly. A door closes behind them. Ben comes to a halt, then sets her down on the ground. 

“So!” 

Even just hearing his voice in person again sends a chill down her spine. 

“My dutiful protégé brings me the  _ Mockingjay _ . This  _ is _ an unexpected delight!”

“You were right—she’s just a girl. She’s nothing,” Ben says in a voice that sounds so unlike him Rey almost wonders if it really is him. 

“Hmm. I know that, my boy, but...do you?”

“...sir?”

“You’ll forgive me if I’m suspicious, Ben, but your behavior of late has been...somewhat erratic. And after disappearing from the tribute center...well, there’s no telling what ideas she could have put into your head.”

“I am loyal to you,” Ben says in that terrible voice. “I brought her here so we could end this war.” His voice takes an almost pathetic edge. “You told me...you  _ promised _ me…”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Snoke croons. “You will receive all that I promised you...as soon as the Mockingjay is dead.”

There’s a pause.

“Forgive me, sir, but would it not be better to keep her alive? My mother will never attack the palace as long as Rey’s life is in danger.”

“Your mother will never attack the palace with so many civilians surrounding it. Rey Niima will die, and when we broadcast the news of her death, our troops will rally and the Resistance will lose hope and fall. Do you know why the Mockingjay has been so powerful? It’s because she gives the districts  _ hope _ . Hope is more powerful than fear, and without it, the Resistance will crumble. We need them to lose hope. We need them to lose  _ her _ .”

“As you say,” Ben says in that unrecognizable voice. 

“And you’re going to be the one to do it.”

A pause. “Sir?”

“You want a place at my side? Kill the girl.” 

“Now?”

“Of course now. The sooner, the better.”

“...while she’s unconscious?”

Snoke makes a disgusted sound. “Perhaps you do have too much of your mother in you. Can only kill an opponent under fair terms. You certainly had no such qualms when you won your Hunger Games.”

The room is so still. 

“She should be awake.”

Snoke makes another sound of disgust. “Very well—if that is your wish.”

Rey feels Ben kneel beside her and shake her, his hand slapping her cheeks. She makes a show of “waking up”, her eyes fluttering open and taking in her surroundings. Ben’s face looms above her, unreadable once more. 

“Get up,  _ Mockingjay _ .”

She looks to Snoke, who is sitting on a throne. She recognizes this room as the one from the Capitol propos, black polished floor and crimson walls. She sits up slowly, lets Ben take her arm and roughly pull her to her feet. 

“It’s not too late,” she croaks at Ben, trying to sound upset and betrayed. “We can end this.”

Snoke laughs at that. “You stupid girl. You thought Ben would run away with you? That you could turn him with the power of  _ love _ ? Bring him back to the Resistance? I would’ve thought you’d had more sense in you, young Rey. The Resistance is about to fall, and my protege is about to do the first really useful thing he’s done in his life and end yours.”

“You underestimate the Resistance,” she says fiercely. “And Ben Solo. And me. It will be your downfall.”

“A bit cocky, aren’t we?” He leans forward. “Your death will bring my victory over the Resistance.”

Rey steels her resolve. “ _ No _ .”

Snoke’s voice is barely more than a hiss. “ _ Yes _ .”

Rey lunges for him, but Ben surprises her by grabbing her around the middle and hauling her off her feet. Her heart pounds as she fights him. Why is he stopping her from killing Snoke? He’s  _ right there _ . She wonders, terribly, fearfully, if bringing her to Snoke was really an act, and if maybe there wasn’t a part of him planning it all along.

“Such  _ spunk _ ,” Snoke remarks. “Fighting it will only draw it out. By now I’m sure you’ve gathered that the Resistance is walking into a trap. While they advance deeper into the Capitol, the rest of my armies move in behind them. Your precious general cannot touch me here--she would never harm so many unarmed civilians. So she is trapped, and the Resistance will be nothing more than a memory in a matter of hours.”

Rey manages to elbow Ben in the abdomen; he drops her and she runs towards Snoke, but Ben yanks on the fabric hanging from her belt and knocks her to the ground, pinning her wrists above her head.

“Still that fiery spit of hope!” Snoke says, amused. 

“Don’t fight it, Rey,” Ben tells her, and now he sounds like his old self again. She stills, searching for a sign that this is really Ben, and not the creation of the Capitol. 

Snoke flips up the arm of his throne and withdraws a long, pointed blade. “Now, are you going to take it like a martyr, or am I going to have to call a guard?”

Rey’s eyes flit to Ben’s. “You won’t kill me,” she says, trying not to let her uncertainty show. 

“You are even stupider than I thought. Ben. The knife.”

Ben releases Rey and walks to the platform, taking the knife from Snoke. It’s an elegant weapon, the hilt encrusted with gems and the blade so bright that it mirrors the red of the room. Ben hesitates, then walks back to Rey. She is on her knees now, her back throbbing from where he threw her down on the ground.  _ Please, let this be a ruse, don’t let him kill me... _

“Kill her,” Snoke urges. “Where there was conflict in you, I now sense resolve. Where there was weakness, strength. Fulfill your duty to your master.”

Ben aims the blade at her throat. “I know what I have to do.”

Rey can feel sweat pouring down her back. “Ben…”

“ _ Do it _ ,” Snoke urges. 

Ben’s hand trembles. 

“What are you waiting for?” Snoke barks. “Kill her!”

But still, Ben does not, his eyes boring into hers. “I can’t.”

Rey breathes a sigh of relief. 

“Shall I call the guard to force your hand?” Snoke seethes. He stands up. “Kill her!” When Ben still does not, he marches forward. “ _ Kill _ the damn girl! If you won’t do it, I will—“

He walks right into the knife. 

For a moment, all the three of them can do is stare at the blade in Snoke’s chest. It looks so odd there, so out of place. Odder still is Snoke just...standing there. Looking at it as if it is nothing more than a stain he had not noticed until now. He looks up at Ben, as if for an explanation. Silently, barely moving at all, Ben slides the blade further in, pushing past Snoke’s ribs and piercing his heart. 

Snoke, to his credit, looks only mildly inconvenienced at this betrayal. He crumples in a heap on the polished black floor, his lips parting. His eyes roll to the ceiling. 

Rey looks away. She doesn’t think she can take another pair of eyes. 

“Ben?” she croaks. 

He drops the knife, closing the gap between them and wraps his arms around her. “It was all a ruse, you know that? I was never going to hurt you.”

“It was very convincing,” she murmurs. Of course it was a ruse. She feels so foolish. Ben would never betray her. Ben would never hurt her, no matter what they did to him. No matter what  _ Snoke _ did to him. Ben loves her.

“I know. It had to be. I’m sorry. There’s a panic button on his throne...I had to lure him away from it.” He trembles around her. “He’s dead,” he whispers. 

Rey’s arms go around him. After years of tormenting Ben, over half his life, maybe even all of it, Snoke can no longer hurt him. He’s gone. She feels as if there should be some kind of bang—a cannon going off like in the Hunger Games. But...there isn’t. It’s just. Quiet. How long before someone realizes? 

“Ben,” she says again. “Ben, is there a way out?”

He looks disoriented, but after a moment he shakes his head. “No. There are secret passageways, shortcuts, all over this place but...not in here.”

Rey swallows. “We have to go out the way we came in, then.”

He thinks for a long moment. “They don’t know that Snoke is dead. If we...if we walk out...I can say I’m taking you to...to send a message to the Resistance.”

“You think they’ll buy that?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. It may work...but it may not.”

She nods. “We have to try.”

Ben kisses her. It’s desperate and sloppy, but his trembling hands still after a moment. “Okay,” he says. “Let’s go.” 

He takes her arm and strides to the door, setting his jaw as he does. Rey schools her expression into one of defeat as he yanks open the door and thrusts her out. There are Peacekeepers waiting outside, and what looks like Snoke’s personal assistant, but Ben shuts the door. “The president wants to be alone,” he says in a cold voice used to giving orders. “I’m taking the Mockingjay to send a message to the Resistance.”

“The president wants to be  _ alone _ ?” the personal assistant asks, looking harried. “He left in the middle of a  _ strategy meeting _ \--”

“Questioning the president is treason, Mitaka--surely you knew that?” Ben says quietly.

Mitaka pales. “Of course...if that is the president’s wish.”

“It is. See that he is not disturbed.” Ben gives Rey’s arm a jerk and urges her forward. She walks stiffly, unable to help glancing over her shoulder at Mitaka and the Peacekeepers. They’re just. Standing there. Outside the door. Waiting for a summons that will never come. 

Rey turns back around, keeps her eyes downcast as Ben walks her down the hallway and down a flight of stairs. “There’s a room on the first floor,” he whispers. “It has a tunnel that goes out to City Circle.”

Rey hopes that they make it.

There are more people scuttering around on the first floor--Rey gets the sense that the palace is full of officials and Peacekeepers awaiting orders. It would make sense for Snoke to keep the heads of his government here, where they can use the human shield outside the palace gates to plot in relative safety. Everyone glances at Ben and Rey, curious, but they just keep walking. 

“What are you doing?” one man in military attire finally asks, hand at his holster.

“No need for that, Commander,” Ben says in a bored tone. “As you can see, I’ve already apprehended the Mockingjay. She won’t be giving us any more trouble. Will you, Mockingjay?”

“You’re a monster,” she hisses.

“Yes, I am,” Ben agrees. 

The commander doesn’t look entirely convinced, but a Peacekeeper interrupts. “Sir! We found an intruder…”

Ben’s hand clenches around Rey’s arm. She lifts her eyes past the commander and Peacekeeper to see another, very tall, very familiar Peacekeeper with one enormous hand on the shoulder of a man she knows very well.

“Dad?” Ben breathes.

Han Solo looks up, a smile cracking his voice. “Hey, kid,” he says softly.

That’s when the bomb hits.

  
  



	25. epilogue

They tell Rey, later, that her fireproof Mockingjay costume was the only thing that saved her and Ben. They tell her that if the force of the blast hadn’t knocked her backwards and into Ben, the wall of flames that erupted would have killed him. As it is, he is only badly burned, just as she is when the medics finally arrive.

They are the only survivors.

“I didn’t know he was down there,” Leia says hoarsely when she comes to visit Rey. “I didn’t know any of you were. I knew he’d gone to look for you, but...I never imagined all four of you would end up at the palace the moment we dropped the bomb.”

Rey doesn’t think she’ll ever forgive herself.

She spends weeks in a room with a window. Beyond it, she is told, is a beautiful view of City Circle. She doesn’t find out. She can’t bear to look outside.

She has visitors. Leia, Poe, Maz, Cee, and Artoo. Jyn and Cassian. Holdo, Bodhi, Kaydel, and Lando. Koo, Salaka, and Saile. Even Finn and Rose and sometimes BeeBee, who, as it turns out, were safe all along. They rubbed elbows in a casino in City Circle, found out all about Snoke’s plan. They used their connections to contact Leia. That was how she knew Snoke would use the people of the Capitol as a human shield but wouldn’t actually let any of them into the palace. That was how she knew that if she bombed the palace, the only people inside it would be Snoke and all his stooges.

She had no way of knowing Ben and Rey would be there. She had no way of knowing, either, that Han would have stumbled up to the safe house mere moments after Ben and Rey left, that he and Chewie concocted a half-baked, desperate plan to get Ben and Rey out of the palace before the bomb hit. 

Rey can feel nothing but regret in those weeks she spends in her room. If she and Ben had waited, if they hadn’t gone, Han would have found them and would have warned them. Snoke would have died anyway, and Han and Chewie would still be alive. If she hadn’t gone to the Capitol to free Ben, if she’d waited, if she’d stayed with the Resistance. If she’d stayed in the arena. If she had jumped in front of that mutt and saved Paige’s life. If she’d never volunteered for that boy. It all goes back and back. There’s no end to the list of things she could have done differently to avoid all this.

“You had no way of knowing,” a psychologist tells her twice a week. “You were faced with impossible decisions. You did what you knew was right. None of this is your fault.”

_ But it is _ , Rey thinks.  _ Everything that has happened in this war is because of me.  _

She doesn’t talk that whole time. There is only minimal damage to her vocal cords, but when pressed, when coaxed, she cannot speak. 

“Trauma,” the lead medic says. 

“What do we do?” 

“We wait.”

So they stop pressing, stop coaxing. The new skin they’ve put on her hands is growing well, isn’t as tender anymore. Fingernails are growing, too, and soon they will work like regular hands. The hair on her head is growing as well, they tell her. She doesn’t really know because she doesn’t want to look in a mirror.

She thinks, sometimes, of asking for Ben. She knows from her friends that he’s only next door, being treated just as she is, but he feels so very far away. Every time she starts to communicate what she wants, she decides against it because she thinks he must hate her. She killed his father. She is the reason Han is dead, the reason he’s been sitting in a room just like hers letting his wounds heal. 

_ He was the only person I ever really loved _ , she thinks.  _ And I’ve done nothing but make his life hell.  _

No one tells her about him, or asks if she wants to see him, which only reinforces her belief that he hates her. She lies in bed at night while she waits for the morphling to kick in, her heart splitting in two as she thinks about the last few months. 

_ I wish I’d never been born _ .

Did her parents know she would be this much trouble? Are they really dead? Or did they just get rid of her because everything she touches turns to ash?

She’s lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling, when a medic pops in her head. “You have a visitor,” she says softly, and then Ben is staggering into the room, his gait unsteady but determined. The medic tries to offer him assistance, but he shakes her off. 

Rey sits up, her eyes wide as she watches him stumble towards her. 

“Ben,” she says in a cracked voice that hasn’t been used in weeks.

He eases onto her bed. “I missed you.” His voice is rough, but nowhere near as bad as hers.

She clears her throat, wills her voice to be clear. “I thought you didn’t want to see me.” The words are half-whispers, half-whimpers. 

“Why?” There’s a scar running down his face, a black line where the medics are trying to make his skin knit back together. Even in this state of disrepair, of brokenness, Rey thinks he is beautiful.

“Because I killed Han.” And for the first time in weeks, she cries. 

“You didn’t.” Ben reaches for her. “Rey. You did not kill my father.”

All the tears she has not shed until now burst like a dam. They lie down on her bed and hold each other until the tears stop.

“I love you,” Ben tells her, and she starts crying all over again. “Rey. I love you. I will always love you.”

She can’t form the words to tell him she loves him back, but she thinks he understands anyway.

.

The medics let them out after a couple more weeks. The rest of their skin and hair and nails will grow back on their own. Ben will have a permanent scar on his face. They tell him they can fix it with extra surgery, but he only says he’ll think about it. Rey understands. They never let victors keep scars after the games; they wanted the victors to look pure and untarnished. All the scars were kept on the inside. Ben finally has a scar that the rest of the world can see, too.

Coruscant is a totally different world now. When Snoke and the heads of his government and military were killed, Coruscant was left without leadership. They installed Leia as interim president, but everyone seems confident that when a proper election can take place, she will remain president. She is one of those people, it appears, who buries their grief in work. Rey has never met Anakin Skywalker or Padmé Amidala, but she has the feeling, somehow, that they would be proud of their daughter. In the short time since the fall of the Capitol, she has completely transformed Coruscant. There are no borders between districts now, no difference in the way district and Capitol citizens are treated. Most importantly, there are no more Hunger Games.

Rey knows from listening to her friends that it was suggested. A Hunger Games for the Capitol children, that is. Give them a taste of their own medicine. She’s relieved when they tell her Leia vetoed it almost at once. 

“Vengeance has no end,” she reportedly said. “And as long as we see them as  _ them _ and not  _ us _ , this war is not over.”

And that was the end of that.

Rey and Ben don’t stick around to see Leia’s new Coruscant. The doctors recommend a quiet place to rest, relax, and rebuild themselves--so they return to District 5. Much of it has been damaged in the war, but the Victor’s Village is largely untouched.

Rey moves into Ben’s house, because the house they assigned her has never felt much like a home anyway. They stay up half the night with nightmares most times, but the nightmares get better. More manageable. Maybe it’s having someone there to tell you it will be all right. Maybe it’s just that everyone was right, and nightmares really do go away with time. 

Luke comes back to 5 after a while. When Leia is settled. When she’s burying herself in work because she wants to and not because she has to. He still visits her often, but he becomes occupied with raising chickens. Ben thinks they’re stupid. Rey likes them just to spite him.

Their friends come to visit sometimes, and after a while, they return the favor. The first time they leave District 5 is to attend Jyn and Cassian’s wedding, which is held in their new home of District 4.

“Too many memories in 12 and 3,” Cassian explains. “And we always wanted to see the ocean.”

It’s a lovely ceremony, and Rey cries when she thinks that something so beautiful could exist in this ugly, awful world. It gives her the first real flicker of hope she’s felt in a long, long time.

Her own wedding is not long after. It’s a small ceremony, with just their friends and family attending. Rey smiles so much she thinks her face might break.

“I love you,” she tells Ben, over and over. “I love you and I will never stop loving you.”

“I know,” he always says, grinning down at her. “I love you too.”

.

They have bad days. Bad weeks. Once in a while a bad month. But those bad times become fewer and farther between. They still happen, of course. They won’t ever stop happening. But Rey begins to lose track of them amongst all the good.

She and Ben have a little girl they name Hope. She is so small and so perfect, and they do not know how they will ever be good enough for her. The feeling never goes away, and when Rey gives birth to a second child, a boy they name Anakin, they do not know how they will ever be good enough for him, either. But they try. Oh, they try.

It’s late one night when Anakin cries. Ben goes, because he always goes when his children cry out in the night. Rey follows, ready to nurse or sing, and watches Ben rock their son, murmuring to him.

“Did you have a nightmare? I have nightmares too. Someday I’ll explain it to you. Why they came. Why they won’t ever go away. But I’ll tell you how I survive it. I play a little game. I take everything one step at a time. I tell myself I just have to get through tomorrow, or next week, or my birthday. I make everything seem small so it doesn’t seem so scary.”

Rey bends down, kisses Ben’s head. He looks up at her as if, after all this time, he still can’t believe she’s really here.

“I know, it doesn’t sound like a very fun game,” he says, turning back to Anakin. “But there are much worse games to play.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what to say. This fic means so much to me and it means even more that so many of you liked it. Thank you for reading <3


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